


Camp Cloddy Pebbles

by lapislazuleaf



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Alternate Universe - Summer Camp, Amputee Peridot (Steven Universe), Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, F/M, Jasper and Lapis break up, Lapidot is endgame cough cough just like in canon cough cough, Soulmate-Identifying Timers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-22
Updated: 2018-11-26
Packaged: 2019-07-01 06:21:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 50,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15768384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lapislazuleaf/pseuds/lapislazuleaf
Summary: They say a stopped clock is right twice a day. However, a stopped wristwatch proved to be useless for Peridot, who sat waiting on the uncomfortable bus stop bench she seemed damned to wait at for eternities. She sighed, letting  her right hand fall into her lap. She watched the traffic go by aimlessly and, as they tend to do, her eyes wandered to her left wrist, which was lightly gripping the end of the bench, wrist turned down, so she couldn’t see the small, frozen timer adorning her wrist. She didn’t need to look to see it was frozen. 00:00:00:00:05:17, or zero years, zero months, zero days, zero hours, five minutes and seventeen seconds. It had remained that way for years now.





	1. In-trio-ductions

 They say a stopped clock is right twice a day. However, a stopped wristwatch proved to be useless for Peridot, who sat waiting on the uncomfortable bus stop bench she seemed damned to wait at for eternities. The bus was supposed to arrive at 9:00 am, but she had no way of knowing exactly _how_ late it was running with her watch's dead battery. She sighed, letting her right hand fall into her lap. She watched the traffic go by aimlessly and, as they tend to do, her eyes wandered to her left wrist, which was lightly gripping the end of the bench, wrist turned down, so she couldn’t see the small, frozen timer adorning her wrist. She didn’t need to look to see it was frozen. 00:00:00:00:05:17, or zero years, zero months, zero days, zero hours, five minutes and seventeen seconds. It had remained that way for years now. She learned as a child that one’s timer will freeze, stop, cease, etc, if either soulmate dies. Peridot couldn’t bring herself to be amused at the ironic way such a stipulation affected her. Peridot’s soulmate didn’t die that day, but the doctors tell her she did. Twice. The first time on the ambulance and again when the doctors were– Peridot closed her eyes tightly to try and suppress the anticipated flood of oncoming memories…

Thankfully, the screeching of the bus’s brakes pulled her out of her thoughts. Peridot stood up slowly, careful to keep herself steady as she hoisted up her duffel bag and made her way onto the bus. _The last thing you need is to have a panic attack in front of the kids you'll be going to summer camp with_ , she thought as she found a vacant seat and fixed her gaze outside the window, setting her bag beside her to deter any would-be seatmates.

Ever since... _the accident_... timers had always been a sore subject for Peridot Greene. Unlike most children, who obsessively check their wrists and daydream about the day they see those fabled zeroes, Peridot hadn't put much anticipation into the day she would meet her fated. Was she anxious as the timer ticked down to zero months? Zero days? Zero hours? Certainly, she was, just as anyone would be, but she had much better things to do than worry about some dumb clock. Romance was overrated anyway, as far as Peridot cared. Still, it was hard to be okay with the quiet jealously that would bubble up when she saw a pair of soulmates or someone's timer determinedly ticking down, while her's remained utterly still. No, there were far better things for Peridot to worry about than the unchangeable misfortunes of her life. It wasn't as if her soulmate was the only thing she lost that day.

 

* * *

 

The blaring of her alarm clock app pulled Lapis out of the comforting emptiness of her subconscious and into the bright, clammy waking world. What the fuck was wrong with her air conditioner? It should _not_ be this hot in her room. She kneed the culprit for the terrible climate in her bedroom, “Jasper, why the fuck do you keep turning off my AC at night?”

The woman in question grumbled unintelligibly and rolled over, turning her back to Lapis without even waking up. 

Letting out a deep sigh, Lapis climbed out of bed and hit the power switch a little too hard, hoping the noise would disturb her inconsiderate house mate. Lapis couldn't stand the little things Jasper would do to seemingly make her life harder. Turn off the AC so Lapis sweats to death in her sleep, leave ridiculous amounts of long, bleach-blonde hair in the shower drain, never wash her own dishes; That sort of stuff. 

Granted, Lapis had to acknowledge it was a two-way street. They made a perfectly fucked up couple, as many without timers do when choosing a mate is at the mercy of human error. Though it wasn't exactly rare, it was uncommon for people to get a timer. Most people's timers will spontaneously appear during their early teenage years. Lapis, unfortunately, was a bit beyond the age when timers tended to manifest, as was Jasper. Maybe people like Lapis didn't deserve a soulmate. Maybe anybody lucky enough to have a timer wasn't unfortunate enough to be stuck with someone like Lapis. Lapis pondered these questions as she brewed her morning coffee, black and strong just as she liked it. 

Lapis got to work making breakfast. A quick glance at the clock told her she had a little under an hour before the bus would be arriving to take her and Jasper to summer camp. This would be the last year Lapis and Jasper could go to Beach City Summer Camp and there was no way in hell Lapis would miss the bus and spend summer alone, in Beach City, with Jasper. Just as Lapis's thoughts wandered back to her girlfriend, her second alarm, conveniently set 15 minutes after the first, went off from her bedroom. _Whatever_ , Lapis thought, _Jasper can turn it off just like the AC_.

A few moments later, Lapis heard Jasper roar followed by a loud crash. She could swear she heard some glass break. "What the fuck was that!?" she yelled down the hallway.

Rather than answer, Jasper came out of the bedroom and stomped past Lapis, fuming as she haphazardly dropped Lapis's now-cracked iPhone on the counter. "Turn your fucking alarm off next time," Jasper grumbled over her shoulder as she walked into the bathroom.

Lapis ground her teeth as she glared down at her phone. At least it was only cracked a little bit on the corner, but still. "Hurry up, you're going to be late and I won't make the bus wait for you!" Lapis barked through the bathroom door, taking her breakfast and coffee to the table. The bus was supposed to get to her house around 8:45, which didn't give Jasper much time to get her shit in gear. Lapis kicked her bare feet up on the table, resigning herself to the possibility of going to summer camp without her girlfriend. The thought was unsettlingly pleasant.

Jasper came out of the bathroom a few minutes later, wild hair slightly more tamed than before. "Where's my breakfast?" she asked pitifully, glancing longingly at Lapis's food, with an expression that made Lapis think of a puppy being kicked.

"On the counter, there's some coffee, too."

At the mention of coffee, Jasper's forlorn expression lit up and she went to dishing up her breakfast. She poured a cup of coffee and, taking a deep, satisfied sniff, Jasper sipped some of the precious morning beverage. Her face contorted and she loudly spit the coffee into the sink, "What the fuck, Lapis, this shit is more bitter than you!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short chapter im sorry


	2. Hi, My Name is Steven!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot meets one? two? new friends at camp CLOD CLOD CLOD CLOD CLOD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lapis's pov is taking a backseat while we enter the labrynth that is Peridot's mind. I told myself I would make this chapter at least 2,000 words. I'm a liar.

Peridot zoned out as the bus bounced down the poorly-maintained roads of Delmarva, arriving at it's last stop with a squelch of the brakes. A young boy with curly dark hair clambered onto the bus, looking on the verge of an excited panic. Peridot sized him up curiously as his eyes carefully scanned the passengers on the bus. Looking mildly disappointed with a glance down to his wrist, he made his way down the bus aisle, and, unfortunately, stopped at Peridot's seat. 

"Hi, I'm Steven! Can I sit by you? What's your name? I really like your glasses!" 

Peridot was caught off guard by the barrage of questions. "Uh, Peridot," she answered. 

The boy seemed to take this as a "yes" to his first question, as his eyes lit up and he carefully moved Peridot's bag to the floor and took the seat beside her. Peridot didn't have the heart to tell him to leave. 

"I'm going to meet my soulmate today!" Steven said excitedly, "My timer says thirty-three minutes!" 

 _Oh?_ Peridot thought, _Lucky you._

"That's pretty exciting, Steven," she tried, hoping her voice wouldn't betray the despair creeping into her chest and threatening to choke her. 

"I wonder what she'll be like! I hope she likes marshmallows! And the beach! Do you have a time-"

"No," she answered, quickly cutting him off. 

Steven looked at her pitifully, "Oh, well, my parents weren't soulmates, but they still fell in love. I'm sure you'll find someone!" 

 _Damn, this boy is the definition of optimism._ Peridot couldn't help but be impressed at Steven's social perseverance; most people would have dipped out of the conversation at Peridot's answer. She swore she could hear the eavesdroppers cringing.

"So," Steven continued, "have you been to Beach City Summer Camp before? This is my second year, but my aunts run the camp, so I know the place pretty well." He beamed at this, clearly proud of his ties to the camp faculty. 

"It's my first time, I just transfered to Beach City this spring." Peridot had been the smartest student in the entire Junior class at her previous high school, and had planned to graduate as valedictorian at Keystone High, but _after_ , she couldn't stand the way the other students looked at her - the way they would stop talking when she entered a room.  So, Peridot made the decision to transfer and finish high school in Beach City. She would probably still be valedictorian, considering how abnormally high her GPA was.

It didn't seem possible that Steven's eyes could get any brighter, but that was just what they did. "What year are you? I'm going to be a freshman this fall!"

Peridot was skeptical about that. Steven didn't look a day over twelve. "I'm going to be a senior," she said, slightly irritated that she had to feign the annoyance in her voice. This kid's positivity was infectious. Peridot didn't know how to feel about it.

Steven let out a squeal, startling Peridot, "We could hang out all the time! We might not have classes together but there's study halls, between classes, after school..." he began listing off on his fingers the times they might be able to spend time together.

Peridot decided she liked this Steven kid. The world hadn't corrupted him yet. 

 

* * *

 

Peridot watched the scenery go by from the passenger seat of her mother's car. They were on their way to Beach City to enroll Peridot in the local High School.

"Really, I don't see what's wrong with your old school," Peridot's mother, Emerald Greene-yes, that's her name-complained.

"Mom, you know what's wrong with it," Peridot drawled back. If she had to listen to another speech about what a burden it was to have such a miserable daughter as her-

"It's just one more year. Are you sure you don't want to... tough it out? What about all your friends?"

Peridot sighed, her mom knew she didn't have any friends. Not after a clique of mean spirited girls had spread rumor after rumor about her. On top of the rumors, which weren't exactly false, showing up after 3 weeks of absences, awkwardly sporting her obviously fake new leg, didn't help a teenager fit in. She hated being a spectacle. Well,  unless people were praising her for her book smarts. All Peridot wanted was to finish her last month of school in Keystone and start over.

Emerald echoed her daughter's sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose, "Alright, dear, whatever makes you happy."

"Thanks, mom," Peridot replied, turning her attention back out the window. A large building came into view which Peridot recognized as the high school she saw on beachcity.k12.dm.us. The school was built into a cliff side which was carved to look like a giant... diety? The statue was designed to give the illusion of the giant figure cradling the school entrance with one set of hands, while her other arms were lightly extended out, welcoming students to Beach City High.

"Well, you won't get enrolled by staring at it," Emerald said, hopping out of the car and running around to open Peridot's door.

"Mom, I can open my own door," Peridot grumbled as she carefully, carefully got out of the car. She spent a long time learning to walk like she didn't have a hunk of metal attached to her body and she wasn't about to betray the illusion and taint her fresh start with pity. On second thought, she was grateful for her mom getting the door. One less thing for Peridot to fail at.  


Once she was firmly planted on the ground, she began her way to the grandeur entrance of her new high school. Students bustled about the campus, the crowds paying no attention to Peridot or her mother. What a relief.

"Why don't you have a look around and I'll go see about this paperwork?" Emerald asked, gently nudging Peridot forward as she stepped past and hurried into the school.

Peridot took the opportunity to gape at the school one last time. Turning her attention to the front doors her mother just disappeared behind, she prepared herself to conquer the steps.

 _Lift one leg. Lift one stump. Ignore the numbness. Pretend your leg is there. Simple enough_ , she thought as she lifted her good leg to the first step. Before she could haul herself up, however, she was sent flying forward into the steps.

"Out of the way, nerd," somebody growled as they stomped past where she lay sprawled on the (concrete, she noted ruefully) stairs.

"Jasper, why are you always such a dick?" somebody snapped from behind Peridot.

As Peridot pushed herself up and twisted around so she was sitting, she looked up at the source of the voice. All Peridot could register was _blue_. The color struck her and made her limbs burn just like- no, nothing like-

"Hey, Earth to glasses, are you okay?" The voice pulled Peridot back, and the blue-haired girl waved her hand in front of Peridot's face, "Dude, I know you didn't hit your head,  you barely even fell."

Peridot made a sound somewhere between "Huh?" and "What?"

"I said: are you okay?" the girl repeated, slightly more annoyed this time.

"Oh, uh, yeah," Peridot said quickly.

"Cool," she replied, rushing up the steps past Peridot. Just like that, the girl disappeared through the doors. Peridot stayed seated on the steps until the bell rang, and the crowds began to clear up. By the time she managed to hobble to the office her mother was just finishing up Peridot's enrollment.

 

* * *

 

By the time the bus was pulling into Beach City Summer Camp, Steven was bouncing up and down in his seat and most of the bus was aware of the young boy's situation. His timer was nearing one minute and, as jealous as she would never admit she was, Peridot found herself excited for the boy. She couldn't blame him for his excitement, but all this talk of timers made her left wrist itch. She resisted the urge to touch it, lest Steven see the timer she had half-lied about only minutes prior.

As people began filing off the bus, Steven was sweating profusely and jumping from foot to foot in front of his seat. His coordinated footwork was on the ever-growing list of things Peridot envied about him. Peridot picked up her bag and had to remind Steven not to forget his as his timer reached 60 seconds. 

Steven quickly donned his backpack and grabbed Peridot's wrist, not noticing the slight hiss she let out as his fingers wrapped around the place where her timer was hidden. "C'mon, Peridot! Don't you want to be there when I meet my soulmate!" Steven nearly yelled, pushing past the other occupants of the bus and dragging Peridot along in his wake. She smiled apologetically at the annoyed teenagers as she stumbled after Steven, praying her leg wouldn't pop off like in a zombie movie.

The two exited the bus and were immediately overwhelmed by the number of kids crowded around the camp entrance. Numerous other buses were parked along the end of the dirt road, with kids unloading their luggage and hugging parents good-bye, for those lucky enough to get a ride to camp. Peridot's heart sank at the dejection on Steven's face.

"Peri, how am I gonna find her?" Steven whimpered, looking at his timer which was now nearing 30 seconds.

Peridot ignored the nickname for now. "Try looking for someone looking at their wrist," she suggested. Most soulmates have synchronized timers, but there were instances of soulmates being mismatched. Steven was definitely more fortunate than that, Peridot was certain.

Steven's eyes lit up with their usual vigor and he nodded determinedly. "That's a great idea!" He praised as he began scanning the crowd. His face broke out into the biggest grin Peridot had ever seen, and she followed his gaze to a girl standing off by a dark car, looking at her wrist with nerves written all over her face. She looked up, her eyes meeting Steven's as shock registered on her face.

_Beep-beep. Beep-beep. Beep-beep._

Steven and Peridot both looked down to the former's wrist and, replacing the digits which had been there moments before, was a name: Connie.

Steven took off fast enough to startle Peridot, and he yelled to the girl, Connie, as he pushed through the crowd, "Hi! My name is Steven!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> connverse, anyone?


	3. Welcome to Camp Clod

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot makes some more friends... and enemies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this one took so long lmao I had a craaaazzzyyyy weekend. college amiright  
> there was gonna be a flashback but then i thought... this chap already long... the flashback suits next chapter better anyway  
> hopefully chap 4 won't take me a week to finish owo

Peridot watched Steven force his way through the crowd and sweep up his soulmate in a tight hug. Connie smiled and patted Steven on the back, throwing a nervous glance towards an older couple that Peridot assumed were the girl’s parents. Connie’s father quickly broke up their hug. Steven, oblivious as always, animatedly talked to his soulmate.

Peridot couldn’t make out what he was saying but she could make out the way Steven was turned around towards her, waving his arms frantically, beckoning Peridot as he shouted something to her.

Peridot decided to play dumb and act as if she couldn't understand Steven's request. It didn’t work. Steven ran over to her, grabbing her hand, “Come on Peridot! I want my soulmate and my best friend to meet each other!” Steven, with his surprisingly strong grip, dragged Peridot back towards Connie’s family. As she got closer, she could make out Connie’s mom delivering a stern lecture to her daughter.  

She kneeled in front of Connie, talking to her on her level, “Listen, sweetie, just because this—” She glanced at her daughter’s wrist, squinting, “— _Steven_ kid is your soulmate, doesn’t mean we don’t have standards—” she cut herself off when she noticed Steven and Peridot approaching.

Steven seemed oblivious to the conversation he was interrupting as he introduced a girl he just met to another girl he just met, “Connie, this is my friend Peridot, it’s her first time coming to Beach City Summer Camp, too!”

Connie smiled at Peridot and held out her hand, “It’s nice to meet you, Peridot”

Peridot opened her mouth to reply as a voice shrilled from behind her, “Oh, Steven! Is that her?”

Peridot, Steven, Connie, and Connie’s parents turned to look at the woman rushing over to them. She was tall, slender, with reddish hair and a very distinct nose. She eagerly introduced herself, “I’m Pearl, one of Steven’s guardians, and co-leader for Team Pink here at BCSC.”

“Doug and Priyanka Maheswaren,” Connie’s dad replied, shaking Pearl’s hand.

“Steven!”

Again, the group’s attention turned to a man making his way over to the group.

The man stopped by Steven and put a hand on his shoulder, stopping to catch his breath, “Steven, I told you not to run off. I wanted to be here for your big moment!”

Doug and Priyanka looked less than impressed at the site of this disheveled man. “Who are you?” Doug asked.

The man, Steven’s father, Peridot assumed, straightened up and held out his hand, “I’m Greg Universe, Steven’s old man.” Peridot noticed he had significant sweat stains in the armpits of his shirt, along with a very distinct farmer’s tan.

“Pleased to meet you,” Priyanka replied in a voice that indicated she was certainly not pleased. Neither of the Maheswarens took Greg’s hand and Greg awkwardly let it drop to his side. Peridot decided it was time to bounce, thankful for the distraction caused by Greg’s… charisma.

As Peridot wandered through the dwindling crowd, she saw four women standing on a platform. Two of the women were wearing blue uniforms and the others yellow uniforms. One of the blue-uniformed women held up a megaphone, "Campers! May I please have your attention! I am Holly Blue, co-leader of Team Blue. Orientation will begin shortly, everyone head into the cafeteria and we can get started." Some campers murmured in confusion and Holly Blue spoke again, austerity slipping into her voice, "Leave your luggage out here, the staff will help you bring it to your cabins once you're sorted into your teams. Hurry up now!"

Peridot followed the flow of the crowd into the cafeteria. She scanned the room hoping to find an empty table she could isolate herself at. Fuck. She was going to have to socialize. As Peridot agonized over which table group to intrude on, someone grabbed her from behind and she shrieked, turning around and raising her hands defensively.

Her assailant snorted, “Woah, dude, chill, I’m with Steven.” The girl motioned behind her where Peridot could see Steven sitting at a table with two empty seats next to him, waving at Peridot. “He wanted you to come sit with us.”

“Oh. Uh, okay.”

“I’m Amethyst. Peridot, right?”

“Yeah,” Peridot said, looking over the girl. Amethyst was slightly shorter than Peridot, heavy set, with long hair that was dyed purple (Seriously, what was with Beach City kids and hair dye?).

Amethyst hooked Peridot’s elbow, “Well come on, then. Can’t stare at me forever. Well, you can, but that would be weird. Don’t do that,” she said as she towed Peridot to the table. Amethyst sat next to Steven and Peridot sat between Amethyst and Greg. On Steven’s opposite side was Connie and a couple other campers Peridot didn’t recognize. A huge woman with rainbow dreads. A stoic-looking boy with tinted shades. Another boy with yellow-ish white hair that looked like a dollop of whipped cream.

Peridot was pulled out of her meticulous observations by the noise of somebody obnoxiously tapping on a microphone. Pearl’s voice boomed over the sound system, “Hello? Is this thing working?” Feedback rang throughout the building and a silence fell over the cafeteria as people watched Pearl struggle with the microphone. The poor woman became increasingly flustered until a tall woman with dark shades and a strangely square-shaped afro took the stage, wordlessly putting a hand on Pearl’s shoulder and sending her off with a look.

She took the microphone, tapped it gently, and spoke, “Welcome, everybody, to Beach City Summer Camp. I’m the camp director, Garnet. This camp is aimed at helping teens, whether they just turned thirteen or just graduated high school, to spend their summers participating in safe activities that foster a healthy sense of competitiveness. Teamwork and sportsmanship are essential to succeed here. We divide campers into three teams: Yellow, Blue, and Pink. Throughout our stay at camp, the teams will compete in a series of competitions. The team with the most points at any given time will be considered the preemptive winners, and will be granted the responsibility of managing events such as our mid-summer dance. Any inappropriate behavior can result in a loss of points for your team—”

Peridot zoned out as Garnet drawled on about rules and introduced the adults in charge of each team. Pearl and Greg were in charge of Team Pink. Hessonite and Citrine for Team Yellow. Holly Blue and Morganite for Team Blue.  

“For our returning campers, you will be placed on your team from last summer. For our newcomers, when we call your name, come up to the stage. You will then spin this wheel—” Garnet gestured to a contraption that looked like it was from Wheel of Fortune, except it consisted only of yellow, blue, and pink sections. “— Whatever color you land on will be your team. Now, let’s begin: Buck Dewey.“

The stoic boy stood from the table and walked to the stage, giving Steven a high-five and a smile small as he walked by. Buck climbed the stage with an air of confidence and spun the wheel. His face was emotionless as the wheel landed on a blue section. He wasted no time in finding a table that appeared to be the established members of Team Blue.

Garnet continued, “Next: Sour Cream.”  

 _What a weird name_ , Peridot thought. Sour Cream spun a yellow sector of the wheel and, like Buck, quickly slipped off to his team’s table. Peridot’s eyes followed him and she took a moment to take in Team Yellow. Or, rather, it took a moment for her attention to be grabbed by the blue-haired girl sitting at Team Yellow’s table. The same girl she had seen at Beach City High. Peridot elbowed Amethyst, “Hey, who’s that girl at Team Yellow’s table? The one with blue hair?”

Peridot could see the cogs turning in Amethyst’s brain. Amethyst first looked confused, then conflicted, then she wore a very fake bored expression, “Oh, just some girl from Beach City.”

“Do you know her? Or her name at least?” Peridot pressed.

Amethyst frowned, “Why are you so curious?”

Peridot felt a bit attacked by that question. Why _was_ she curious? No, a better question: Why did Amethyst think she had the right to make Peridot question herself? “I saw her when I went to register at the high school. She talked to me. Well, sort of.”

Realizing Peridot wasn’t going to back down, Amethyst sighed, visibly deflating, “That’s Lapis Lazuli.”

Peridot was not satisfied with that answer. “What do you know about her?”

Amethyst made a face that said she knew _a lot_ about Lapis Lazuli. “Nothing,” she said, her eyes shifting nervously.

“It doesn’t _sound_ like nothing,” Peridot remarked. “Come on, I’m just some nerd with no friends, I can keep a secret.”

Amethyst sighed again. “It’s not really my place to talk about it.”

Peridot’s shoulders slumped.

“It was a couple years ago…” Amethyst continued, shocking Peridot out of her dejection. “Lapis had a… bad home life. Me, Steven, Pearl and Garnet, we’re all sort of like a family. We all knew Steven’s mom so when she—" Amethyst coughed, “We all sort of just stuck together. Well, then Steven met Lapis, and he wanted to help her. He thought our family was what she needed, and none of us can say no to Steven,” she smiled wryly. “So I guess we adopted her, unofficially. That’s how she got introduced to the camp.”

“And?” Peridot urged when it seemed Amethyst wouldn’t continue.

She sighed again. “Lapis started staying out all night. It wasn’t very often, at first. But then she started dating Jasper…”

“Jasper?” Peridot questioned, the name ringing a bell somewhere in her mind.

“Yeah, that big buff girl sitting next to her, with the bleached hair. Jasper was a really bad influence on Lapis. It started to take a toll on Steven, worrying about Lapis every time she came home ridiculously late or hungover the next day. When we tried to talk to her, she wouldn’t have any of it. She just packed up and left. It would have been like she never existed if we didn’t still see her in school.” Amethyst scowled, “And we saw her in school a lot after she failed her first senior year. She just managed to graduate. She’s lucky her birthday is in the fall, or she wouldn’t have been allowed to come to camp another year.”

Peridot caught herself staring at Lapis throughout Amethyst’s story. Lapis felt eyes on her and she met Peridot’s gaze, the latter quickly looking away to pretend she hadn’t been gawking like a creep. Lapis pursed her lips.

Garnet’s voice worked its way back into Peridot’s conscious perception. How long had she been ignoring the sorting ritual? “And our last new camper: Peridot Greene.”

_Shit._

Peridot quickly stood from the table and made her way to the stage. Garnet looked down at her and nodded encouragingly towards the wheel. Peridot took a deep breath as she gave it a spin. The wheel slowed and looked as if it would stop on pink, but there was just enough residual force to push the wheel onto a yellow sector.

Peridot was on Team Yellow. She looked at Steven’s table, noticing the disappointed looks on everyone’s faces as they realized Peridot wouldn’t be with them. Peridot echoed their disappointment. She spared a glance at the yellow team’s table, and felt her meager confidence crumbling under the scrutinizing looks. Particularly the looks she was getting from Jasper and Lapis. Peridot’s eyes met Lapis’s again, but this time neither looked away. Peridot’s face burned as Lapis smiled at her, teasingly. That smile taunted Peridot.

Garnet seemed oblivious to the exchange going on, “Well, that concludes the sorting ceremony. The teams will be escorted to their cabins, now.” Campers began to rise from their seats and the cafeteria was filled with conversations once more.

“Uh, Garnet?” Peridot asked, voice shaking as she tried to remain calm.

Garnet turned to Peridot, “Yes?”

“What if I, uhm, don’t want to be on the yellow team?”

Garnet looked at Peridot blankly and the room went silent, more so than the first time, Peridot believed. Somebody dropped a fork and the noise echoed throughout the cafeteria. A few whispers bubbled up from the tables as Peridot’s request registered among the campers.

Garnet smiled, “What team would you rather be on?” she asked patiently.

Peridot swallowed, stealing another glance at Lapis, who was grinning madly with her arms crossed over her chest. “The pink team. That’s where my friends are—” Steven squealed happily from across the cafeteria, “If that’s alright?”

The camp director nodded. “Alright, Peridot, you can be on Team Pink. It makes the numbers fairer, anyway.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I met a boy named jasper at a party and he was a wannabe stoner


	4. Malachite Kicks Everybody's Ass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "hurr durr the next chapter wont take a week" said the lazy college student, as he takes 10 days to write the next chapter 
> 
> still not as bad as CN's hiatuses

Peridot exhaled a sigh of relief as she stepped down from the stage. Once her shoes touched the ground, Amethyst was on her.

“Yo, P-dot! That was so ballsy! You’re gonna fit in perfectly with us,” Amethyst commended, roughly pulling Peridot into a noogie.

“Amethyst!” Peridot complained, wrenching out of the purple-haired girl’s grip.

“Alright, you two,” Pearl said, walking up behind them, “That’s enough horsing around. We need to take our things to the cabin.” 

The Pink Team’s cabin was located on the far north side of the camp, a short walk from the cafeteria. However, Peridot quickly concluded that “cabin” did not accurately describe her new team’s base of operations. The large, rustic building consisted of a large central room, complete with a living area and small kitchen. Peridot cynically wondered why they would need a kitchen if there was already a cafeteria.

Peridot stood in the doorway, awestruck at the ridiculously luxurious building. How was this summer camp free?

“Come on now, don’t hold up traffic,” Greg said, pushing his way past Peridot and disappearing into one of the bedrooms, Steven trailing behind him carrying twice as much luggage as his dad. What did Greg feed that kid? 

The rest of Team Pink filed into the main room of the cabin, the few boys on the team all going to the room on the left. Peridot shifted her bag on her shoulder and went into the room on the right side.

The bedroom, like the rest of the cabin, was huge. Three bunk beds were distributed throughout the room. Peridot felt a familiar dread threatening to break her cold demeanor as she realized all the bottom bunks had been claimed. Amethyst, the blonde girl, and the rainbow-haired girl had been fast enough to get bottom bunks. Connie threw her bag on the bed above the blonde girl’s, and Pearl begrudgingly followed suit with the bed above rainbow girl’s.

“Hey P! Get over here!” Amethyst called from the farthest bunk, patting the mattress above hers, “I saved the best one for ya.”

“Wow, thanks,” Peridot responded sardonically. Climbing the bunk was going to be the bane of her existence. She set her bag on the floor beside the bed, inspecting the ladder she would have to use at least twice a day for the rest of the summer. It _looked_ sturdy enough, at least.

In the distance, the sound of a horn blaring could be heard.

Pearl squealed, “Oh, that’s the signal for the first event! Come on, Team Pink, let’s go have some fun!”

 

* * *

 

“Now, let’s try an example problem. Can anybody tell me what 270 degrees would be in radians?”

A silence fell over the class. Lapis sighed. Didn’t this teacher realize he was teaching the idiots of the school? None of them could do a math problem to save their life. Especially not some shit about radiuses and circle units or whatever he had been lecturing them about for the past half hour. Really, whoever thought it was a good idea to have math classes during last period was a fucking dip.

“Nobody wants to give it a try?” Silence. “Come on, the worst that can happen is you’ll be wrong, and people are wrong most of the time in math,” the teacher jested.

Lapis felt her phone buzz in her pocket, and she sneakily pulled it out to check.

_Jasper: im ditching if u wanna come with_

A new message popped up as she was reading.

_Jasper: some Keystone kids throwing a party tonite sounds like itll be lit_

Lapis raised her hand. She had to hold back a smirk when Mr. Barry’s eyes lit up.

“Ah, yes, Lapis! Thanks for volunteering. Can you tell the class what 270 degrees is converted to radians?”

“No. Can I go to the bathroom?” Lapis asked. A hushed laughter spread throughout the class.

He sighed, “Please be quick.”

Lapis picked up her backpack and notebook and got the hell out of that class. As she hustled by Mr. Barry, he gave her a look of utmost disappointment. Nobody takes their backpack and book to the bathroom and he certainly wasn’t a moron. Nevertheless, he made no move to stop Lapis from blatantly skipping class.

Once she was out the door and out of sight, Lapis took out her phone and texted Jasper back.

_Lapis: sure omw now_

When she made it to Jasper’s car she was unsurprised to see her girlfriend already waiting with the engine running. Lapis climbed into the passenger seat and tried not to make a face when the smell of Jasper’s cigarette hit her nose. “So, where’s this party?”

Jasper hummed affirmatively. “Outside some small town called Rockford. Do you need to stop at your house for anything?”

Lapis frowned, “That’s a dumb question.”

Her girlfriend simply shrugged and put the car in gear. “Mind looking up directions to this place?” she asked, handing Lapis a slip of paper and her iPhone as they pulled out of the parking lot.

Lapis quickly entered the location into Google Maps and handed Jasper’s phone back to her. She turned on the radio and cranked the volume as high as it could go. “Hello” was playing. “This is my jam!” Lapis exclaimed sarcastically as she began belting out the lyrics along with Adelle.

Jasper tried to hide her grin. She loved when Lapis’s silly side came out.

“Come on, Jasper, harmonize with me!”

“You know I don’t sing, Lapis.”

After a few more songs, Jasper’s resolve cracked and she found herself singing along to “Heathens” with her girlfriend, their hands clasped and resting on the console between them.

They laughed and sang along to the radio long after the sun set, even as it began to storm profusely. Eventually, they realized they were hopelessly lost, having gone more than an hour’s drive past where the party was being held. As mad as she wanted to be about wasting an afternoon, evening, and half a tank of gas, Jasper couldn’t bring herself to be angry with Lapis for entering the wrong address.

 

* * *

 

Pearl and Greg led the pink team back to the cafeteria, which had been emptied of its tables and chairs to create a large, vacant space. The other teams had already arrived and the campers mulled about waiting to hear what the first activity would be. After a few minutes of waiting, Garnet took the stage much like she had earlier.

“I’m sure you’re all excited to get started with the first event. However, we’re on limited time today, so this will be a simple game,” she held up a tangled mess of multicolored straps, “We’re going to play flag tag.”

Some kids in the crowd groaned. Others high-fived.

“This is a game that requires both teamwork and individual skill. Each player gets two flags. The objective is to chase players from other teams and take their flags. When you lose both your flags, you’re out. Last one standing wins ten points for their team. Play nice, don’t be too aggressive. Now, if the team leaders would come up and get the belts and flags for their teams, so we don’t have complete chaos.”

As the six leaders went to gather supplies for their teams, the room erupted into conversation as campers either complained or strategized.

Steven grabbed Peridot’s hand and tugged her over to where he, Amethyst, and Connie were congregating. “Come on, Peri, we’re going to group up!”

Connie spoke up, “If we stay close together, we can be protected from all sides. We can switch to an offensive strategy once most of the competition is out.”

Amethyst snorted, “Strategy is for nerds. As soon as the game starts that plan will be out the window.”

Amethyst’s prediction quickly came to fruition. After everyone had donned their belts and colored flags, with the older team leaders opting to watch from the sidelines rather than participate, Garnet blew the starting whistle and chaos ensued.

Peridot was stunned at how quickly the other campers took to chasing each other and wrestling to snatch any flag that wasn’t their own color. She noticed Sour Cream eyeing her through the crowd, and her heart began to race as he ran towards her.

 _Shit shit shit shit shit_ Peridot thought frantically, taking a stance and extending her arms to protect her flags. Sour Cream mirrored her stance and the two circled each other, looking for an opening. He lunged at Peridot who barely managed to hop out of the way. She couldn’t hold back a maniacal laugh as he plummeted to the floor. Peridot quickly reached down and snatched both of the poor guy’s yellow flags and tossed them to the side.

He rolled over and grinned up at Peridot, “Not bad.”

Peridot smiled back, extending her hand to help him up, “Thanks.”

Rather than take her hand, he pointed behind her, “Watch out!”

Peridot spun around a moment too late, as she felt a tug on her belt. A short girl who looked like she could be Amethyst’s sister waved a pink flag at Peridot smugly. Said smugness was short-lived, however, as Lapis took advantage of the girl’s distraction to sneak up and snatch her last blue flag.

Lapis turned her attention to Peridot, who made the wise decision to bolt from the blue-haired girl. Peridot quickly scanned the room for her teammates. Maybe Connie and Steven’s strategy wasn’t such a bad idea. Anything to get Peridot away from the carnage that was happening in the corner of the room where she had just been. She spotted Amethyst across the cafeteria, laughing and chasing a short, Team Blue girl with square-shaped curly hair that reminded Peridot of Garnet.

The girl turned around to face Amethyst and Peridot saw a perfect opportunity. While Amethyst was busy facing off with the girl, Peridot made a mad dash to grab the girl’s final flag. Just as Peridot’s fingers grazed the blue flag she tripped and found herself falling into the girl, who in turn fell into Amethyst, knocking the three of them into a pile on the ground.

“Get off me!” the red-haired girl shrilled, squirming out of the dog pile, which just left Peridot and Amethyst on the floor.

“Uh, Peridot? Mind getting off me?” Amethyst asked. Peridot reeled back so she was kneeling as Amethyst sat up and rubbed the back of her head, grimacing. Peridot noticed Amethyst had managed to grab the girl's blue flag despite Peridot's mishap.

“It was an accident! I swear!” Peridot sputtered, “I wanted to get her flag while you were distracting—” a familiar tug on Peridot’s waist interrupted her rambling. She whipped her head around to see none other than Lapis Lazuli, standing over her, waving a pink flag in her face triumphantly.

Peridot harrumphed and walked to the edge of the room where the rest of the pink team, save for Amethyst, was watching the rest of the game play out.

Steven said, “You did so good out there, Peridot! You and Amethyst made it to the last five!”

“Oh?” Peridot replied, “I wasn’t paying attention to the numbers.” She was a bit shocked that she had gotten so caught up in a dumb elementary-level game.

The familiar sound of a whistle rang throughout the cafeteria. “Team Yellow wins the first event!” Garnet announced.

Peridot spun around in shock. Amethyst hadn’t lasted long, apparently. Peridot quickly realized why, as Lapis, Jasper, and a young boy, Onion, if Peridot remembered correctly, stood together celebrating their win in the middle of the empty cafeteria. It would have been impossible for anyone to take on those three (specifically, Jasper and Lapis) single-handedly. Pink, blue, and a few yellow flags littered the floor of the cafeteria. The campers filed out of the building to return to their cabins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> writing jaspis fluff makes me feel dirty but it's necessary and i promise it'll be short-lived


	5. Pokerface

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter in which Steven is both a saint and a savage

Peridot laid in her bed, her attempts at napping for naught thanks to her rowdy teammates. Their voices carried from the living room, pulling Peridot from unconsciousness each time she would begin to slip away. It had been a long day and Peridot wanted nothing more than to hit the metaphorical reset button, but she begrudgingly accepted that she would be awake for a few more hours. Might as well see what all the fuss was about. She threw her legs over her bed, squinting at the floor below her. It didn’t _look_ that far. Peridot hopped down and cursed silently as the force traveled up her legs, making her knee and prosthetic joint buckle. She made a mental note not to do that while anyone else was in the bedroom as she picked herself up off the floor.

Peridot made her way to the doorway and surveyed the living room. Steven, Amethyst, and some other members of their team were seated on the floor around the coffee table, seemingly playing a game of cards. Amethyst spoke up, “Bismuth, got any sevens?”

The rainbow-haired girl smirked, “Go fish!”

Amethyst growled and took a card from the stack on the table.

“Peridot!” Steven called, “Come play Go Fish with us!”

“I don’t know how…” Peridot said, walking over to the table.

Amethyst grabbed Peridot’s hand and yanked her down between herself and Steven, “Well, we’ll teach you! ‘Sides, the whole point of coming back to the cabin was for team bonding, not holing up in your bed. Pearl and Greg are fixing supper for us. Steven, get the girl some cards!”

Steven complied and picked up a hand of cards from the pile, passing them to Peridot, “How about I help you this game? You don’t want Amethyst to help you, she’ll cheat if she knows your hand.”

Amethyst scoffed indignantly but had nothing to say to that.

“Uh, alright,” Peridot replied, scooting closer to Steven and making sure Amethyst couldn’t see her cards. She fanned them out so she and Steven could see. Peridot had been dealt two fives, a seven, an eight, and a king.

Steven pointed at the two fives, “So, what you do is, when it’s your turn, you ask another player if they have one of these numbers, and when you get four of a kind you put them down. If the player doesn’t have the card you ask for, then you draw one from the deck and it becomes the next person’s turn.”

“Okay, I think I get it.”

Amethyst nudged Peridot, “Your turn, then.”

Peridot noticed Amethyst trying to side-eye her hand, and she turned her cards away so they were facing away from Amethyst the Professional Cheater. “Amethyst, got any sevens?”

Amethyst’s jaw dropped and she looked like she was about to kill Peridot. She slowly took three cards from her hand and passed them to Peridot, who smirked and set down her four-of-a-kind.

Everyone at the table, save for Amethyst, laughed, “Okay, go again, Peridot,” Steven said.

Peridot scrutinized the other players. _What was the blonde girl’s name again? Sadie?_ “Sadie, got any fives?”

Sadie grinned, “Go fish!”

Peridot shrugged and drew a card from the deck, a queen this time.

Steven’s turn was next, “Lars, got any queens?” Steven was a real champ to not ask Peridot; he could clearly see she had the card he requested. Lars told Steven to go fishing.

 _No good deed goes unpunished,_ Peridot thought smugly.

The game proceeded uneventfully, with Bismuth scoring Peridot’s five and Connie asking Steven for the kings he didn’t have. Peridot held her cards up to her nose, not noticing the sleeve of her hoodie slipping down her wrist. Amethyst was about to take her next turn when Steven gasped and grabbed Peridot’s wrist.

_Oh no…_

“Peri! I thought you didn’t have a soulmate!” Steven practically yelled.

All eyes were on Peridot. She wanted to cave in on herself. “Steven, wait—” Peridot tugged on her arm but it was too late.

As Steven glimpsed the ridiculously short amount of time, his eyes lit up. Then, he noticed the lifelessness of the unchanging numbers, and his expression morphed to pure heartbreak. He dropped Peridot’s hand, “Oh, Peridot… I didn’t realize...”

Amethyst had watched this whole exchange unfold and, being the nosy person she was, copied Steven and grabbed Peridot’s wrist to inspect the timer, “Woah, I’ve never seen one like that…” Amethyst looked up and met Peridot’s glaring eyes, quickly releasing her arm in embarrassment. “So, your soulmate is...?”

Peridot wanted to change the topic immediately, “My soulmate didn’t die. I did.” She hoped, in vain, to leave it at that, but the curious stares from her team broke Peridot’s resolve. “I was in a… bad motorcycle accident. But I guess I was salvageable. That’s modern medicine for you, I guess.”

Steven pressed, “But, your soulmate? Does that mean _they_ think _you’re_ …” he let the sentence trail off, not wanting to say the word everyone was thinking.

“Probably,” Peridot grumbled in reply. An uncomfortable silence fell over the room, only to be broken by Amethyst’s frank response.

“That’s rough, Peridot, but, you know, timers are so fickle anyway. Heh, I don’t even have one.”

“Timer stuff is tricky,” Steven agreed, putting a hand on Peridot’s shoulder, “My mom was Pearl’s soulmate, but then Mom fell in love with my dad, and neither of them had timers. And now Amethyst is in love with Pearl!”

Amethyst blushed, “What? Am not! She’s like forty!” 

Pearl cleared her throat from across the room, “Thirty-four, thank you very much.”

Bismuth leaned forward, “A motorcycle, huh? I didn’t take you for an adrenaline junky, Tiny. What kinda bike was it? If you don’t mind me asking, that is.”

It had been a long time since Peridot had been in the company of another motorcycle enthusiast, and she had to pause for a second, a bit shocked that she couldn’t immediately remember what kind of bike she had. It used to be her pride and joy… “Oh! It was, uh, Honda CB300F.” Peridot sighed longingly, “She was a beauty…” While Peridot's mind wandered nostalgically, Bismuth smiled and nodded, wordlessly sharing Peridot's sentiment. 

“No offense, P, but I can’t imagine you on a motorcycle. You’re such a… nerd.”

Peridot snickered, “I used to be pretty wild, Amethyst.” _Used to be_.

“Sorry to break up the convo, but the pizza's done!” Greg announced, carrying two large platters to the coffee table, setting them on top of the cards. Pearl followed close behind him, carrying another pizza with every topping imaginable.

“Two for all of us to share and one for Amethyst!” Pearl added, grinning at what Peridot initially took as a joke.

Pearl set the pizza in front of Amethyst who beamed madly, “You know me so well, Pearl.” Amethyst dug into the supreme-and-then-some pizza and Peridot realized with slight horror that it was not, in fact, a joke. Nevertheless, the group helped themselves to the other two pizzas, a comfortable silence falling over Team Pink, the card game and Peridot's timer forgotten.


	6. The Strongest Battle Formation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The calm before the storm...
> 
> tw drug use, some sexual stuff, religious debate, and violence ig

Peridot felt herself being pulled out of sleep by the familiar sound of a horn blaring. “Ugh,” she groaned, rolling over and putting her pillow over her ear to muffle the noise. “Five more minutes…”

Suddenly, the bed started shaking. Peridot screamed. “Come on, come on, come on! Wake up, Peridot!” Amethyst’s voice called up to her.

Peridot sat up, “Stars, okay, I’m up!” She glared down at a frantic Amethyst.

“Dude come _on!_ Everybody’s gone already, we slept in, we need to go _now!”_

Peridot groggily thought back to what Pearl said yesterday about the horn…

_“Oh, that’s the signal for the first event!”_

“Uhm, give me one second!” Peridot said, throwing the blanket over herself. She had taken off her prosthetic last night once she was under her blanket and certain nobody would notice. She felt around the bed for her prosthetic and tried not to fumble as she put it on. Peridot even made sure to sleep in her clothes for today, just to avoid anybody seeing her leg. The last thing she needed was more pity.

Amethyst groaned, “Geeze, what are you doing? Putting on your underwear? Let’s GO!”

Peridot threw the blanket off herself, shimmying down the ladder as quickly as she could without slipping. She left her hoodie hanging on the bedpost. It’s not like she had to hide her timer, now, anyways. Peridot followed Amethyst out of the cabin, across the camp, and into the cafeteria. Peridot spotted their team gathered together at one of the tables and went to join them, but instead felt Amethyst’s arm hook around her elbow and drag her in the opposite direction.

“Amethyst—” she protested.

“We need to get _breakfast_ , dude! The most important meal of the day!”

“I thought the horn was for the events?” Peridot inquired.

“No, it means ‘get your ass to the cafeteria’” Amethyst replied, grabbing a plate and loading it up with food from the counter.

“Ugh, how do you have room for all that? Didn’t you eat a whole pizza last night?”

“Hey, being cool takes a lot of calories.” Amethyst snarked back playfully.

They took their plates back to the pink team’s table and sat between Connie and Bismuth. “I’m telling you guys, it’s gonna be an obstacle course. It just makes sense.” Bismuth insisted.

Lars laughed, “An obstacle course? No way. It wouldn’t be anything that lame after yesterday’s ‘competition.’ I bet it’ll be paintball.”

The team continued to light-heartedly bicker back and forth about what the competition for today would be. Peridot wondered if Pearl and Greg knew. They both sat silently, tight-lipped with small smiles. They definitely knew. Peridot didn’t really care, she was currently preoccupied with her scrambled eggs.

Connie elbowed Peridot gently, “Hey, I think Jasper is looking at you.”

“What?” Peridot turned around, meeting Jasper’s scrutinizing hazel gaze. Peridot smiled and gave a small wave, to which Jasper sneered and looked away. _Wow, okay, bitch._ Lapis, who was sitting next to Jasper, seemed to sense Peridot’s eyes and looked at her. Peridot felt her face heat up and she quickly turned away. “They’re probably just bitter I’m not on their team.”

After everyone finished their breakfast, the team leaders escorted their respective teams outside the cafeteria, where Garnet was waiting. “Good morning, campers,” Garnet said, “Today’s event is a relay race and obstacle course.” Bismuth beamed proudly while Lars sulked. “It’s a two-mile hike, so stick with your team, we don’t want anybody getting lost in the woods.” Peridot, and a few other campers, groaned. Of _course_ they had to hike there. Garnet spun around on her heels and began marching down a path into the trees, the campers trailing behind her.

Peridot managed to zone out during most of the hike, with Steven and Amethyst’s jokes filling in the gaps where she was mentally present. Amethyst snickered, “Hey, hey, Steven. Steven, hey,”

“What, Amethyst?”

“How do you keep your sleeping bag from getting stretched out?”

Steven was silent.

“Don’t sleep in it too long.”

Steven smirked, “Amethyst, your camping jokes aren’t very… in-tents.”

Peridot blocked out the rest of the hike after that.

After what felt like a short eternity, they came upon an apparent obstacle course. The first thing Peridot noticed was the 30-foot climbing wall on the far side of the course. _That can’t be safe._ In front of the wall were some hurdles, preceded by a haphazard pool that looked as if it had been dug out by a backhoe earlier that day. Then a set of tightropes, set a few feet off the ground, and finally, three track lanes that made their way to where the campers were gathered.

Garnet made her way to the front of the group and turned to face everyone, “Today’s competition will be an obstacle course slash relay race.” Bismuth punched Lars in the shoulder. “Each team will get one satchel,” Garnet held up a flimsy brown bag, “The first leg of the course will be collecting the painted rocks on the ground.” Everybody looked to where Garnet was standing, colorful, fist-sized rocks scattered about the ground. “Once you have at least five rocks, the satchel gets passed to the next stage of the course: a 3-legged race.” At this, the campers let out a unanimous groan. “From there, the satchel will go to the tightrope, and the next person will swim the satchel across the pool. Then, the satchel goes to the hurdles, and finally the climbing wall. At the top of the wall is a flag. Two teams can win points in this event: fifteen to whichever team retrieves the flag, and ten to whichever completes the course with the most rocks in their satchel. Twenty-five points if one team does both.”

At that, the campers erupted into conversation. “I call the tightrope!” Connie proclaimed.

Steven hopped up and down excitably, “And I want to do the swim!”

Pearl smiled, “Only if the rest of the team is okay with that,” she looked to Pearl, Amethyst, Bismuth, Lars, and Sadie. They all shrugged indifferently. Pearl pulled a handful of paper scraps from her pocket, “Alright, then, everybody else can draw to decide which obstacle they’ll do.” She cupped her hands and held out the scraps of paper. Amethyst drew the hurdles and tried to hide her dissatisfaction. Bismuth was less able to conceal her disappointment at drawing _rock collector_ , though Sadie smiled optimistically at Lars when they both got the three-legged race. Which left Peridot with the climbing wall. _Fuck_ , she thought.

“Uh, guys, I don’t think I should—” Peridot began, being cut off by Amethyst slapping her on the back.

“No take-backsies! If I gotta do hurdles on my short legs you gotta climb that wall!”

Bismuth smiled encouragingly at Peridot, “Yeah, you’re probably the best suited out of us all, anyway.” Peridot sighed in defeat. Hopefully her team liked to lose.  

Everybody took their places at their respective obstacles. Peridot watched from her spot below the climbing wall as Jasper, Amethyst and Buck lined up in front of the hurdles. Jasper was eyeing Amethyst like a piece of fresh meat and Peridot couldn’t help but feel the utmost sympathy for her, which quickly turned to self-pity as Lapis took her place by the wall next to her. Peridot’s stomach twisted nervously. _It had to be her? Of all the people on Team Yellow, it had to be Lapis fucking Lazuli?_

As if she were a mind reader, Lapis met Peridot’s gaze. Peridot forced a good-natured smile and a small wave. Lapis set her jaw and looked away. _Damn, fuck you, too._

Garnet blew her whistle, starting the race. Bismuth, Zircon, and Holly Blue scrambled to fill their satchels. Holly was the first to get the required number of rocks, quickly followed by Bismuth. Zircon, on the other hand, stuffed the yellow team’s bag full of rocks, apparently gunning for the extra ten points.

Lars and Sadie tripped every other step they took, allowing Sour Cream and Onion to pass them. Connie managed to put the pink team back in second when she overtook Kiki on the tightrope, but it was short lived when Topaz easily beat Steven in the swimming. The blue team was quite a bit ahead of the others, and Buck started the hurdles while Jasper and Amethyst stood nervously shifting on their heels. Fortunately for Team Yellow and Pink, Buck couldn’t seem to care less about the race and he walked through the hurdles, diligently stepping over them. His teammates watched from the sidelines, some of them ripping out chunks of their hair in frustration.

By the time Buck had done two of the ten hurdles, Jasper had gotten her team’s stuffed satchel and was dominating the hurdles with terrifying efficiency. Peridot wondered if Jasper took steroids. Jasper finished her leg of the race quickly and roughly threw the satchel over Lapis’s shoulder, ignoring her girlfriend’s outstretched hand. “Go!” Jasper growled, shoving Lapis towards the wall. Lapis glared at her girlfriend but obeyed and started up the wall.

Amethyst was about halfway through the hurdles when she tripped and hit the ground roughly. She looked up and saw Lapis starting up the wall, and for a second looked as if she was going to give up and remain on the ground.

Peridot wasn’t having any of that. “Come on, Amethyst! No take-backsies! You can do it!” From the sidelines, the other members of the pink team shouted encouragement at Amethyst. Above Peridot, Lapis was struggling up the wall at a snail’s pace while Jasper barked harshly at her to hurry up. _Shouldn’t have grabbed so many rocks,_ Peridot thought smugly.

Amethyst pulled herself up and, reinvigorated by her team’s encouragement, quickly finished the rest of the hurdles. She slung the satchel over Peridot’s shoulder and slapped her on the back, “You got this, Dot!”

Peridot smiled and turned to face the wall before her. It looked a _lot_ taller than it had before the race, but, Peridot told herself, if a shortie could do hurdles, an amputee could climb a wall. Peridot took a deep breath and started up the daunting obstacle, praying that she wouldn’t fall. That shit would hurt.

Much to Peridot’s surprise, she hauled herself up each foot of the wall with relative ease. Team Pink’s satchel, unlike Yellow’s, wasn’t weighted down with an exorbitant amount of rocks. And, unlike Lapis, Peridot wasn’t weighted down by four limbs. Though she had to be diligent each time she placed her left foot, Peridot found that her leg was more of an advantage than not. Just like that, Peridot found herself shimmying up the wall past Lapis, and finally over the edge to the platform where she was greeted by the site of a moderately sized trophy. She spared a second to look down and behind her. Buck was just finishing the hurdles and handing his satchel to an aggravated Jenny, who stood waiting beside an equally aggravated Jasper.

Just a foot or so below the top of the wall, Lapis was struggling to finish the climb. Peridot was about to turn and grab the trophy when one of Lapis’s hands slipped, and she let out a small shriek as she frantically grabbed a foothold closer to her to prevent a fall. ‘Cause that shit would hurt. Without thinking, Peridot found herself kneeling and reaching out her hand to her rival.

Lapis looked at Peridot’s hand in confusion and Peridot blanched as Lapis’s eyes fixated on her timer. She resisted the urge to yank her hand back indignantly, “Do you want help or not?”

 

* * *

 

 

The blaring of Steven’s alarm clock pulled Lapis from her unconscious into the waking world. She groaned and rolled over on the couch, covering her head with a pillow. Steven’s loud footsteps bound down the stairs until Lapis felt him shaking her shoulder.

“Lapis! Get up, it’s the first day of school!”

She rolled over to face him, rubbing the sleep from her eyes, “Alright, alright, I’m up.”

Steven disappeared into the back of the house where Pearl, Garnet, and Amethyst’s rooms were located. Lapis could hear him yelling at Amethyst to get up. She sighed and sat up on the sofa which had been her home for three years now. Steven might wake her up earlier than she’d like every day, but she couldn’t bring herself to be remotely annoyed at the boy who took her off the streets. She absentmindedly opened snapchat to do her morning snapstreaks. A moment after she sent the snap, Jasper’s name popped up at the top of her chats with a typing bitmoji animation. Lapis opened the chat and waited.

_Jasper: Wanna blaze before school?_

_Lapis: ofc_

_Jasper: be there in a few_

The promise of marijuana got Lapis’s blood pumping and she hopped out of “bed”, grabbed her vape off the coffee table, forgoing her shoes and going out to wait on the steps. She took some pulls of the flavored vape juice, enjoying the peaceful Beach City morning. Birds sang in the trees and a few insects buzzed about lazily.

A few minutes passed before Jasper’s familiar car pulled into the driveway. Lapis got into the passenger side and inhaled deeply as the dank hit her sense-sponge. “Smells good,” she commented.

“Feels good, too,” Jasper replied, exhaling smoke with each word as she handed the glass pipe to Lapis.

Lapis hit the pipe, the thick, dank smoking setting off a coughing fit. “So, Suicide Squad is playing tonight. Do you wanna go with me?” she asked, passing the glass piece back to Jasper.

“Sure, I’ll go,” Jasper said, flicking the lighter and taking another hit.

They continued to smoke in comfortable silence. Eventually the drugs ran out and Lapis gave Jasper a quick peck on the cheek, smiling when her girlfriend’s face turned red. “I’ll see you later,” she said, getting out of the vehicle. She heard Jasper say a quiet “bye” before she closed the door.

Back in Casa de Crystal Gems, the smell of bacon and French toast filled the house. Steven and Amethyst were seated at the counter engaged in a heated debate. Lapis sat down next to Steven and caught the tail end of the conversation.

“I don’t get why he’d make our sun one day and the rest of the stars later on. Isn’t the sun a star, too?” Steven said.

Amethyst looked at him quizzically, “The sun is a sun, dude.”

Steven mirrored Amethyst’s expression. “It’s a star.”

“Then why is it called a sun, Steve-O?” Amethyst quipped back.

Lapis cut in, “Because the bible was written by dumbasses who still hit rocks together for warmth.”

Amethyst and Steven looked at her in surprise. Amethyst spoke up, “Well, now we know who’s been turning Steven into an atheist.”

Lapis shrugged, looking at a spot on the counter, “Religion isn’t inherently good.” Amethyst cringed and Steven looked at Lapis with knowing concern.

“Alright, kids!” Pearl interrupted, breaking the tension, “This is breakfast, not Creationism 101.”

While Pearl dished out the food, Lapis felt the marijuana catching up to her. She could hear light bulbs and felt like she was wearing 3D glasses. Garnet materialized from her room and took the seat across from Lapis, pursing her lips into a tight frown when they made eye contact. Lapis made a mental note to stock up on Visine.

“So, is everyone excited for the first day of school?” Pearl asked chipperly.

“Yeah!” Steven said.

“I guess,” Amethyst said.

“I’m not going,” Lapis said, head spinning with THC. She felt all eight eyes of her foster family on her, “I’ll go tomorrow. Nothing ever happens the first day.”

Pearl scoffed, “It’s your senior year, Lapis, you are not missing the first day.”

Lapis rubbed her temple, “I already said I’ll go tomorrow.”

Garnet sipped her coffee, “She doesn’t listen. Look at her, she’s probably high.”

Amethyst audibly sniffed, “She’s definitely high.”

Pearl looked horrified, “I don’t want you going to school high, Lapis!”

Lapis stood up and started to the bathroom, “Perfect! So, I won’t go, thanks, Pearl!”  

 

* * *

 

 

Jasper felt like practice would never end. They’d been working on the same exercises and drills since school got out and the tediousness of it all was mind numbing. She was running on pure frustration thanks to her girlfriend ditching school without telling her. She had half a mind to call Lapis and tell her one, to fuck herself, and two, have fun at the movies alone.

The coach’s whistle snapped Jasper out of her thoughts, sending her charging forward into one of her teammates, shoving viciously in a battle for yards. In the corner of her eye, Jasper saw the football pass hands and another boy began to run it in her direction. She managed to shove off the player she’d been grappling with and took off after the ball, smashing the runner into the dirt in a particularly aggressive tackle. She couldn’t help but feel pleased with herself when the boy groaned in pain and didn’t get up.

“Woo! Go Jasper!” one of the cheerleaders yelled from the sidelines. Jasper waved, smiling.  

The boy was still laying on the ground and the coach rushed over, kneeling beside him to assess the injuries. He barked at Jasper, “Get your ass to the locker room! I’m sick of your attitude today, save the brutality for a real fuckin’ game!”

Jasper huffed and stomped off the field to the girl’s locker room. As she was changing out of her uniform she heard a knock and a familiar voice.

“Looks like I missed a good sack,” Lapis joked.

“Missed school, too,” Jasper grumbled.

Lapis smiled sheepishly, watching Jasper put her shirt on. “Yeah… sorry about that. You ready to go to the movies?”

“Afraid I’ll have to bail on you, too. Coach is gonna chew my ass all night.”

Lapis frowned, shoulders slumping. “Oh. Okay.” She stepped closer to Jasper, standing on her tip toes to give her a chaste kiss, “I’ll see you tomorrow, sorry about today.”

Jasper forced a terse smile and watched Lapis leave. She let out a heavy sigh, turning back to her duffel bag and stuffing her pads and jersey inside.

Another pair of footsteps entered the locker room. Just as Jasper was about to snap at the intruder, they spoke up, “You did so good out there, Jasper.”

Jasper turned around and saw it was the same girl who had been cheering for her when she tackled her teammate. “Oh,” Jasper said, “That? That was nothing, really.”

She scoffed, leaning against the wall, “Well, it certainly didn’t look like nothing. You’re so much stronger than all those boys.”

Jasper couldn’t hold back a small smile at the praise. She rolled up the sleeve of her shirt and flexed her bicep at the girl, “I try.”

The cheerleader walked up to Jasper and started petting her arm, “Oh, wow,” she gushed, “It’s so… firm.” She looked up, meeting Jasper’s eyes. Neither of them was sure who leaned in first, but they found themselves sharing a passionate kiss. The girl pushed Jasper back onto the locker room bench, Jasper reciprocating the gesture by pulling the girl onto her lap…

 

* * *

 

 

Lapis waited by the climbing wall, thinking back to Jasper’s strategy from when they had their team huddle: _Get the most rocks. Beat Everybody._ And, Jasper told Lapis specifically, _Peridot has a limp, exploit it._ Lapis thought it was a dirty strategy, but that just meant it was more likely to work.

All seemed to be going in the Yellow Team’s favor. Jasper easily put their team in the lead when she completed the hurdles at record speed. Lapis held out her hand for Jasper to pass the satchel to her, but Jasper ignored it and threw the heavy bag over Lapis’s shoulder, ordering her to “Go!” with a rough shove towards the wall.

Lapis approached the wall with confidence. _The other teams aren’t even halfway through the hurdles,_ she reminded herself. Her confidence quickly flickered out after the first few feet. Lapis realized with annoyance that her team had collected a shit ton of rocks – much more than they needed to beat the other teams. Each foot was a huge effort and it didn’t help that Jasper was screaming at Lapis from the ground.

Lapis felt her hands getting sweaty as she inched towards the top of the wall. She forced herself to not look down and prayed she wouldn’t slip. Much to her surprise, Peridot flew up the wall from behind her and she felt her heart sink. _So much for tripping her off the wall,_ Lapis thought sadly. As Peridot disappeared over the wall, Lapis allowed herself a moment to rest. She was _so close_. Jasper was going insane and Lapis was having a hard time tuning it out. She failed her team…

Just then, she felt her hand slipping and she shrieked, pawing at the wall for purchase and sighing when she managed to grip it again. She saw some movement above her and looked up, surprised to see a pale hand extended towards her. She eyed it, the glint of the sun off the person’s wrist caught her eye. _00:00:00:00:05:17,_ read the timer. A moment later, it still read the same. Lapis had never seen a frozen timer before. Lapis had never seen a frozen timer with less than a day, let alone an hour. Let alone ten minutes.

“Do you want help or not?” The owner of the hand asked, a bit harshly. Lapis forced her eyes to look at the source of the voice. Her mind struggled to register the situation as she grabbed Peridot’s hand and hauled herself over the edge of the wall, falling onto and effectively pinning the blonde girl beneath her. She looked at Peridot. Peridot looked at the trophy, which Lapis noticed was just within her reach, yet she made no move to grab it. Instead, she carefully climbed off of her opponent and held her hands up in surrender. Peridot had her own brief moment of confusion before she scrambled to her feet and grabbed the trophy, winning the fifteen points for Team Pink.

Garnet, who had been waiting at the top of the wall and watched this entire awkward exchange, smiled and put her hand on Peridot’s shoulder. “Good work, you two,” she said, nodding in Lapis’s direction.

Jenny made it up the wall a moment later and sighed, whispering a curse under her breath as she rested her palms on her knees and panted.

Garnet cleared her throat, “Team Pink wins the race!” she announced. Peridot held up the trophy and beamed down at her teammates, who cheered ecstatically. “And Team Yellow wins second place, for gathering the most rocks!”

There was significantly less celebration from Team Yellow. Lapis could hear Jasper fuming but she couldn’t focus on the shitshow that awaited her back on the ground as her mind reeled. _Peridot just saved me_ , she thought, _Peridot just saved me. And I let her win._

Lapis watched Peridot hold up the trophy for everyone to see, her gaze stopping on the small timer adorning the girl’s wrist. Lapis felt like she swallowed one of the rocks from her team’s satchel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. i fucking gagged writing the jasper infidelity flashback  
> 2\. DEH, anybody?  
> 3\. the sun/star thing is an actual conversation i had with my sister and it took 10 years off my life


	7. Malachite Kicks Everybody's Ass: Reprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things go bad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> owo what's this? an update? a day after the last one?  
> dont get used to it ;) 8 is a doozy

Lapis laid in her bed, holding a pillow over her head to drown out the screaming from the other room. Jasper had been going off for hours about losing the stupid race. The rest of the yellow team was a bit more subdued with their disappointment, glaring at Lapis when she got down from the climbing wall. None of them had said a word to her the entire hike back. Lapis knew it was the right thing to do, letting Peridot claim the win, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t sorely regretting it now.

Jasper’s muffled yelling could be heard through the walls, “We’re going to get them back! Those fucking stupid, weak, little defects…” Jasper walked into the bedroom, followed by Topaz and Zircon, “Tonight, when they’re all asleep, we’re going to make them fucking pay…”

“Rig the shit out of their cabin,” Zircon added with a laugh.

Lapis perked up. Pranking the pink team sounded like an excellent idea. She peaked over the edge of her bunk at them, “I want in.” _This’ll be so funny._

Jasper spun around, “Yeah, you fucking better. You need to redeem yourself.” Lapis grit her teeth. “What happened? You were both up there, I saw her fall, you had her pinned. We had that in the bag!”

Lapis started to sweat and gave a nervous chuckle, “Well, yeah, she got the slip on me, I guess.”

Jasper growled, “That slimy little bitch! Come on, Lapis, we’re doing this now.” She turned to Topaz and Zircon, “You guys in?”

Topaz and Zircon exchanged frightened, cowardly looks. “Nah, you two can handle this.” Zircon said. The two seemingly thought better of the whole plan, now that Jasper was definitely putting her money where her mouth is.

Lapis couldn’t blame them. Jasper was absolutely terrifying when she got this enraged. Lapis obediently followed Jasper out of the yellow team’s cabin to the cafeteria.

Jasper tried the door, finding it locked. Undeterred, she pulled out a pocket knife and pushed it between the door and the jam. She held open the door for Lapis, “Hurry!” she whispered. The two entered the cafeteria and set to work gathering supplies: peanut butter from the pantry, whipped cream and maple syrup from the refrigerators, and string and a bucket from the supply closet. They filled the bucket with ice water.

“This should be good, right?” Lapis asked.

“Not quite,” Jasper said. Lapis was confused but followed Jasper to the pink team’s cabin, leaving their haul outside one of the windows to the girl’s bedroom. “One more thing,” Jasper said, walking off into the woods.

 _Okay, this is weird_ , Lapis thought, following Jasper warily. Jasper started picking up twigs and sticks as they walked deeper into the trees. A voice in Lapis’s head wondered if Jasper was going to kill her and burry her under a bush somewhere.

Suddenly, Jasper stopped and dropped the twigs and sticks on the ground. She produced a lighter from her pocket and handed it to Lapis. “Start a fire,” she ordered.

Lapis was starting to get pretty frightened but knew better than to protest. She got to work arranging the sticks while Jasper walked off deeper into the trees. By the time Jasper returned, holding a small evergreen branch, Lapis had a modest campfire going. Jasper wordlessly threw the green branch on the fire until it began to smoke. She picked it up and walked to a nearby tree, holding the smoking branch next to something Lapis struggled to make out in the darkness. She could hear a faint buzzing and realized with horror that Jasper was smoking out a beehive.

After a couple minutes, Jasper seemed satisfied with her work and handed her pocketknife to Lapis, “Go cut that hive down.”

Lapis decided she had enough of this. “Jasper, don’t you think this is, uh, crossing a line?”

“No!” Jasper snapped quickly, glaring daggers at her girlfriend.

Lapis jumped and decided she didn’t want her theory about Jasper killing her in the woods to come to fruition, so she climbed the tree and started to saw at the spot where the hive connected to the branch. When the beehive fell, Jasper caught it. “Okay,” she said, cradling the hive like a football, “Now we’re ready.”

The walk back to the pink team’s cabin was quiet and tense. Lapis really regretted encouraging Jasper. She silently hoped none of the girls on Team Pink were allergic to bee stings.

Jasper silently slid open the window with ease, locking her fingers together for Lapis to step up and through the window. Once she was through, Jasper started handing her the various items they had gathered. Lapis hesitated when Jasper handed her the beehive, but swallowed her inhibitions when she met Jasper’s impatient glare. She set it on the floor gently, wondering how long the smoke would keep the bees placated. Lastly, Jasper hauled herself up through the window, swearing under her breath when the floor creaked under her weight.

The pranksters set to work. They covered the sleeping campers in mixtures of peanut butter, whip cream, and syrup, being careful not to wake anybody. Jasper gave Lapis a boost so she could balance the bucket of water over the door frame. They wove a intricate yarn web around the room, guaranteeing that at least one person would trip getting out of bed tomorrow morning.

Then came time for the beehive. Lapis had thought they would just leave it on the floor for the bees to wake up and infest the cabin, but Jasper had other plans. The latter picked up the hive and slinked over to Peridot’s bed, careful to avoid the tripwires. Lapis put two and two together when Jasper oh-so-carefully began to lift the corner of Peridot’s blanket, the blonde girl sleeping peacefully and obliviously.

Lapis grabbed Jasper’s arm that was lifting the hive to plant in Peridot’s bed and pulled it back down, “Jasper,” she whispered, “This is fucked up.”

Jasper looked at her indignantly, “But, Lapis, she—”

Lapis snatched the small beehive from Jasper’s hand before she could finish her sentence and tossed it out the open window.

Jasper growled and shoved her, causing Lapis to trip backwards over some string and land on the floor with a thud, “What the fuck is your problem?” she rasped, struggling to keep her voice quiet.

It was for naught, however, as Pearl’s voice cut through the darkness. “What’s going on?” she asked.

Jasper and Lapis shared a look of panic, Jasper quickly ran to the window and jumped out. Lapis made to follow her girlfriend but found herself tangled in the tripwires. She heard Pearl attempt to climb out of bed and trip as well.

“What on Earth?” Pearl shrilled. The cabin came alive with the sound of people rustling about in their beds, followed by sounds of shock and disgust as the girls of Team Pink realized they were all covered in wet, sticky, unknown substances.

Pearl made it to the light switch and flicked it on. As the disorientation wore off, Lapis found all eyes on her.

To make matters worse, the door flung open, tipping the bucket and its contents onto the poor soul who walked into the mess Lapis and Jasper had created. Garnet stood in the doorway, unphased and stone-faced as water dripped off her person, the bucket clattering to the floor. Sour Cream stood behind the camp director, looking over her shoulder curiously. _What a snitch_ , Lapis thought. Lapis couldn’t see Garnet’s expression under the glasses but she knew it was one of utmost disappointment. Garnet pursed her lips, “Lapis. Peridot. Come with me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i fucking love the parent trap


	8. Cabin Mates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Would you like some flangst in this trying time?  
> tw substance abuse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> remember how i said chapter 8 would take a while?  
> i lied

Peridot sat in Garnet’s office, arms crossed as Pearl chewed out her and Lapis for something Peridot had no part in. Lapis sat in the chair a few feet from her, looking equally annoyed.

“What were you thinking?” Pearl screeched at Lapis, “Connie could have _died_! She’s allergic to peanut butter. How would that make you feel, Lapis? Killing Steven’s soulmate?”

Lapis looked at the floor and seemed to shrink in on herself. “It’s not like I forced her to eat it, we— _I_ just smeared some on her face, is all,” she grumbled.

Pearl opened her mouth to respond but was interrupted by Garnet entering the office, a damp towel thrown over her shoulder. She sat down at her desk and clasped her hands together. “So,” she began, “What was the purpose in terrorizing Team Pink? Were you that upset about yesterday’s competition? Did you act alone?”

Lapis was silent and opted to stare at her shoes. She wasn’t a snitch, especially if snitching meant invoking Jasper’s rage. She saw first-hand what Jasper was capable of.

Garnet sighed, “I must say, I’m surprised, Lapis. Peridot helped you yesterday and this is how you repay her?”

Lapis grit her teeth, snapping back at Garnet, “Well, she started it! She switched teams because she doesn’t like me!” 

“Peridot, is that true?” Garnet asked, a hint of surprise in her voice.

Peridot was flabbergasted, “What? That—that’s ridiculous! I don’t even know her!”

“That’s a lie, we met at school. She was being a weirdo.”

Garnet pursed her lips, “So I take it you two don’t get along?”

“No!” they snapped in unison.

Garnet sighed, “I can’t allow this kind of animosity between teams. It’s not healthy for the camp, so I’m afraid you’ll both have to say goodbye to your teams.”

“You’re going to expel them?” Pearl asked, looking at Peridot sadly.

“No.” Garnet said simply. She stood up, “Go pack your things and report back here.”

Peridot and Lapis both stormed back to their respective cabins, collecting their few possessions and ignoring the prying questions from their teammates. They waited outside Garnet’s office in a tense silence, both refusing to look in the direction of the other.

After a torturous few minutes, Garnet emerged from the office. “Follow me,” she said, starting down a small trail that lead away from the rest of the camp. “Since you two can’t play nice as rivals, you will learn to play nice as teammates.” Lapis and Peridot glared at each other as they registered Garnet’s words. “What are your favorite colors?” Garnet asked as they walked.

“Yellow,” Peridot said.

“Blue,” Lapis said.

Half a mile into the woods, they came upon a cabin, if one could really call it that. It was a small shack, with screen in the windows rather than glass. A large hole in the wall was covered by a tarp. On one side of the shack was a substantial pile of firewood, and the other side a substantial pile of garbage: discarded electronics and appliances, mostly. Garnet turned around to face them, smiling wryly, “There’s a shower and bathroom behind the cabin. Make yourselves at home, Team Green.” Just like that, Garnet disappeared into the trees on her way back to the camp.

Lapis adjusted her bag over her shoulder and stomped up the rickety steps, leaving Peridot behind her to continue gawking at the ratty building. Peridot sighed, letting her shoulders slump. _This is_ so _fucking unfair_ , she thought, walking around to the back of the cabin.

Garnet had been generous when she said there was a “shower and bathroom.” Rather, there was an outhouse and a stall with a large bucket suspended above it, attached to a rope that would have to be pulled to pour water on oneself, and a hose to fill the bucket. Peridot couldn’t help but chuckle when she realized this was very similar to the mechanism Lapis had used to soak Garnet.

The next few days were highly uneventful, literally. Lapis refused to have anything to do with Peridot, so the two of them didn’t participate in any of the events. Peridot made a point of attending them, regardless, so she could cheer her friends on.

“Hey! Steven,” Peridot called, on the third day of her banishment from the pink team, jogging over to her friend.

Steven beamed at her, “Hi Peridot!”

Peridot threw her arm around Steven, “Hey, buddy old friend, let’s hang out, talk about life!” she said with a strained laugh.

Steven looked at her curiously, “Okay… so how’s your new living situation going?”

Peridot let out a breath, “Terrible.” Steven frowned and she attempted to backtrack, “I mean, it’s just—she hates me! But, you! You’re friends with her, right?”

Steven grinned, “Yeah! Lapis and I go way back.”

Peridot clutched Steven by his shoulders, “You have to help me” she pleaded.

Steven and Peridot hung out in the living room of the pink team’s cabin for about an hour, brainstorming ideas to make Lapis not hate Peridot.

“Maybe you could write her a card? With an apology” Steven suggested.

Peridot scoffed.

“Yeah, maybe not…” Steven conceded.

Peridot gasped, “But if—!” she sighed, “No… but, maybe… Ugh!” she dropped onto the sofa in defeat.

Steven scratched his chin. “She probably feels really bad, getting kicked out of the Yellow Team… this summer camp always meant so much to her.” He hummed, “Maybe… a gift? Since she feels like she lost something, give her something to make her feel better?”

“That’s… not a bad idea, Steven,” Peridot said, “But what…?”

_What would you give to someone who lost something important to them?_

Peridot had an idea. “Steven, I need you to help me find something.”

 

* * *

 

 

Peridot sat in her desk struggling to read the test her math teacher had just handed back. No matter how hard she focused, the characters on the page strained her eyes and somewhere between her ocular nerves and brain the message became too garbled to make sense of. Since her accident, she had been dealing with this constantly. She sighed, removing her glasses – another souvenir of the accident – and pinched the bridge of her nose. _You can do this, Peridot_ , she told herself. She opened her eyes and slid her glasses back on, this time managing to make out the grade plastered to the top of her test in red ink.

_F_

She rubbed her eyes again. That couldn’t be right. As she slowly began to read the test, her heart sank.

_39%._

The bell rang, signaling the end of the school day. The other students quickly gathered their things and left the classroom, leaving Peridot by herself with Mrs. Kruch. Peridot stared at the test in a daze, no longer attempting to read the symbols that had once been like her native language. What was the point anymore?

Mrs. Kruch looked at her in concern, “Peridot?”

She looked up in response to her name, numbly picking up her bag and walking past her teacher without a word.

 _How did you get a 39%?_ Peridot wondered.

Sure, she’d been drinking a lot more lately. And smoking. And coming to school after doing both. She certainly had a few drinks before that test, but just the year before, she was top of her class despite the occasional before-school bender.

She walked through the halls slowly, for once oblivious to the stares and whispers and hushed conversations that had been following her since she came back to school. She nearly walked into the door at the end of the hallway before pushing it open and walking out into the parking lot. She kept walking, past her pickup, past the bus stop, letting her legs absentmindedly carry her home. What was wrong with her?

Ever since the night her timer froze, Peridot felt as if she died and went to hell. She wasn’t exactly put together before her timer froze, by any means, but the girl she had become since then would make a shattered flower pot look whole.

The old Peridot drank and smoked with her friends because it was fun. This Peridot drank and smoked by herself, partly to forget about how said friends had faded out of her life when she came back to Keystone High as a sophomore with death in her eyes, a shell of the boisterous freshman they had known. One friend, Nephrite, had stuck by her. Peridot knew it was out of guilt. That entire night had been Nephrite’s idea, and it had been her alone who saw the damage to her friend first-hand when she came upon Peridot’s mangled bike.

Peridot subconsciously pulled her box of cigarettes from her jacket, lighting one and taking a long drag to calm herself from the scrambled memories she would rather not make sense of. The old Peridot hated cigarettes. The new Peridot needed any drug she could get her hands on, including nicotine.

When Peridot awoke in the hospital two days after her timer froze, the pain was overwhelming. It seemed to consume every cell of her body, safe for a deafening numbness in her left leg. Her mother was sleeping in an uncomfortable hospital chair next to her, in a state indicating she had not left the hospital since arriving days prior. The next thing Peridot noticed, however, were the striking yellow flowers on her bedside, with a note that was nothing more than Nephrite’s name and a poorly drawn heart.

The physical therapy after that had been taxing on her weak, battered body. Even now, she struggled to walk on the prosthetic. She didn’t think she would ever get used to the phantom sensations of her missing leg, or the strange way the pressure on her stump contradicted them.

Peridot was stunned out of her thoughts when she found herself at a familiar doorstep. She blinked, her mind lagging as it realized she was already home. It was then Peridot remembered she drove to school today. _Whatever_ , she thought to herself, _you can walk to school tomorrow._

She pushed her way into her home. Her routine instinct was to go to the living room and pass out on the couch, which she had been doing all summer to avoid taking the stairs up to her bedroom. The 39% flashed through her mind and she willed herself to walk past the living room, up the stairs, and down the hall to her bedroom. The door was open and she hesitantly stepped inside.

Everything was clean and tidy. Her mom must have done that in case Peridot decided to acclimate back to sleeping in there – Peridot definitely never let her room look so spotless. She tore her eyes away from the well-made bed and noticed _it_. The striking yellow flowers, a bit wilted, resting in her windowsill. Peridot credited their survival to her mother, who had apparently been tending to the plant just enough to keep it from dying. Not enough to thrive, however; Emerald exhausted herself just keeping their heads above water.

Peridot smiled and sat on her bed. “You and me both,” she told the flowers. She felt a switch turn on in her head, and a thought came to her quickly, suddenly, and overpoweringly, like they had before her accident scrambled her brain. _She might keep you alive, but I’m the only one who can make you healthy again…_ Peridot didn’t know if she was thinking to herself or the flowers.

That night, Peridot slept in her bed for the first time in months. The next day, she explained her situation to Mrs. Kruch, who was sympathetic and eagerly agreed to let Peridot retake the math test, this time with Mrs. Kruch reading the problems to Peridot, who, rather than exhausting herself with the effort it took to read a problem, had freed up enough mental capacity to calculate the answers in her head. The formulas and variables fit together in her mind like cogs of a machine, her brain manipulating the numbers effortlessly and automatically as it did before her accident. She got 100% on that test. Within a week, she could go 24 hours without a drop of alcohol. Two weeks later, she had completely stopped smoking cigarettes. She still smoked pot, but it was an occasional thing she did with Nephrite for fun, rather than a coping mechanism.

The flowers on her windowsill, which she had learned to be a yellow yarrow – a symbol of healing – blossomed and thrived. Peridot filled her room with plants and, when she ran out of space, her green thumb extended throughout the entire house and surrounding property, and eventually the home of Emerald and Peridot Greene made the loveliest parks in Delmarva look shabby.

 

* * *

 

 

Lapis laid in her makeshift hammock behind the cabin she had been condemned to share with Peridot. Thankfully, she had seen no sign of her roommate today, and she hoped it would stay that way.

“Lapis!” she heard Peridot’s voice call. The screen door on the cabin opened and slammed shut. “I thought she was in here…”

Another, more welcome, voice called out, “Lapis?”

“I’m back here, Steven!” Lapis replied.

She heard her roommate and the boy who was arguably her best friend walk around the cabin. “Hey, Lapis!” Steven greeted chipperly.

Lapis smiled at him, climbing out of the hammock. “Hey, what’s up?”

Steven didn’t answer, instead stepping aside and gesturing to Peridot. Lapis frowned.

Peridot looked at her nervously, holding a small potted plant. “Hey, uhm, I got you something. It’s like a—uh, a peace offering.” She smiled and held out the plant. Lapis stared at it indifferently. Peridot continued, “When I was in a pretty bad place, my friend gave me a yellow yarrow, because it’s supposed to symbolize healing. I didn’t really care for it at first, but… it made me feel better.” She looked at the ground and kicked some dirt with her right foot. “To be able to grow something and have another life to tend to, when I didn’t really care for my own…” She coughed and looked back up, forcing an enthusiastic smile, “It’ll help you too!”

Lapis wasn’t going to take the plant from Peridot, but Steven’s hopeful, expectant gaze made her reach out and take the plant despite the loathing broiling inside her chest. She frowned harder.

“You just water it every week, make sure it gets full sunlight, and it’ll take care of the rest!”

Lapis set her jaw. Did Peridot really think a fucking plant would make her feel better about having her _last_ summer at BCSC ruined? “I don’t want your garbage,” she said, emphasizing each word. Her hand moved on its own accord, throwing the plant on the ground and feeling utter satisfaction at the sound of the pot shattering.

Peridot looked at the broken pot in shock, her throat constricting at the sight of the crushed flower she and Steven had spent all morning searching for. She growled, “What?! Were you kicked out of a greenhouse, too?”

Lapis looked blindsided by Peridot’s outburst, averting her gaze and furrowing her brows in anger.

“Peridot!” Steven gasped, offended on Lapis’s behalf.

Peridot sighed, “Look, I get it, you know. You can never go back to the yellow team. This place—” she gestured to the ramshackle cabin behind her, “—isn’t like the other cabins! You’re alone. Nobody could _possibly_ know what that feels like! Oh wait, I _do_. Except…” Peridot paused, racking her brain, “You… don’t have to be alone. So, tell me then, what you want from me, and whatever _that_ is,” she sighed, “I’ll do it.”

Lapis balled her hands into fists at her sides and yelled, “I want you to _leave_!”

Peridot looked at Lapis in shock, her eyes glistening before she squeezed them shut. She turned around and ran past the cabin, back towards the main camp, her uneven footsteps fading off into the distance. _I fucking hate that stupid limp_ , Lapis thought, crossing her arms.

“Lapis,” Steven said sadly, “Why are you so mean to her?”

Lapis noticed Steven was tearing up as well, she dropped her arms. “Because, I…” she didn’t know how to finish that sentence. _Because she helped me? Because I let her win and regretted it? Because… what?_

“She’s really trying,” Steven said, wiping his eyes, “You’re not even giving her a chance.”

They both looked down at the shattered vase. Lapis felt something in her chest twist painfully. “I’m sorry,” she said quietly.

Steven sighed, “You should be apologizing to her.”

Lapis knew Steven was right, but words weren’t really her thing. It would take a quality apology after everything she did to Peridot. Lapis bit her lip, “Steven, do you have any superglue?”

After a couple hours of putting the vase together like puzzle pieces, a quick google search, and an arduous flower-hunt, Lapis found herself wandering the camp anxiously, searching for a certain blonde cabinmate.

Lapis had just turned the corner around the cafeteria when she found Peridot. Lapis stopped in her tracks, second guessing her plan. Peridot looked pissed, pacing back and forth. She growled and kicked the dumpster, hissing and shaking her right foot. Her shoulders slumped in defeat and she sat down against the side of the building, pulling her knees up to her chest and ducking her head down. Her shoulders shook and Lapis could make out a few quiet sobs.

Lapis really wanted to walk away, but she willed herself forward. _You did this, you fix it_ , she told herself. She stopped in front of Peridot, her palms sweaty against the flowerpot. “Peridot.”

The girl in question didn’t respond, instead flinching in on herself at Lapis’s voice.

“Peridot,” Lapis said again, more surely this time as she sat down next to the crying girl. Peridot sniffed loudly. Lapis cleared her throat, “I, uh, got you this.”

Peridot looked up and Lapis finally got a good look at her. Peridot’s eyes were red, as was the rest of her face. Some snot leaked out of her nose, which she quickly wiped away, sniffling again. She saw the vase and frowned, confused.

“It’s a purple hyacinth,” Lapis explained quickly, “It’s supposed to, uhm… symbolize forgiveness. Because I… I guess I kinda need it. What I mean is I’m—I’m sorry for, well, being a bitch, I guess, since that pretty much sums up how I’ve been acting to you. I was just angry at myself, I didn’t mean to take it out on you. Well, I mean I did, but I wish I didn’t.” She sighed, cutting off her rambling. “I’m really sorry,” she said sincerely.

Peridot wordlessly took the flower from Lapis and cradled it in her lap.

Lapis sighed, standing back up, “Well, I guess I’ll just go, you probably don’t want to see me after—”

“Lapis,” Peridot said, cutting her off, wiping her nose again with her sleeve, “Thank you.”

Lapis felt a weight lift off her chest and she smiled down at Peridot, offering a hand to help her up. Peridot accepted it and returned Lapis’s smile.

The purple hyacinth was placed in a nice, sunny spot by the door of their cabin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> almost everything after chapter 6 is really damn fun to write... if only i could say the same for my homework


	9. That's Your Problem, Peridot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot talks to plants and fights dumpsters... but can she befriend Lapis Lazuli?

Peridot and Amethyst were hanging out together in the girl’s room of the Pink Team’s cabin, which Pearl had miraculously restored to spotlessness despite all the syrup Lapis got everywhere. Peridot was ranting her heart out to Amethyst about her roommate troubles.

“I swear, she must be deathly afraid of shoes or something. She _never_ wears them, Amethyst, unless it’s absolutely imperative. Don't even get me started on the snoring! I wouldn't mind it so much if she didn't sleep twenty hours a day.”

Amethyst chuckled, “Yeah, she was like that when she lived with us, too.”

Peridot groaned, “And it’s torture to spend every meal with her at the cafeteria. I think getting into NASA would be easier than holding a conversation with her. She just pretends I’m not there! And if she’s not staring at her plate, she’s staring at _Jasper_. Eck, it’s disgusting.”

“They are pretty gross together, aren’t they?” Amethyst agreed. She had her nose buried in a magazine, half-listening to Peridot.

“Oh, just repulsive. And it’s like she’s hellbent on making sure I don’t get to do any of the events! I just spend all day reading or doing math exercises, which I don’t mind, of course, but it’d be nice to actually experience summer camp for once!”

Amethyst hummed, flipping a page, “I hear ya, P, I really do.” She didn’t.

Peridot sighed, “I’m really trying, Amethyst. I thought after the whole flower exchange, things would be a little better. But now she’s just indifferent to me. Like, this morning, I asked her if she wanted to come with me to see you guys, because I know she and Steven get along, and she just snapped at me, ‘No!’ And when I asked her if we could _please_ do the event today, she just rolled her eyes at me!”

A knock interrupted Peridot. Pearl smiled at them sheepishly, standing in the doorway, “We better get going, don’t want to be late.”

Amethyst groaned, tossing the magazine on the floor. “Dot, come help me up,” she whined, holding out her arms like a child.

“Hah,” Peridot said, halfway to the door, “help yourself up.”

Amethyst caught up with Peridot and the two walked together, following the crowd of campers.

“What do you think it’ll be today?” Amethyst asked.

Peridot shrugged, “I guess it doesn’t really matter to me, does it?”

Amethyst rolled her eyes, “Aw, come on, just guess!”

“An annoy Peridot contest. You already won, thirty points to Team Pink. Everybody can go home.”

Amethyst cackled, then stopped abruptly, “Wait, listen.”

Peridot stopped and looked around, confused. “What?”

“Shush… do you hear it?” Amethyst asked, “Try guessing now.”

Peridot thought this was ridiculous, but she closed her eyes to focus her ears. Birds. Some type of white noise, wind, maybe? Amethyst’s stomach growling. “Amethyst,” she said, annoyed.

“Heh, my bad.” Amethyst laughed, “Whatever, let’s keep walking, you’ll figure it out.”

A short way through the woods, they came upon a break in the vegetation and found themselves standing on the edge of a creek. The water pooled into a small pond, which was filled with about a dozen kayaks. Peridot finally made the connection between the white noise she heard earlier as the water rushed by, splashing loudly against the terrain…

 

* * *

 

  
All Peridot could register was _cold_. Her ears rang loudly. She opened her eyes and felt moisture drip into them, making her blink quickly. She couldn’t _see_. She closed her eyes tightly, opening them a second later. Still nothing. Perhaps it was just too dark? Something told her that it was nighttime. She became aware of the ground under her back, cold and soggy. She sniffed, registering the smell of unfamiliar smoke mixed with something more familiar. Overall, it was highly unpleasant, nothing like the campfire smell she enjoyed. Peridot wondered why campfires came to mind. Déjà vu, but she couldn’t put her finger on it.

The ringing gradually began to fade out and she could make out a harsh, wavering screeching noise. Something in the back of her head told her to _move_ , but she felt exhausted to her core. She tried to wiggle her fingers, but, without being able to see in the blackness that engulfed her vision, she couldn’t tell if she was successful. She felt painfully numb, like the moment after bumping a funny bone before the nerve impulses reach the brain.

She became aware of another sound. It made her ears twitch, like hearing one’s name called from far away.

It _was_ her name. “Peridot?” Over the wailing noise, she thought she could hear the dull sound of footsteps. Maybe they were actually loud, and the screech just drowned them out. “Peridot!”

 

* * *

 

 

“Peridot!”

Peridot was jolted back to reality, “Ah!”

“Geeze, calm down.” Lapis said, “Are we gonna do this or not?”

Peridot stared at her in disbelief. _Is she serious?_ Peridot asked herself, _Of course she is. Of course she would decide to participate in_ this _event._

“Ugh, whatever, I’ll just go back to the cabin if you’re going to be weird and stare at me again.”

“No, wait! Let’s just—ugh—get this over with,” Peridot grumbled.

“Love the enthusiasm,” Lapis commented, following Peridot to an empty kayak.

Peridot carefully stepped in, holding back a squeal when the kayak moved under her weight, “Yeah, well, I’m just _so_ excited to be in a boat in a rushing body of water with you. Totally not fearing for my life right now.”

Lapis climbed in behind Peridot, “That’s your problem, Peridot. You let yourself get so uptight about shit. It’s just a kayak race! Stop acting like you’re going to fucking die. Live a little.”

Garnet blew a whistle and the kayaks took off down the stream, Lapis and Peridot lagging behind most of the kayaks almost immediately due to their unsynchronized rowing.

“I guess we can’t all be cool and reckless like you,” Peridot bit back.

“At least I know how to have fun. Your life must be so depressing, all you ever do is read or do math. I’m sick of having papers full of algebra all over my living quarters.”

“First of all,” Peridot said, “It’s calculus. Second, I wouldn’t expect you to appreciate the science of mathematics. No simple-minded person would.”

“What?” Lapis snapped, ceasing her rowing, “Are you calling me dumb?”

“If the shoe fits, wear it. Metaphorically, of course,” Peridot added, “Since you don’t wear shoes.”

Lapis huffed angrily and dipped her oar into the water, using it to splash Peridot.

“Argh!” Peridot jumped away from the water, causing the boat to rock violently. She and Lapis both went wide-eyed and clutched the edges of the kayak as it stabilized.

Steven rowed up from behind them, “Guys, please be nice. I can’t stand watching my friends fight.” He was wearing a backpack shaped like a cheeseburger.

Peridot scoffed, “Well, maybe you should get better friends!”

Lapis stopped rowing again and retorted, “I agree! Why would you be friends with somebody like Peridot?”

“Are we going to finish this race or not?” Peridot growled.

Lapis threw her oar down across her lap, “Not.”

Peridot sighed harder than she’s ever sighed before in her life, “You are _so_ petulant.”

“I don’t even know what that fucking means.”

“Not to mention profane,” Peridot added.

Lapis splashed her again, this time Peridot didn’t flinch and reminded herself to _take deep breaths._

“Are you done?”

“I don’t know, am I?” Lapis asked, crossing her arms. The few kayaks that had been lagging behind passed them.

“Lapis,” Peridot said, gathering every ounce of composure she had, “Can we please, _please_ get along long enough to finish this race? If we just try, I think we can win. The green team is _our_ team now, why don’t we fight for that instead of fighting each other?”

“Wow,” Lapis said, “You’re just as bad as Steven.”

“I’m serious.”

“That’s what makes it so bad,” she said, laughing. “Fine, let’s get this over with, I want to go take a nap.”

“That’s the spirit,” Peridot mumbled sarcastically.

The pair got to work rowing their kayak through the stream, managing to catch up to and pass Steven and Amethyst. As they crossed the finish line, Peridot stood up in the kayak to give a victory shout and fell back when the boat rocked unsteadily. They both laughed, Lapis shoving Peridot off her lap, “You’re so stupid” she said, meaning it endearingly. They docked the kayak on the edge of the stream and climbed out. Peridot was thankful to be on solid ground again, resisting the urge to drop down and kiss the dirt.

“Good job, you two,” Garnet said, “You got third place.” 

Peridot whooped, “High-five, Lapis!”

She smiled at Peridot and crossed her arms, “No…”

Across the creek, Jasper was swearing her head off and beating her head against a tree. The yellow team got second. Lapis watched her, feeling embarrassed to call herself Jasper’s girlfriend.

Peridot didn’t notice where Lapis’s attention was focused, “What? Come on. We beat _one_ team. That means one team sucks more than us!”

Lapis snorted, “We beat your old team, though.”

Peridot beamed, “Yeah! Looks like they’re really suffering without their best camper. You should consider yourself lucky to be on a team with me.”

As Jasper continued to throw her tantrum, Lapis really did feel lucky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i made an absolutely UNGODLY meme for chapter 11 and i'm excited for the world to see it. it's probably not even funny but i die every time i look at it


	10. Wrong Place, Right Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes we need to see things from a new perspective to get a full picture  
> gore/vomit/alcohol TW

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All my years of motorcycle research pays off in this one chapter

Amethyst, Steven, Peridot, and Lapis walked along the edge of the stream together, heading back to where they started the kayak race, following the rest of the campers.

“You guys did so good!” Steven praised.

“Yeah, left us in the dust. Lucky Steven weighed us down with that stupid cheeseburger.” Amethyst added.

Peridot beamed under the praise. Lapis smiled a little bit, too. Peridot was about to reply when they heard somebody splashing across the stream. The group stopped walking and looked to see Jasper running through the waist-high waters.

Jasper threw her arm around Lapis’s shoulder, “Hey, sweetheart, I missed you!” she said, kissing Lapis on the cheek and dripping water all over her. Lapis looked displeased. 

Peridot wanted to swear at Jasper for interrupting their conversation.

“You should come hang out with _your friends_ ,” Jasper remarked, glaring back at Peridot and whisking Lapis towards the front of the convoy.

Peridot watched them disappear into the crowd.

“Man, if looks could kill, Peridot would be a murderer,” Amethyst joked.

“What?” Peridot asked, realizing she had clenched her fists so hard her knuckles turned white. She unclenched them quickly.

Amethyst elbowed her, “You know…” She wiggled her eyebrows.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Steven and Amethyst snickered at her. “Peridot, are you jealous?” Steven asked innocently.

“What?! No! Of course not. What’s there to be jealous of?” Peridot’s face burned in anger at the accusation.

“Aw, you’re blushing!” Amethyst laughed.

“Because you’re pissing me off!” Peridot hissed, starting off in the direction the other campers had disappeared, leaving her friends behind her.

They jogged after her, catching up. “Chill, dude, it was just a joke.”

“Well, it’s not fuc—funny.” Peridot said, holding back the swear when she remembered Steven was there.

“Hey,” Steven said, putting his hand on her shoulder, keeping his voice low as they got closer to the other campers, “It’s okay. None of us like that they’re dating. Right, Amethyst?”

Amethyst rolled her eyes, “Yeah.”

They stopped at the edge of the pool. Most the campers had stripped down to swim, most of them having the foresight to wear swimsuits under their clothes. Although, let's be honest, swimsuits and underwear look the same. Steven tore off his shirt, dropping his backpack on the ground, and ran into the water with his shorts and flip-flops on. He turned around and grinned at Amethyst and Peridot, “Come on, guys! The water’s nice!”

Amethyst grabbed the hem of her shirt, “Right behind ya, Stevie.” She hesitated, looking over her shoulder at Peridot, “You coming?”

Peridot bit the inside of her cheek, “I didn’t bring a swimsuit.”

Steven ran out of the pool, splashing water all over, “I gotcha covered!” He dropped onto his knees and started digging in his backpack, throwing random items over his shoulder. He pulled out a pair of white trunks with green alien print.

 _Okay, that’s tempting_ , Peridot thought. Was she really considering this? She remembered her leg, and the intricate scars that ran from her stump, across her back, to her right shoulder. She felt nauseous at the thought of the others seeing her damaged body. “I can’t,” she said quietly.

“What?” Amethyst asked, “They look about your size, come on. You can change behind a tree or something.”

“I said no!”

Steven and Amethyst flinched at her outburst. A few people stopped their horseplay to look at Peridot.  

Peridot tensed under the scrutiny. “I can’t,” she said again, at a normal volume this time. “I’ll… I’ll see you guys later.” She spun around and speed-walked back towards the camp, praying they wouldn’t follow her.

 

* * *

 

 

Nephrite was ready to call it a night. She had thrown a pretty successful party to celebrate Peridot meeting her soulmate tonight. They had hoped Peridot’s soulmate would show up by some odd strike of fate, but as the timer ticked closer to an hour, and Peridot’s timer jitters only worsened, it became apparent that was not the case. Peridot had left on her motorcycle a few minutes ago. _Go get her, tiger_ , Nephrite had told her best friend.

The drunken teens had cheered as Peridot’s bike whizzed away, doing a brief wheelie to show off before disappearing down the dirt road back to Rockford. Nephrite had planned to stay in her cabin tonight, but as she watched the kids dancing around the bonfire, somebody blasting music over their car’s stereo, she figured it would be hard to fall asleep. Not to mention, there was no cell service this deep into the woods, and she wanted to talk to Peridot as soon as possible. She sighed, climbing out of her outdoor hot tub. She was pretty drunk and wore her clothes in. It was raining anyway, she had reasoned, embrace the wet clothes.

Nephrite stumbled to her car. Some kids hollered at her to stay, but she waved them off. “I’m fucking beat!” she yelled back at them, “Don’t fuck up my family’s cabin!” She slammed the door and started her car, composing herself as she prepared to make the drive back to Keystone. She had always considered herself to be a good drunk driver. She drove down the muddy road in silence, safe for the breeze through her open windows and the rain against the windshield. Every so often, lightning would brighten the sky.

Nephrite kept glancing at the clock, which had just reached 2 AM, smiling to herself as it ticked closer to 2:39AM. By 2:40, Peridot will have met her soulmate.

Peridot's timer had showed up one evening during a sleepover. Nephrite remembered how Peridot looked so disappointed as she read the three-something years she had to wait. Nephrite had been ecstatic and immediately got onto her old desktop computer, calculating this day down to the very second. A small part of her had been envious - she never did get a timer of her own - but she was happy for her friend above anything else. 

Supposedly, meeting your soulmate was supposed to feel electrifying, like fireworks exploding in your body. Nephrite had wanted to be there when it happened, because she knew Peridot, and she knew it would be hilariously awkward. She'd just have to settle for listening to Peridot's gushing tomorrow. 

Just a minute or so outside of Rockford, she could hear a strange noise from the trees, drowning out the sound of the stream. She slowed down, trying to pinpoint the sound. In the trees, just beyond the stream that runs parallel to the road, she could see a faint glow, like that of a campfire. The noise was a wavering screech, like that of a motorcycle being revved at full RPMs…

Nephrite slammed on the brake, cringing as the case of beer in her back seat fell. That _was_ the sound of a motorcycle. And she knew, for a fact, there was _not_ supposed to be a campfire right there. Her pulse quickened as she got out of the car, stumbling towards the sound, passing broken foliage on her way.

She came to the edge of the creek and there, just across the rushing stream, was a familiar motorcycle, gas tank ablaze. “Peridot?” she called. It was then she noticed what was under the bike. “Peridot!”

Nephrite ran through the stream, tripping and falling into the water a few times. She hit the kill-switch on Peridot’s bike, silencing the engine. She heard Peridot groan. The smell of burning flesh hit Nephrite’s nose and she noticed Peridot’s entire body was smoking.

“Peridot, can you hear me?”

“Neph?” came the weak reply.

“Shit, shit, hang on, uhm…” Nephrite’s mind raced. She pulled out her phone and dialed 911, breathing a sigh of relief when she saw she had two bars, “I’m gonna get you help, okay, just hang on.”

As Nephrite relayed information to the operator, Peridot started to squirm. She attempted to prop herself up, but her right arm bent unnaturally and she dropped back onto the ground. She whimpered, “Neph, help me.”

Nephrite pushed Peridot’s shoulders down, “Stop moving.”

“You said the motorcycle is on fire?” the 911 operator asked.

“Yes. I—I think it’s burning her legs.”

“Can you try to move the bike off of her?”

“Uh, yeah, okay…” Nephrite set her phone on the ground and stepped back. She knew there was a certain trick to lifting a fallen bike; she had seen Peridot do it on a few occasions. However, with Peridot under the bike in such a way, she would have to stand on her friend’s body to do it. She settled for grabbing the frame, pulling it up as hard as she could, ignoring the pain the hot metal caused her hands. She managed to lift it a mere inch before she had to drop it. Nephrite wanted to cry in despair. There was no way she could do this. She picked up her phone. “I can’t,” she choked.

The operator said something, but Nephrite couldn’t hear it. _Why did you have to throw this stupid party? You fucked with fate and now your friend is going to die_ , she told herself, tears running down her face.

“Hello? Are you still there?” the operator asked.

“Yes.”

“Keep talking to her, make sure she doesn’t fall asleep.”

Nephrite looked at Peridot, her heart sinking. “Peridot?” she asked, shaking her friend’s shoulder. “Peridot!”

Peridot laid there, unresponsive.

“Oh, god. She’s… I think she’s dead.”

“I’m not…” Peridot mumbled. 

Nephrite sighed in relief. “Nevermind,” she told the operator. She took Peridot’s left hand, giving it a squeeze. She noticed the timer was still ticking down, with about twenty minutes left. She forced a laugh, “Hey, Peridot?”

Peridot made a sound in reply.

“Maybe your soulmate is a sexy nurse.”

Peridot sighed, a smile tugging at her lips, “Hope so…”

The sound of tires on gravel could be heard in the distance. Nephrite perked up, “Wait right here,” she said, kicking herself as the words left her mouth – where the fuck would Peridot go? – “I think that’s the ambulance.”

She ran back to her car, watching the headlights approach. As they grew closer, she realized with disappointment that it was just another car. It stopped, regardless, and she ran over to the window, out of breath. The driver had rolled her window down. “Help, please. My friend—she’s…” Nephrite didn’t know how to finish the sentence. Thankfully, she didn’t need to.

The driver stepped out of the car, telling the passenger to stay put. She was a tall, buff woman with light blonde hair. She followed Nephrite down to where Peridot was still pinned under the burning motorcycle.

“Can you help me move the bike?”

The stranger nodded and walked to the back of the motorcycle, grabbing the frame as far from the gas tank as she could. Nephrite went to grab the other end and help her, but the woman had already flipped the bike onto its other side. They both stood in shock at what was underneath.

Peridot’s right leg looked relatively unscathed, though her shoe was missing. The left leg, if one could even call it that, was missing a shoe as well, twisted up and stripped to the bone where the bulk of the calf used to be. Beyond the bone, even, Nephrite noted. Bits of flesh littered the ground around it. Nephrite turned away and threw up on a bush, nearly choking on the rancid, acidic vomit.

When Nephrite turned back around, the stranger was looking at her in judgement and disgust. “We should tourniquet that.”

“Good idea,” Nephrite rasped, throat sore from purging the alcohol from her stomach. She tried to think of what they could use, noticing some of the fabric that used to be Peridot’s pantleg. She picked it up and tied it just above Peridot’s left knee. Peridot was a bit delirious, mumbling words Nephrite couldn’t quite make out, something about brown eyes.

The stranger kneeled down and used a thin piece of metal, probably from the bike, to twist up the fabric tightly, getting her hands covered in blood in the process. She wiped some sweat from her brow, smearing the red across her face, “That should be good.”

“Thank you,” Nephrite said.

“Yeah,” the woman stood up, “Well, bye.” She went back up towards the road in a daze. Nephrite sympathized; she was still shaken and it didn’t help that Peridot’s mangled leg was _right there_ for her to see.

Nephrite listened to the car drive away. As soon as the sound faded out, she heard a siren in the distance.

 

* * *

 

Peridot sat alone in the supply closet of the cafeteria. It had been about an hour since she stormed away from her friends, and she had no plans of leaving her sanctuary anytime soon. She knew once she did, she would face questions. Questions she did not want to answer, like, “What the fuck is your problem, you neurotic freak?”

Like every hope and dream in Peridot’s life up to this point, it was for naught. “Peridot?” Steven’s voice echoed through the empty cafeteria.

The door to the supply closet opened, the light momentarily blinding Peridot, just like when she had been struck down all those years ago.

“Found her,” Amethyst said, stepping into the closet and sitting down next to Peridot. Steven followed suit, shutting the door behind him.

“What happened back there?” Steven asked gently.

Peridot didn’t say anything.

Amethyst put her hand on Peridot’s right knee, “Did you not feel comfortable? Like, you know, showing skin?”

Peridot nodded.

Amethyst sighed, “I’m really sorry, Per. We wouldn’t have asked you if we knew.”

“You don’t know anything,” Peridot grumbled, pushing Amethyst’s hand away and pulling her knees up to her chest.

“Then tell us,” Steven pressed.

“Only if you want to,” Amethyst added quickly, giving Steven a stern glare.

Peridot sighed. They weren’t going to let this go. She had two options, the way she saw it: Tell them and be treated like she was made of glass, or don’t tell them and be treated like she was made of glass. She pulled up her left pantleg, closing her eyes so she wouldn’t see their reactions.

“Oh,” Steven said.

“That’s not all,” Peridot continued, scooting forward and lifting the back of her shirt, exposing the scars that spread across her skin like tree roots.

“Woah,” Amethyst said, a bit awestruck. Peridot felt Amethyst trace one of the lines, “What’s that from?”

“Lightning.”

They both looked at her expectantly, not satisfied with the one-word answer.

Peridot pulled her shirt back down, covering the scars. “I was leaving a party on my motorcycle, drunk and high, because I was…” she sighed, “ _so_ stupid back then. And it was storming. You’d think the alcohol would have made me crash, but… lightning is faster, I guess. I lost my leg to the bike chain, because the electricity fried the tip sensor, and the engine didn’t turn off like it should have.”

“Man, you must be like a cat. Nine lives or something.”

"Amethyst!" Steven chided.

Peridot surprised herself by laughing. In the dark supply closet of the cafeteria at Beach City Summer Camp, with her new friends’ support and understanding, Peridot felt like a weight had been lifted off her chest.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let peridot say fuck
> 
> this is probably in my top 5 favorite chapters for this story. the other 4 are yet to come :)
> 
> lightning strikes are so interesting  
> they blow ur shoes right off ur feet and cause blindness that can sometimes be permanent.  
> the nerve damage makes it uncomfortable to read - that's why peridot does it so much. it's physical therapy for her brain  
> the general idea of what happened to her - being struck on a motorcycle and veering off the road - is actually... oddly common.


	11. Dichotomy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot walks in on Lapis's private time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is it boys. the halfway point

Peridot made her way back to her cabin, a pep in her step that she hadn’t felt in a long time. It was a huge relief telling Steven and Amethyst about her past. No more hiding her leg. No more hiding her lightning scars. A voice in the back of her head warned her they would treat her differently from now on, but she ignored it as best she could. Steven was _always_ kind. Amethyst probably had a newfound respect for Peridot. Any changes in their behavior was for the best. _Positive thoughts_ , she reminded herself.

As she neared the cabin, she could hear loud music. Missio. Peridot had to admit her cabinmate had good taste. She walked up the creaky wooden steps, past the purple hyacinth, and walked into the cabin.

Lapis had her back turned, her left hand resting against the small of her back. Her right hand was moving languidly across a canvas she had propped up in the windowsill, lightly gripping a paintbrush. She didn’t seem to hear Peridot enter. She hummed along to the music and Peridot approached quietly, careful not to disturb her.

Peridot strained to see the canvas over her cabinmate's shoulder. Bright hues of orange and purple made up a sky, while more subdued colors - greens and browns - were used to paint a quaint little building. A familiar building, at that. “Is that the cabin?” Peridot asked.

“Shit!” Lapis jumped, smearing the brush across her painting. She spun around to face Peridot, spilling her paints on the floor in the process. She frantically muted her phone and knelt down to pick up the containers, salvaging what hadn’t yet poured out onto the wood floor.

Peridot gingerly knelt down as well, grabbing some paints herself, “I didn’t know you were an artist.”

Lapis laughed nervously, “Yeah, heh, well…” she trailed off.

Peridot handed the paint to Lapis, looking back at the painting. It still looked pretty good, even with the streak Lapis’s fright had made on the sunset.

Lapis cleared her throat, “It’s not like it’s useful for anything.”

Peridot scoffed, “Of course it is! A camera couldn’t do… _that_ ,” she waved a hand at the painting.

“It’s not like being a math genius or a star football player,” Lapis stood up, turning her back to Peridot as she set the paints in a neat row on the windowsill.

“Says who?” Peridot asked, taking the opportunity to awkwardly stand up while Lapis wasn't watching. Okay, so she was still hiding her leg from some people.

Lapis sighed, her shoulders drooping a bit, “My parents—" she said quietly. Peridot nearly missed the words. She continued, “—didn’t approve of my art… or anything about me, really.” She laughed, breathy and forced. “I bet your parents love having a genius for a daughter.”

Peridot sat on her bed and leaned back. “Well, my mom does.” If Lapis was opening up, Peridot decided to match her tit for tat.

“Not your dad?”

A sound got stuck in Peridot’s throat as she hesitated, she coughed, “My second mother wants nothing to do with us. Her only love is the stock market and Empire City.”

Lapis had turned around, surprised, “You have _two_ moms?”

“No, I have one. The second left us.”

“Sorry,” Lapis said, rubbing her elbow, “It’s just… not something you hear about every day. Were they not soulmates?”

“Nope,” Peridot said, “Fate left their love lives up to chance. I guess sexuality doesn’t make one immune to dysfunctional relationships.” Peridot tried to keep the bitterness from seeping into her voice. Her wrist itched.

Lapis snorted, “You’re telling me.” She sat on her bed, letting the silence linger. Peridot thought that was the end of the conversation until Lapis spoke up again, “My parents were lucky, like Steven. They met when they were fourteen. I think they were disappointed I never got a timer myself. Though, they were more disappointed when I came out to them…” she forced another laugh. Peridot felt bad for her. “Timerless? That was fine. Lesbian? ‘Get out of our house’” Lapis looked at the floor, rubbing her arm.

Peridot sat up, remembering something Amethyst had told her…

_“Lapis had a… bad home life…”_

So, _that_ was why Lapis used to live with Steven? Because her own parents were ignorant bigots? Peridot felt a bit queasy. She needed to _say_ something, but nothing came to mind. Except…

“Well, fair’s fair. Want to know my damage?”

Lapis’s head snapped up, giving Peridot her full attention.

Peridot reached down, clenching the fabric of her pantleg for the second time that day. She watched Lapis’s reaction as she pulled it up, revealing the metal rod in place of her leg.

Lapis stared at her prosthetic blankly, or perhaps it was just shock. Peridot tried not to let her resolve slip. After a few moments, Lapis asked, “What happened?”

Peridot laughed, dropping the pantleg back down, “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

They sat in a comfortable silence, safe for the sound of Lapis drumming her fingers on her bed. _So_ , Lapis thought, _that’s why she has a limp, and probably why she freaked out earlier today…_ Lapis felt immensely guilty, mentally taking back every mean thought she had about Peridot’s gait. And Peridot in general. She’d have to chew out Jasper the next time her girlfriend said anything mean about her cabinmate.

“I don’t usually tell people,” Peridot said softly, smoothing out the rumbles in the fabric, “Pity is so… patronizing.”

Lapis stood up abruptly, “Let’s clean this up.”

“What?” Peridot asked.

“Y’know, the paint you made me spill on the floor.”

“Oh,” Peridot said, smiling, “Sure.”

 

* * *

 

i leave u all with THIS

~~lapis has no mom hahahahha i'm so funny~~


	12. A New Addition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot and Jasper have a pissing match with their eyeballs. Little do they know, Lapis is about to fall head over heels for neither of them

If Lapis and Peridot’s experience with the kayak race was taking a sledge hammer to the metaphorical wall between them, then their talk later that night was like a wrecking ball. They had managed to get the paint off the wooden floorboards, but the housekeeping didn’t stop there. The two went through the trash pile and scrounged up some scrap wood and nails, patching up the giant hole in the cabin that was covered by a tarp. No longer would they lose sleep to the annoying rustle of plastic whenever a breeze hit the cabin. Peridot made a mental note to go through the pile again, there was a lot of interesting junk that could be re-purposed.

The next morning, they walked to the cafeteria, enjoying the morning together. It was a stark contrast to their tense commutes every morning prior. Instead of eating breakfast in silence, ignoring each other, Lapis had brought a sketchbook for Peridot to scour through. Peridot was flipping through the pages at a snail’s pace, not wanting to skim over a single particle of graphite, praising Lapis whenever she thought of a new way to say "You're a fucking art goddess!" Lapis seemed to have an affinity for landscapes, as every other page was some sort of nature scenery. Some were more unique, though. Steven playing ukulele on a beach. A fountain in a park. Close-ups of leaves on the ground. One particular drawing, an asymmetrical house with a handful of people on the deck, caught Peridot’s attention.

“What’s this?” Peridot asked, holding the sketchbook up.

“Oh, that’s Steven’s house.”

Peridot hummed, flipping through some more pages. “You’re really talented,” she said sincerely, smiling at the girl sitting across from her.

Lapis looked down at her plate, poking at her food. “Thanks,” she said, a shy smile tugging at her lips. Peridot wondered if Lapis had ever been given a compliment before in her life.

Peridot’s gaze wandered past Lapis, feeling like she was being watched. She met Jasper's glaring eyes. Peridot thought she could detect a hint of jealousy. She smiled back at Jasper mockingly. Peridot found herself in a staring match with the girl. She felt her ego skyrocket when Jasper’s glare faltered and she looked away. Something about Jasper feeling threatened by _her_ , a skinny little nerd, made her feel ten feet tall.

Peridot handed the sketchbook back to Lapis, “Thanks for letting me see your drawings. I’m honored.” Lapis flustered as she took her sketchbook back. Okay, so Peridot might be overdoing the compliments, but still. Maybe she had a death wish, but if getting along with Lapis got under Jasper's skin _that_ much... it was a win-win in Peridot's book.

They finished their breakfast in a comfortable silence. The walk back to their cabin was filled with jokes, mostly from Peridot. In her defense, Lapis hardly ever laughed, and now that they were on good terms, she was determined to elicit the sound as much as she could. “—So, then he says, ‘Leaf me alone, I’m bushed!’”

Lapis snorted and laughed, “That’s so terrible. You ripped that off from Avatar.”

Peridot grinned, “But have you ever heard the first half of the joke?”

“I haven’t. Did you just make that up?”

Peridot opened her mouth to reply, stopping short when a noise cut through the trees. It sounded like an animal being tortured. Lapis and Peridot exchanged worried looks.

“What is that?” Peridot asked.

“I don’t know, let’s find it.”

They split up, trying to pinpoint the sound. Peridot pushed her way through some thick bushes and shouted as she felt the ground disappear beneath her. She faceplanted into the dirt. Hot air blew against her face and she looked up, adjusting her glasses only to be assaulted by a slimy tongue. _Holy shit_ , she thought, sitting up and inspecting the creature. It was the chubbiest puppy she had ever seen, with paws that were far too big for its size. It was mostly white, with symmetrical caramel blotches on its face and back. She wasn't well-versed in dog breeds, but she recognized it as a Saint Bernard.

“Peridot?!” Lapis called, having heard Peridot’s scream.

“Over here!” Peridot called, “But watch out for the drop off!”

Lapis rustled through the bush, peaking down into the small trench. Peridot held up the puppy and laughed as it licked Lapis’s face, too.

Lapis’s eyes went wide and she took the puppy from Peridot’s hands, holding it up like it was Mufasa's son. “Oh my gosh…”

Peridot cleared her throat, “A little help?”

Lapis jolted, apparently forgetting Peridot was even there. “Oh, sorry,” she held the puppy under one arm and helped Peridot climb out of the trench. They sat down on the edge of the drop off, inspecting the puppy.

Lapis was baby talking to the puppy, cooing at it. The sight made Peridot’s heart swell. She took off her glasses to clean the dirt and slobber and cleared her throat, “I wonder how she got down there.”

Lapis smirked, “I think you mean he,” she said, turning the small dog so Peridot could see its tummy. Yep, definitely a boy.

“Don't be crass,” Peridot said, smiling.

“I don’t know or care how he got stuck down there. He’s coming with us now, aren’t you, baby?” She blew a raspberry on the dog’s nose. He wagged so fast that his tail was a blur.

Back at the cabin, Peridot and Lapis were sitting on the floor, the puppy running back and forth between them, unsure of whose attention he wanted more. It didn’t help that Peridot and Lapis would get jealous and call the dog when the other was playing with him.

“He doesn’t have a collar,” Peridot noted as Lapis scratched his neck.

“That means we get to name him!” Lapis said, her eyes lighting up.

Peridot laughed, “You really love dogs, huh?”

“Not dogs,” Lapis quipped, “ _This_ dog. I think I met my soulmate.” Lapis played with his jowls, “Isn’t that right my sweet little pumpkin?”

“We're naming him Pumpkin?” Peridot asked skeptically.

Lapis gasped, genuinely, “Peridot, that’s a great idea! Why didn’t I think of that?”

“Peridot, Lapis, you guys here?” Steven’s voice called from outside. Before the two had a chance to react, Steven let himself into their cabin. They made a mental note to lock their door from now on. Steven saw Pumpkin and his jaw dropped, a high-pitched squeal came out of his throat. “Puppy!”

“Steven, be quiet,” Peridot scolded, “We don’t want any of the adults to find out.”

Steven smiled apologetically and sat on the floor, Pumpkin climbing into his lap, “What’s her name?” He asked. Peridot opened her mouth to answer but Steven cut her off, “You should name her Susan!”

Lapis smiled and ruffled Steven’s hair, “Sorry, we already named him Pumpkin. Susan can be his middle name. Pumpkin Susan Lazuli.”

Peridot was aghast, “Lazuli? Who says he gets your last name. I found him!”

“Yeah, but you picked the name Pumpkin.”

Peridot rolled her eyes, smiling. _Pumpkin Susan Lazuli it is_.


	13. Beta

Peridot had taken it upon herself to utilize the junk pile outside the cabin. So far, she had refurbished a microwave, a minifridge, and her most innovative creation yet: a lawnmower that gives off WIFI. She was attacked by a raccoon in the process of building it, but nonetheless; now, she and Lapis could use their cellphones without fear of data rates.

However, there was another issue: the cabin had no electricity. Peridot had recovered some old car batteries and built, from scratch, an electromagnetic inductor. She fixed the inductor to a treadmill and strung up an old shoe that pumpkin was particularly fond of. Viola, a canine-electric generator and power reserve. She was rather proud of herself for harnessing Pumpkin’s excess kinetic energy. It cut down on walks, as well.

With the electricity problem out of the way, Peridot went to addressing the cabin's temperature dilemma. During the day, the cabin would get unbearable hot. At night, even with the canvases tied down over the screens, the temperature could easily drop below 40 degrees. There was a wood stove in the cabin, which kept it nice and warm at night. But, come morning, Lapis and Peridot would wake up sweating buckets. So, Peridot rebuilt an air conditioner. Lapis had been ecstatic when they installed it and cold air filled the cabin. In addition to all that, Peridot had managed to wrap some copper piping around the wood stove, so they could attach the hose and have hot, running water to their outdoor shower.

Currently, Peridot was working on an old television. She was having issues with the old, worn wires, having to figure out which were faulty and replace them accordingly. Lapis was snoring quietly, taking her afternoon nap, and Pumpkin was trying to retrieve the shoe from the canine-electric generator, effectively powering the air conditioner that was humming quietly. Peridot plugged the TV to one of the batteries, humming in displeasure when it didn’t turn on.

It was then she noticed one of the wires had come lose, “Ah ha!” She readied some hot glue, touching the wire to its connector and shouting as the electricity ran up her arm. _Probably should have unplugged it from the battery…_

Lapis sat up, dazed from being woken so abruptly, “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

Peridot didn’t answer. Instead, she was grinning down at the TV, admiring the static picture and white noise it was emanating. _Success_.

“Holy shit,” Lapis said, impressed. She was convinced Peridot was an artist in her own right. “How did you get so good at fixing stuff?”

Peridot adjusted the antennas on the TV, “I don’t know, I’ve always liked machines…”

 

* * *

                                     **  
**

**_UNDER 21 UNTIL_ **

**_03/02/2022_ **

**_SEX                F_ **

**_HGT                5’-02”_ **

**_WGT               110 lb_ **

**_EYES              BLU_ **

Peridot scanned over her permit for the dozenth time that day, smiling to herself with pride. She had turned fourteen two weeks ago, and all she asked her mom for was that she be allowed to take the test for her restricted permit. Delmarva was a pretty lenient state, so anyone over fourteen could get a 6-month learner’s permit before taking the driving exam.

Emerald, of course, had eagerly agreed to let her daughter get licensed as soon as possible. Peridot supposed that was a given when your mother is a mechanic with her own shop. Emerald picked Peridot up after school that Monday, driving her rusty F-150. It used to be red, before the paint was chipped away by weather and time. They immediately went to the courthouse. Peridot passed the eye exam and written test without breaking a sweat.

When they gave Peridot her temporary permit, stamped with the seal of Delmarva, Emerald had smiled and told Peridot to drive them home. Peridot got into the driver’s seat, adjusted the mirrors, and went to turn the key when her mom stopped her.

“Ah-ah-ah, what do you do before starting a manual transmission?” she had asked her daughter.

Peridot wanted to slap herself for the obvious mistake, “Oh, clutch and brake?”

That earned her a nod and a smile. She got them home, only stalling the engine twice, both times on steep inclines, so it was an understandable mistake. Peridot went to return the keys to her mother, but earned a perplexed look instead. “Those are your keys, Dottie.” Peridot was elated.

 

The sound of a truck outside her house pulled Peridot from her thoughts. She looked out the window, confused when she saw two men unloading a motorcycle from the back of the truck. She walked outside to greet them, “What are you doing?” she had asked.

One of the men handed her a note, “Making a delivery,” he said, matter-of-factly. They got back into their truck and, as quickly as they arrived, left Peridot gawking in the driveway. She read the note, which was typed, not handwritten:

 

_Perdot,_

_Happy sweet sixteen. Sorry I can’t make it this year. Lots of work to do. I know how much you like motorcycles so I got you a little something. Give Emerald my regards._

_Yellow Diamond_

 

So, apparently Yellow had remembered her birthday. Well, she remembered the month, but not the year or the day. Or how to spell Peridot’s name, for that matter. Peridot huffed, crumpling the note and stuffing it in her pocket, scrutinizing the gift from her absent mother.

Peridot had been fascinated with motorcycles, at one point when she was little, before Yellow had packed up and left. That was eight years ago. Peridot hadn’t seen her mother for five, aside from glimpses of her in the news. Not that she minded. The visitations, before Yellow stopped bothering to make time for the trip to Keystone, were almost always spent with a babysitter, anyway.

Peridot tried to push the motorcycle into the garage, confused when it refused to budge. She stepped back, the gears in her head turning as she tried to figure out what to do. _The gears_ , she thought, feeling like an idiot. She tested squeezing each lever on the handlebars, smiling when she figured out which was the clutch. The bike easily rolled into the garage, once Peridot applied logic. She parked it next to her truck – she was still getting used to calling it  _her_ truck – stepping back and putting her hands on her hips, wondering how the hell she would explain this to her mom. Emphasis on mom. Singular.

At six, just like every other day, Emerald arrived home. Peridot sat on the couch, watching Camp Pining Hearts, smiling wryly as she heard the garage door open. A few minutes later, she heard Emerald enter the house. “Peridot?”

“In here!” she answered.

Emerald walked into the living room, her face unreadable. “What’s in the garage?”

Peridot dug out Yellow’s note from her pocket and held it out in reply. Emerald took it, sitting on the couch next to her. She sighed, leaning back against the couch and running a hand through her hair.

“Well,” she said, handing the slip back to Peridot, “At least she almost remembered this time?”

Peridot laughed, “I’m surprised she remembered I exist.”

Her mom didn’t laugh, instead she stood up from the couch and cracked her knuckles. “Let’s go. We’re going to teach you how to drive a motorcycle.”

The two of them spent the rest of the evening prepping the bike and going over safety precautions. Peridot felt as though she was cramming for a test. Counter steering. The safest lane position at a stop light. Never ride in the rain. Watch out for gravel. Use both brakes in moderation.

After Peridot had learned everything she could learn without actually getting on the motorcycle, Emerald tracked down an old helmet that had been stored away in the garage. “Why don’t you give it a go?” she had asked, smiling and tossing the helmet to Peridot.

“But, Mom, I have to be sixteen to drive a motorcycle. And have a special license.”

Emerald laughed, “Well, cops never do anything the first time you get caught. We’ll just say you didn’t know, and that you learned your lesson. Until then…” she pushed the ignition, the motorcycle rumbling to life. Peridot might have one parent, but sometimes she felt like she was being raised by a cool, older sister.

Evenings in the garage became a regular occurrence for the two, both of them eager to expand their mechanical knowledge. Emerald worked on cars, not motorcycles. Peridot was mostly fascinated with rocket engines. But, tinkering on Peridot’s new bike and her old pickup, neither of them particularly cared about deviating from their machine of choice.

* * *

 

It had been a few days since what Lapis and Peridot had dubbed “TV day”, otherwise known as the day Peridot managed to get television in the middle of the _fucking_ woods. To say the least, Lapis was impressed. So were Steven, Connie, and Amethyst, but mostly Lapis.

Peridot had invited her friends over to watch the new episodes of _Camp Pining Hearts_ that were due to air today, but in the meantime, she and Lapis were showing Peridot’s ex-teammates their improvements to the cabin.

Steven and Connie were enthusiastic, asking Peridot questions about her creations. Connie was surprised to see some of Lapis’s paintings hanging proudly on the walls, while Steven smiled knowingly at them.

“I love what you guys did to the place!” Steven said.

Peridot chuckled, “Thanks! So do we!”

Amethyst scrutinized the canine-electric generator that Pumpkin was still using, determined to retrieve the shoe. “You did all this stuff on purpose?”

“Oh yes, this was all very intentional.” Peridot boasted proudly, “But, wait, you have got to see what we made yesterday.”

Lapis took the cue and plugged in the aforementioned contraption. The mess of metal and gears started wildly swinging its arms, and attached paintbrushes, at the board positioned in front of it, smearing paints across it in haphazard, jagged lines.

Amethyst crossed her arms, “What the fuck is that?”

“It makes abstract art,” Lapis explained.

“I don’t get it.”

Steven interjected, “What’s not to get? It’s a machine! Painting!”

“It is pretty creative,” Connie agreed.

“But it’s just a bunch of random shapes.”

Peridot tsked, “That’s where you’re wrong, Amethyst. You see, no action is _truly_ random. Every force, every molecule, every turning gear, influences the result. I intentionally designed it so, in addition to the seemingly erratic movements. It may _look_ disorderly, but, in reality, each stroke is predetermined by the last. A single atom, or the smallest temperature change due to friction, will cause a completely different outcome, all which could be calculated, if one had the time and will to do so—”

Amethyst listened to Peridot’s tangent, still unimpressed with the abstract painting robot, but looking quite entertained by the rise she had gotten. Lapis wanted to be annoyed at Amethyst’s negativity, but Peridot’s ravings were much more engaging.

Lapis smiled to herself as her roommate went off, enraptured by how expressive Peridot was when she got to explaining the nitty gritty of any sort of technology. It was pretty endearing, Lapis thought _._ Peridot’s eyes would light up every time Lapis asked a question, and the quiet, reserved girl she knew would disappear before her eyes and turn into… whatever this was. _She’s so cute_ , Lapis mentally noted, immediately catching herself in the thought. _Wait, what?_

“—So, no, Amethyst, it is a very meticulous machine,” Peridot concluded, crossing her arms proudly.

“Okay, then. What does this painting represent?” Amethyst asked, still unconvinced.

Peridot’s confidence wavered, unsure of how to answer.

Lapis came to the rescue, “It represents you being a buzzkill.”

Just then, the familiar sound of the CPH narrator caught everybody’s attention, the philosophical art debate - and Lapis's gay epiphany - forgotten.

_“On the last episode of Camp Pining Hearts…”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i didn't really like this chapter for some reason, i wrote it when my brain was mushy and slow so that's probably why  
> the next 2 chapters are pretty heavy so buckle up friends ( _jaspis gets a leg to stand on and then i kick it in the kneecap and put it down like a dog_ )


	14. A Hobo is a Man's Job

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is entirely flashback. The next chapter is about 2/3 to 3/4 flashback and much more depressing than this  
> TW homophobia, slurs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today (10/27) is Lapis's birthday in this AU! She's officially not a teenager & therefore banned from Beach City Summer Camp ~~just like her parent's house~~

Lapis forced herself to take deep breaths as she sat on the edge of her bed, willing herself to stop trembling. Her family had just gotten back from Sunday mass. The preacher’s sermon had been all about the evils of sexual deviance, aka, gay people. Lapis felt sick throughout the whole ordeal, especially when she looked at her parents sitting on each side of her and found their heads bowed in prayer. Praying that people like her didn’t exist.

That was how Lapis found herself sitting in her room this particular evening, trying to calm herself down and not hyperventilate so loud that her parents would come to check on her. She had been wracking her brain since they got home, part of her wanting to tell her parents the truth, and another part, which seemed to be winning out, that was screaming at her to never, ever tell them.

“Lapis! Dinner’s ready!” her mother called from downstairs.

Lapis took a deep breath, wiping her sweaty palms on her skirt and quickly composing herself as best she could. She numbly walked down the stairs and took her seat at the table.

“That took long enough,” her mom remarked.

“You better have been working on homework and not those silly drawings,” her dad added.

“Yeah,” Lapis mumbled, barely listening to them. She zoned out as her family said grace, absentmindedly poking at her steak with a fork. Her father’s voice pulled her out of her thoughts.

“What’s wrong? You a vegetarian now or something?”

Lapis looked at her plate, biting her lip. She noticed her hands were shaking and she loudly dropped her fork on the table, clenching her hands into fists and pressing them into the table. She felt like she was going to throw up. Everything in her was screaming to _stop talking_ as the words left her mouth, “I need to tell you something.”

Her parents both stopped picking apart their food, looking at her expectantly.

She swallowed the panic bubbling up from within her chest, barely choking out, “I like girls.”

The sentence hung in the air, which was thick enough Lapis could have cut it with her steak knife. Her dad stared at her blankly, her mother looking down at her plate as they processed the sentence. Lapis flinched as her dad’s laugh cut through the silence, “No, you don’t.”

Lapis’s eyes burned. She didn’t want to have to press the issue further, but she had put it out there, and she wasn’t going to back down this easily. “I’m gay, dad,” she insisted.

“No, you’re not,” he replied, just as adamantly.

“I am.”

“Whatever. Shut up and eat your dinner. You’re upsetting your mother.”

Lapis looked to her mom and found she was holding her face in her hands, shaking and crying quietly. Lapis rubbed her eyes before her own tears could escape, “Mom, please don’t cry,” she rasped.

Her dad’s chair screeched against the floor as he quickly stood, “I said to shut up!”

Lapis gawked at him, shrinking into her own chair at his outburst.

He continued, his face reddening in anger, “You’re going to shut the fuck up, eat your dinner, and we’re going to pretend this conversation didn’t happen.”

“Dad, you can’t just pretend—”

“Go to your room!” he yelled, slamming a hand on the table.

Lapis’s mother had begun to full-on sob, “Andy, please—"

“No, Margo. No daughter of mine is going to be a fucking queer. We put up with this ‘I wanna go to art school’ shit. I’m drawing the line right here.” He pointed to the hallway, glaring at Lapis, “Go to your goddamn room before I make you!”

“But I haven’t even finished my—”

“Now!”

Lapis stood up, knocking her chair over in an attempt to mimic the ungraceful way her father had stood up from the table. She ran up the stairs to her room and slammed the door as hard as she could, hoping the noise would adequately express her anger at the way their conversation went. It didn’t. She pressed her back to the door and allowed herself to start crying.

The sound of her parents’ yelling traveled across the house and penetrated her door. Lapis let herself slide to the floor, pulling her knees to her chest. She felt so, _so_ stupid. Why did she have to tell them? Did she really think they would understand? Why couldn’t she just shut up and be the quiet, obedient daughter they wanted her to be?

Footsteps pulled her out of her state of self-deprecation. She threw herself on her bed, burying her face in the pillow. A knock on her door. “Lapis?” her father’s gentle voice asked. She didn’t reply. The door creaked open as he let himself in.

“Go away,” she said, muffled against her pillow.

His weight settled on the edge of her bed, ignoring her protest. “Sweetie, I’m sorry,” her dad said, putting his hand on her back. “It’s just… you heard what the preacher said today. We don’t want you to choose a sinful lifestyle.”

Lapis sat up, sniffling, “Choose? You really think I would choose this? Do you think I like getting yelled at?”

Andy’s face turned red again as he took a deep breath, “You’re not even fifteen. You’re too young to know anything like this.”

“You met mom when you were fourteen,” Lapis retorted.

His fragile composure was lost again and he raised his voice, “Because we had timers! You could still get one, too! And I’ll be damned if it counts down to a woman’s name.”

Lapis rolled over, turning her back to her father. “Whatever,” she said, mimicking his tone from earlier.

That was apparently the incorrect response, as Andy growled and grabbed her wrist, yanking her out of bed, “Get up. Get up right now!” He dragged her down the stairs as she struggled to keep up.

Lapis tried to twist her wrist out of his grip, “Dad, stop, you’re hurting me.”

He ignored her, hissing between his teeth, “I’m so sick of your shit, acting like an ungrateful fucking hippie.” He let go of her once they reached the bottom of the stairs, stomping off into the kitchen, continuing his rant, “I work my ass off flying planeloads of people across the whole damn planet, and you can’t show me an ounce of respect or gratitude.” Lapis heard his footsteps disappear farther into the house, and then he returned carrying a bulging garbage bag. Andy grabbed her arm again and led her to the front door, flinging it open and hurling the garbage bag on the front lawn, shoving Lapis after it. “You can come back when you’re straight.”

Just like that, the door to her home was slammed in Lapis’s face. She didn’t move from the ground, trembling in shock and listening to the faint sounds of yelling coming from her house. Eventually, the noise subsided, and Lapis figured either of her parents would come outside any minute now, apologizing and ushering her back inside. Except nobody came out to retrieve her. After what felt like ages, all the lights in her house were turned off, leaving her shivering in the darkness. She hadn’t even had a chance to get shoes.

Lapis sat on the doorstep, rubbing her sore wrist. It was sure to be bruised tomorrow. A small, quiet part of her wanted to be excited about this new development. She never had permission to stay out late, and now she had the entire night, presumably. Or, her dad _had_ told her to come back when she was straight – she technically had her entire life to do whatever she wanted. Finally, she brought herself to stand and gather the garbage bag – her father had stuffed it with her clean clothes from the laundry room – and started walking down the street, ignoring the gravel digging into her bare feet.

The night was much more peaceful than the scene she had left behind at home, and for that she was grateful. If she got too cold, she could put on another layer from her garbage bag. She had everything she needed, except for… food, water, shelter… On second thought, Lapis decided this sucked. It must have been the early hours of the morning when Lapis finally decided to stop for the night, hiding in an alley behind a dumpster. She used the bag of clothes as a bed, falling asleep as soon as she closed her eyes.

That morning, she woke up feeling sore all over her body. She stretched and nearly every vertebra in her spine cracked. She wasn’t sure what time it was, but she knew it was Monday, which meant school. Lapis realized she had left her backpack at home. She picked up her garbage bag and started walking in the direction she assumed her school was; she may have gotten a little lost last night. As the neighborhoods became more familiar, she began to search for a place to leave her clothes. Carrying a garbage bag everywhere was not a good idea, unless she was _trying_ to look like a hobo, which she wasn’t. She found a neighborhood on the edge of some forest, stashing her meager possessions in a bush and heading to school.

Lapis arrived late, as expected, and ignored the stares when she walked into class disheveled and barefoot. Okay, maybe coming to school wasn’t a good idea, but what else was she going to do today? Sit on the street and beg for change? She wasn’t ready to embrace the homeless life _that_ much.

Thankfully, Mr. Barry let her borrow a textbook. She lied and said she forgot her backpack at home, ignoring the nagging voice in her head that told her she couldn’t use that excuse every day until she graduated.

By lunch period, Lapis was lightheaded from not eating anything in nearly 24 hours. She sat next to her friend Aquamarine, tuning out whatever drama they were discussing. Somebody she didn’t recognize sat down across from her.

“Lapis,” Aquamarine snapped her back to the present, “This is Jasper. Her family just moved to Beach City.”

“Hi,” Lapis said, not really giving a shit. Jasper smiled at Lapis despite her disregard for the former’s existence. Lapis laid her face on the table, hoping to slip into unconsciousness for a few minutes.

“Hey,” a gravelly voice said, “Do you want my sandwich?”

Lapis’s head snapped up from the table to the girl across from her. Jasper offered her a small smile, sliding the sandwich across the table to Lapis. She grabbed the precious food and scarfed it down like an animal, barely managing to thank Jasper between bites.

That night, Lapis went back to the neighborhood where she abandoned her clothes, falling asleep on the garbage bag just like she had the night before. She would have been worried about wild animals, but she honestly felt as if she could eat an entire deer. Let the wildlife find her.

Day two passed much like the first, with a few minor differences. “I forgot my backpack at home” turned into “I lost my backpack.” Jasper brought two sandwiches to lunch and gave them both to Lapis. She slept in the woods again that night.

Day three was, to say the least, a bitch. Jasper didn’t come to school that day, and Lapis was left to wonder if the extra sandwich was to make up for the absence. After school, she went to the dumpster behind the cafeteria and tried to eat some of the crap she deemed non-fatal for humans. She apparently miscalculated, throwing up the garbage and bile on her walk back to the woods.   

Day four, Jasper came to school, this time with a sandwich and a handful of granola bars that she shared. Lapis used all her restraint to pocket most of the granola bars for later, in case she couldn’t find food again for a day.

Aquamarine sat down next to Lapis, scrunching up her nose. “Lazuli, really, are you an animal? Change your clothes. And shower. Actually, you should go sit outside. You reek like a hobo.”

The other kids snickered at Aquamarine’s jabs, safe for Jasper, who looked highly annoyed at the brat. Lapis crumbled under the disparagement, jumping up from the table and running out of the cafeteria. She could faintly hear Jasper yelling at Aquamarine. Whatever.

Lapis felt absolutely humiliated. She was obviously living in the streets, why the fuck did Aqua have to point out the obvious? To stroke her ego?

Lapis found herself walking away from the high school, across the street, to the elementary school playground. She hid in a plastic play tunnel and curled up, letting herself cry. _Fuck Aquamarine. Fuck my parents. Fuck my life._

As if things couldn’t get any worse, she heard the elementary kids being let out for recess. Great. She was going to be discovered in a tunnel, crying and looking like a homeless drug addict. Hopefully the cops wouldn’t get called on her.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

Lapis looked up and found herself face to face with a young boy, with a kind smile and dark, curly hair. He didn’t look a day over nine, maybe ten. He sat down next to her.

“I’m Steven, by the way.”

“Lapis,” she replied, wiping her nose with her sleeve.

“Why are you crying, Lapis?” he asked gently.

She sniffed loudly, “My friends are mean.” That was an understatement.

“Good friends shouldn’t be mean to each other,” Steven said, frowning. “How about… we can be friends!”

Lapis laughed despite herself. “Okay,” she said, ignoring the nagging voice in her head telling her to shut up, “Do you want to share a granola bar?”

The fourth night, Lapis decided against sleeping in the woods again. People were likely getting suspicious of the barefoot girl who kept wandering into their neighborhood at night, and the last thing she wanted was to 1. Be sent back home, or 2. Be sent to a foster home. She wandered around Beach City, stopping at the city park. She sat on the swing set, thinking about everything and nothing. Aquamarine was a bitch, but she was right. Lapis hadn’t changed or showered since she was kicked out; where was she supposed to put her dirty clothes? In the bag with her clean clothes? She’d need to do laundry, too, eventually.

The sound of the fountain caught her attention and made her hatch an idea. A terrible idea, but an idea nonetheless. _If I take a bath in my clothes does it count as doing laundry?_ Lapis stood up from the swing set and walked over to the fountain, dipping a hand in the water. It was freezing cold. _Whatever_ , Lapis thought, jumping into the water.

The next morning, Lapis woke up in the park feeling like death. She must have gotten a cold last night. Just her luck. If she’d been living at home, still, she would just call in sick and not go to school, but now… school meant food.

School did _not_ mean food, Lapis realized that day. Jasper was again a no-show. She blacked out a few times that day, but nobody seemed to notice. After school, she returned to the park, thankful to find her clothes hadn’t been stolen. She sat on the swing set again, dreading the weekend and what she might have to do for a meal.

“Hey, Lapis!”

She looked over her shoulder and saw the boy from yesterday, Steven. He sat on the swing next to Lapis.

“How are you doing?”

Lapis shrugged. _Starving. Wanting to die. The usual._

Steven looked at her, waiting for a more concrete response than a shrug. When none came, he continued trying to make conversation. “What’s that?” he asked, pointing to Lapis’s garbage bag.

“My bag,” Lapis said simply, voice rough from whatever illness she had given herself.

“Are you sick?” Steven asked, concerned, “You sound like you have a cold.”

“I do have a cold.”

“Then why aren’t you at home resting?”

That question was like a slap in the face, making her eyes burn and water. _Shit, don’t cry in front of a little kid_ , Lapis scolded herself. It was too late, though. The floodgates had been opened. “I can’t go home,” she said quietly.

“Why not?”

“Because—” Lapis choked out, “Because… I’m… gay.” She barely managed to finish the sentence, emphasizing each word with a sob that shook her shoulders.

Steven was quiet, unsure of how to respond. Finally, he spoke up, gently asking, “Do you want to come to my house?”

Lapis gawked at him. “No, it’s okay,” she said. She wasn’t going to go to some random strangers’ house, no matter how friendly their kid was.

“Come on, please?” Steven asked, flashing Lapis a pair of puppy dog eyes, “You can stay for dinner!”

 _Dinner…_ The offer was very tempting. Lapis found herself actually considering it. Then, she found herself agreeing to it. “Okay,” she said.

Steven’s house was interesting, to say the least. It was built asymmetrically, with a generous deck that made it stand out from the other houses in the neighborhood. The haphazard architecture gave it a distinct homely look. As soon as Lapis walked in, she was hit with the smell of cooking food. She honestly couldn’t tell what it was, but the scent made her salivate like she hadn’t eaten in a week. She hadn’t, really.

“Why don’t you go get cleaned up?” Steven said, pointing to a door on the left, “It won’t be ready for a while. Make yourself at home.”

Lapis ignored the implication that was reminiscent of what Aquamarine had said to her at lunch. Steven clearly didn’t mean it maliciously. She stepped into the bathroom, closing the door behind her, and she got a good look at herself in the mirror for the first time in a week. Okay, maybe Aquamarine had a point. Lapis looked like shit. She quickly looked away from the mirror and got to business showering. Lapis never thought she would be so happy for hot, running water. But here she was.

After probably overstaying in the shower, Lapis got dressed, unsure of what to do with her dirty clothes. She wrapped them in her towel, figuring she could get them later. She stepped out into the main room of the house and found Steven, a girl a bit younger than herself, and two grown women staring at her. The younger girl looked away, quickly losing interest, but the two old ones smiled warmly at Lapis. For a second, Lapis wondered if Steven had gay moms.

“Hey, Lapis!” Steven said, running over to grab Lapis’s hand and lead her to the counter. “These are my aunts Pearl and Garnet. That’s Amethyst,” he explained. “She’s basically my sister.”

Lapis felt extremely out of place. “Uh, hi.”

Steven took a seat at the counter and Lapis followed suit. As soon as she sat down, Pearl set a plate in front of her. _Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god_ , Lapis thought. She hadn’t seen so much food in… a week. She quickly dug in, before she might wake up from whatever dream she had slipped into. Lapis felt eyes on her, and in the back of her mind she had the passing thought that _I should be using silverware_ , which was confirmed when Pearl set a fork on the counter by her plate. She had committed herself to eating with her hands, though. She grabbed a fistful of mashed potatoes and tried not to moan at the taste.

“Compliments to the chef,” Garnet mumbled.

Amethyst and Steven were much more enthusiastic about the precedent Lapis had set. “Aw yeah!” Amethyst cheered, grabbing a fistful of her own mashed potatoes. Steven did the same. Pearl looked on in horror, but, if she wanted to say something, Garnet’s hand on her shoulder kept it from being verbalized.

After they had all stuffed themselves, Lapis more so, Steven and Garnet had insisted Lapis stay the night. Neither of the adults said out loud that they knew she had nowhere to go, for which Lapis was grateful. Steven must have filled them in. Pearl brought out more blankets than Lapis could possibly need, all the while apologizing that Lapis would have to sleep on the couch.

“If we had a guest room, you could stay there, but Amethyst claimed it a while ago.”

“This is more than enough, thank you.” Lapis said, feeling guilty to have them fussing so much about her at all.

Pearl heard the cold in Lapis’s voice, “I’ll get you some medicine, too.” Lapis wanted to object, but she got the feeling she didn’t have much of a choice. Pearl gave off strong stubborn mom vibes.

The NyQuil made it much easier to sleep, Lapis noticed as she woke up in the middle of the night, already feeling well-rested. Hushed voices from the kitchen area carried to her ears, and she knew this wasn’t a conversation meant for her to hear. She closed her eyes again, pretending to be asleep.

“We can’t just adopt some random girl off the street…” Pearl’s voice whispered.

Garnet didn’t bother to whisper, her voice naturally low, “We kept Amethyst.”

Lapis heard Pearl laugh and then quickly quiet herself. “Garnet, I’m serious.”

“If you want to kick her out like her parents, you can do it yourself. I won’t.”

A sigh, “I can’t do that. You know I can’t.”

“Then she’ll stay. As long as she needs to.”

Lapis fell back asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and yes Peridot's birthday is 03/02/01 :)


	15. Never Want to Feel (Like I Do with You)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Padparadscha gets with the program  
> TW substance abuse, other shit. Peridot has a lot going on

Emerald drove home from the hospital in a deafening silence. Peridot was in the seat next to her, right arm in a sling, staring at the dashboard with a blank expression. It was terrifying for Emerald to watch her daughter shut down, as if all the life had packed up and moved out. Peridot had been confused, initially, when she woke up. But even that was short-lived when she began to stare off into space as the doctors explained that her leg had to be amputated. Her arm and burns would heal, though, in time.

Peridot had looked at her wrist during the doctor’s talk, frowning. He explained that the timer froze when Peridot flat-lined on the ambulance, that it was a rare occurrence, but not unheard of. He didn’t comment on the short amount of time it had frozen at. The timer, like her leg and unlike her arm, would not repair itself.

After the most uncomfortable car ride of her life, Emerald was pulling into the garage of their house. She turned off the car and sat in silence, waiting for Peridot to _do something_. When her daughter simply kept staring at the glove box, Emerald cleared her throat, “Guess we should go inside…” Peridot blinked. At least it was something.

Emerald stepped out of the car and quickly realized Peridot was not going to move, or even attempt to. Maybe Peridot wasn’t even there, mentally. Emerald walked around to the passenger side, opening Peridot’s door, unbuckling her, and picked her up. She wanted to cry at how easy it was, now that there was less to carry. She managed to make it to the living room, gently setting Peridot down on the couch. Peridot rolled over, facing the back of the couch. At least it was something.

Emerald brushed her daughter’s blonde hair back, kissing her on the forehead. “You’re gonna be okay, sunshine.” Peridot didn’t move for the rest of the day, except when Emerald brought Peridot’s cellphone – which had miraculously survived the lightning strike – and set it on the coffee table. After the buzzing became too repetitive, Peridot rolled over and turned off the phone before returning to her original position. At least it was something.

Nephrite would come by most days and sit on the couch, Peridot’s head in her lap, and they would talk. Or, rather, Nephrite would talk until she ran out of things to say. Then, she would ask Peridot if she wanted to watch the new episodes of _Camp Pining Hearts._ Peridot didn’t respond. Nephrite took it as a yes. She turned the TV on, and Peridot’s eyes would stop staring at the ceiling for the first time that day. At least it was something.

Peridot spoke, probably for the first time since she had woken up in the hospital. “Can we watch reruns instead?”

Nephrite had obliged, a bit confused. Later, she and Emerald would learn that Peridot’s eyesight had been affected by the lightning. She didn’t want to watch the new episodes if she had to go based on sound and the blurry shapes on the screen. Peridot knew the reruns enough that she didn’t need to _see_ them. Emerald took her to an optometrist and Peridot had to get glasses.

One day, during a commercial break, an advertisement for wedding rings played. The man’s timer was counting down and he was buying a ring, before even meeting his soulmate. As he walked out of the jewelry store, he ran into a woman. Their timers beeped in tandem and the man got down on one knee, looking to his wrist for her name so he could address her as he proposed…

Nephrite watched as Peridot cringed, averting her eyes as her lip quivered. It was the first emotion she had seen Peridot express. Nephrite left that day with tear stains on the leg of her jeans.

The first time Peridot left the couch and went farther than the bathroom, she managed to drag herself to the kitchen – she hated to use the temporary prosthetic they had given her – Emerald was at work. Peridot got into the liquor cabinet, relishing in the numbness that the alcohol brought. Her mother could never tell she was drunk, considering Peridot would act exactly the same. Lay on the couch all day and stare into space. No walking around to reveal her unsteadiness. No talking to betray the slur she would have spoken with.

It became a habit, then. At night, when Emerald was asleep up in her room, Peridot would wait. She would wait until Emerald checked on her and returned to bed. Then, knowing it would be an hour or two before her mother checked on her again, Peridot would leave. She would limp to the convenience store near her home, finding this an acceptable reason to wear her uncomfortable temporary prosthetic. She would slip a bottle of cheap wine into her jacket when the cashier was preoccupied and buy a candy bar to cover her tracks. She became exceptionally good at this.

Peridot also discovered that, when you look like absolute shit, you look older. She asked the cashier one night, out of curiosity, “Camel crush menthol.” He obliged without checking if she was eighteen. So, Peridot started smoking, too. 

It was August when Peridot got fitted for a more permanent prosthetic leg, just in time for school. Not that she was at all eager to return. Nephrite hadn’t told a soul about Peridot. Peridot had, as far as her classmates knew, dropped off the face of the Earth. She caught wind of a rumor that she had eloped with her soulmate. It left a bitter taste in her mouth that she rinsed away with liquor.

The night before her first day of Sophomore year, she slept restlessly. She found herself back in the woods, flying down the road on her bike that was now long gone. The smell of gasoline and rain filled her with a familiar and sorely missed euphoria. Then, all she could register was pain, the joints of her knee and ankle being twisted apart, and she found herself motionless in the mud. She looked down and saw flesh, blood, and bone being spit out by the bike chain. She could feel each chunk of flesh being stripped away, the bone grinding into shards and splinters. She felt the sensation of falling and snapped awake. She was in her home. But the pain, the vivid pain that she hadn’t remembered until now, was still there, aching in a limb that was gone. It didn’t _feel_ gone. In her panic, Peridot tried to stand up from the couch, falling when her leg, which she could _feel_ , wasn’t there.

Peridot sat up against the couch, looking at her lower body. The sight of her missing leg made her cringe down to her core and she squeezed her eyes shut, willing her leg to flex, stretch, to just _move._ Anything that could shake away the pain she was feeling there. The unresponsive numbness caused her to wail. How could numbness and pain coexist like this? The flesh on her stump felt restraining, claustrophobic. She punched the coffee table once, and then again. Then she raised her fists to her head and started to hit herself in her frustration. She was sure to have a concussion, but she couldn’t care less about that right now.

Emerald ran downstairs as soon as she heard Peridot fall, finding her daughter a crying and thrashing mess on the floor, beating herself senseless. “Peridot, what’s wrong?” she asked, terrified. She grabbed Peridot’s hands, restraining her. The knuckles on her left hand were bleeding. Peridot tried to fight against her, kicking and hitting, but Emerald held tighter, sitting on the floor and hugging Peridot tightly. “Calm down, sweetheart. It was just a dream.”

Peridot wanted to protest, to tell her mom _No, it wasn’t a dream_ , but she was too exhausted. She went limp in her mother’s arms and resigned herself to the sobs violently wracking her body. The next morning, she didn’t remember falling asleep, nor did she remember Emerald picking her up, laying her back on the couch, and tucking her in.

Peridot was curled up on the couch, staring into space as per usual. Emerald made breakfast and brought a plate to Peridot, setting it on the coffee table and sitting on the edge of the couch. “Do you want to go to school today?”

“No…” Peridot said slowly. Emerald could tell it meant “I don’t want to go, but I could” rather than “I’m not going.”

“Do you _plan_ on going to school?” Emerald asked, reiterating her question.

“I guess.”

“Do you want a ride?”

“No,” Peridot said quickly.

Emerald pulled out her key ring and removed the key to her car, setting it next to Peridot’s breakfast. “Alright, you can drive my car.” _Because you only need one foot to drive it_ , Emerald didn’t say.

Peridot shot upright, anger radiating from her. Emerald was taken aback, seeing the life return to Peridot so abruptly. “What?” she spat, voice filled with venom, “I’m losing my truck, too?”

Emerald backtracked, “No! But… it’s just…” She sighed, mumbling, “It’s a stick shift.”

“So you think I can’t fucking drive it? You think I’m some helpless cripple?”

Before Emerald could answer, Peridot was growling and putting on her leg. She got off the couch and hobbled angrily to the garage, “I’ll fucking show you.” Peridot grabbed the key to her truck off the hook by the door, Emerald hurrying after her.

“Peridot, stop.”

Her daughter didn’t listen, instead hauling herself into the driver’s seat of the pickup and starting it. She pushed the button to open the garage door and Emerald cringed as she heard the engine rev loudly, the vehicle slowly rolling back as Peridot tried to ease off the clutch with her prosthetic. Peridot seemed equally startled by the sound and let off the gas too abruptly, stalling the engine. She started it again, stalling a second time. Emerald was waiting for Peridot to try a third time, but instead, she dropped her head against the wheel and began to cry.

Emerald approached cautiously and opened the door, “Peridot, come on.” Peridot made no move to get out, so Emerald pulled her out of the seat and carried her inside like their first trip home from the hospital. She laid Peridot on the sofa, “I’ll admit, you proved me wrong.”

Peridot scowled, wiping snot from her nose, “Shut up.”

“No, I mean it. That was really good!” Emerald said, ignoring the skeptical glare she earned from her daughter, “You actually walked outside the house without help, and if you weren’t so mad and out of practice, you wouldn’t have stalled.”

Peridot was quiet, staring at the back of the couch. Emerald could tell she was mulling it over, unsure if she wanted to accept the praise.

Emerald brushed Peridot’s bangs out of her face, “If you don’t go to school today, I won’t be mad. I love you, sunshine.” She picked up her key from the table and headed out, leaving Peridot to herself.

As the sound of her mother’s car faded away, Peridot pulled herself off the couch and... got ready for school. She slipped her bottle of wine into her backpack, figuring she would need it to get through the day.

When she pulled into the parking lot - after a very trepidatious drive - she immediately became aware of the stares being thrown her way. She parked and stumbled out of her pickup, limping into school. A teacher was waiting at the door to give her a sheet with her locker number and classes. Peridot took the sheet without thanking the teacher and step-stomped to her locker, ignoring the looks. Nephrite appeared beside her.

“Hey!” she said, “Didn’t think you’d be coming today.”

Peridot shrugged. “S’ now or later…” she mumbled, “Rather get it over with.” Nephrite was going to ask Peridot what "it" referred to, only to be answered by a voice calling from across the hall.

“Peridot!” Padparadscha. She hustled over to them, “Why didn’t you drive your motorcycle? It’s such a beautiful day! Oh, and tell me everything about your soulmate. What’s her—”

Padparadscha didn’t get a chance to finish the question, Peridot’s fist colliding with her eye and cutting the sentence short. A hush fell over the hallway as Padparadscha stumbled backwards, falling on her rear.

Peridot glared down at her, the cuts on her hand from last night having been reopened. “I’ll see you later, Neph,” Peridot said, slamming her locker closed and walking away as if punching a fellow student was the most natural thing in the world.

Padparadscha started crying, “What on Earth was that? I’m going to tell—!”

Nephrite kneeled down, covering the other girl’s mouth. “Please, Paddy, I’m so sorry. She didn’t know what she was doing.” Nephrite lowered her voice, trying to avoid revealing too much to the kids who were watching the scene unfold, “She’s all fucked up, some bad shit happened last year. Please, _please_ don’t get her in trouble.”

Padparadscha looked skeptical. “She just assaulted me,” she protested.

Nephrite hauled Padparadscha back to her feet, “I know, I know. Here, let’s go get some ice for that eye. Just please, don’t get her suspended. She’s been cooped up in her house for months.”

Padparadscha sighed, relenting, “Okay, but if she does anything again—”

“She won’t,” Nephrite replied quickly, leading Padparadscha away from the scene.

Peridot had stormed off to the bathroom, rinsing the blood off her left hand, trying and failing to not look at the timer. She swallowed down the bile that rose in her throat at those _stupid fucking numbers_ , retreating to a stall and cracking open her bottle of liquor. She was glad she had the forethought to bring it.

Every day after that, the stares remained, perhaps even increased after what Peridot had done to Padparadscha. Peridot learned the school was split into two groups: those who were afraid of her, and those who made fun of her. Alcoholic. Drug addict. Cripple. Numerous other names that Peridot didn’t bother to remember. One day, when she was returning to class from a bathroom break – aka, a smoke and drink break – she heard a student mumble “Peggy” under their breath. Peridot was too faded to bother punching them, though.

 

* * *

 

Lapis was relaxing on the edge of the stream, pencil moving deliberately across the page of her sketchbook. That morning, Peridot had been sitting on the floor, Pumpkin in her lap, jumping up to lick Peridot’s face while she laughed. The image had stuck with Lapis, so here she was, sketching it out. Maybe she would give the page to Peridot when it was done. Lapis could imagine how excited Peridot would be. _She’ll probably frame it_ , Lapis thought to herself, smiling. She was so engrossed in the sketch that she didn’t hear footsteps approaching behind her.

“Hey, beautiful,” a familiar voice said, as its owner sat down next to Lapis.

“Hi, Jasper,” Lapis said, not looking up from the paper.

Jasper leaned closer to her, looking over her shoulder, “What are you doing?”

“Drawing.”

Jasper hummed in disinterest, scooting closer. She wrapped an arm around Lapis’s waist. “I can think of better things to do.”  (sound of me gagging in the distance)

It was Lapis’s turn to hum in disinterest. Jasper ignored it, kissing her on the neck. It gave Lapis goosebumps, and not in a good way. “Do you mind?”

“Aw, come on, babe,” Jasper protested.

Lapis set her jaw, “I said no.”

Jasper huffed, tightening her grip on Lapis’s waist. “We haven’t done it since we came to camp! Is that stupid dog picture more important than your girlfriend?”

“At least the dog knows what no means,” Lapis mumbled.

“What the fuck is your problem?” Jasper spat, reaching for the sketchbook.

Lapis moved the sketchbook away before Jasper could snatch it, tugging out of Jasper’s grip in the process. She stood up, indignant, “What’s _my_ problem?”

“You’re being a prude!”

“You’re being pushy!”

Jasper frowned, looking at the ground and picking at some grass, “It’s like you don’t even love me anymore.”

Lapis said the words before she could realize what she was saying, “I don’t.”

Jasper looked at her in shock. “What?”

No taking it back now, Lapis thought. Sometimes, the things we say on impulse are just a truth we won’t admit to ourselves otherwise. “I said I don’t love you. You’re mean and crazy and pushy. So fuck off.”

“Lapis—”

“We’re _done_.” Lapis spun around on her heel and stomped back towards her cabin before Jasper could say anything else.

Lapis walked into the cabin in a daze. Peridot looked up when the door opened, sitting on the floor with a screwdriver and some new invention, smiling brightly, “Hey, Lapis!” The smile dropped quickly as Peridot noticed the look on Lapis’s face. She clambered up from the floor, “Hey, what’s wrong?”

Lapis’s brain was still trying to catch up, but her body choked out a sob. Then another, and another, until she was bawling. Peridot led her to her bed, both of them sitting down. Lapis snaked her arms around Peridot’s middle and buried her face into Peridot’s shoulder, soaking the green t-shirt with tears.

Peridot hugged Lapis, rubbing her back. “What’s wrong?” Peridot repeated.

Lapis sucked in a ragged breath, “Jasper… dumped…”

“Jasper broke up with you?” Peridot asked, sounding incredulous. She couldn’t fathom why anybody would break up with Lapis.

Lapis shook her head, “No, I—” she choked out between sobs.

“You dumped Jasper?”

Lapis cried harder, confirming Peridot’s question.

“Oh.” Peridot said, “I’m… sorry?”

Lapis would have laughed if she wasn’t already preoccupied with crying. What did Peridot have to be sorry for? It’s not like she made Lapis and Jasper’s relationship turn sour. Although, the more Lapis thought about it… the issues did seem to have a common thread.

 _“You need to redeem yourself.”_ Jasper was mad about Peridot.

 _“Jasper, this is fucked up.”_ Jasper tried to hurt Peridot.

_“It’s like you don’t even love me anymore."  "I don't."_

Lapis’s thoughts were interrupted by a scratching at her legs. She looked at the floor to see Pumpkin, whimpering in concern. He was trying to jump onto her lap, but his legs were too small. Peridot picked up Pumpkin and granted his wish, setting him down on Lapis’s legs. He immediately licked Lapis’s face. She couldn’t help but laugh and scratch the puppy’s ears. She could see Peridot watching her in her peripheral vision.

Lapis realized she was really, really happy that she had gotten kicked off the yellow team. If she had to go back to a cabin with her ex-girlfriend… she didn’t know what would happen. Instead, she got to come home to kind, caring, funny Peridot. Peridot who holds her and rubs her back while she ugly cries and gets snot all over Peridot’s shirt. Peridot who she adopted a dog with. Peridot who built an air conditioner and installed it by Lapis’s bed, because she knew Lapis couldn’t stand the heat.

The girl in question reached over, scratching Pumpkin’s chin. The glint of Peridot’s frozen timer caught Lapis’s eye.

_And she’s single…_

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lapis thinks Peridot's soulmate is dead and fuck if she ain't about to take advantage of a golden opportunity


	16. Nervous Wreck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tim·er jit·ters  
> ˈtīmər/ˈjidərs/  
> noun  
> 1\. a phenomena in which a person experiences extreme anxiety as his or her timer nears zero, oftentimes causing one to seek out their soulmate or pace back and forth  
> "His timer jitters compelled him down the street and he walked into a pole"  
> 2\. a phrase I just fuckin made up

The evening after Lapis dumped Jasper happened to be the midsummer dance. Lapis was busying herself getting ready. She had packed a suit just for the occasion. Black slacks, a white button-up, and a dark blue paisley vest. She could feel Peridot’s eyes on her as she smoothed out the sleeves, but when she looked over her shoulder, Peridot had her nose in a book.

Peridot was lying in bed with a t-shirt and plaid pajama pants. She made no move to get ready for the dance, so Lapis asked, “Aren’t you going?”

“Not really my thing,” Peridot grumbled, “Dancing. And I don’t feel like fourth-wheeling with Stevonnie and Amethyst.”

Stevonnie was their codename for Steven and Connie, who had become inseparable as of late. A package deal, if you will. Still, Lapis didn’t want to leave Peridot to mope around the cabin by herself. “What about two wheels?”

“What?”

Lapis coughed, “I mean, like, we could go together…” Peridot stared at her blankly. _Smooth, Lapis_ , she thought to herself, quickly adding, “… as friends?”

“Oh… uhm,” Peridot stuttered, “Okay.” She hopped out of bed and her face dropped, “I didn’t bring anything… nice… to wear.”

Lapis wracked her brain, “I think Pearl might have some stuff at her cabin, want me to go with you?” Peridot nodded and Lapis grabbed her jacket before they headed out.

A time skip later, Lapis and Connie were waiting in the living room of the pink team’s cabin while Peridot, Amethyst, Steven, and Pearl dug through some outfits in the bedroom. Just as Lapis predicted, Pearl had a trunk of clothes that she kept on hand.

Steven dug out some slacks and a green vest, “Oh, you should wear this, Peridot. It _suits_ you.”

Peridot frowned, “I don’t know. Lapis is already wearing a suit. I don’t want to copy her.”

Amethyst snickered, “Yeah, way to coordinate with your date.”

Peridot was about to make a snappy rebuttal when Pearl pulled something out of the trunk.

“How about this?” Pearl asked.

Amethyst and Steven exchanged skeptical glances, both of them sure that Peridot would reject something that would show her leg, but Peridot scratched her chin. Would she really want to wear something so… revealing? It wasn’t promiscuous, per se, but it was sure to out Peridot as an amputee. Her lightning scars would be partially visible, as well. Then again, what did she have to hide from? Her friends knew what happened to her. Lapis knew about her leg. Peridot’s mind was made up, “That’s perfect.”  

When Peridot entered the living room, Lapis was preoccupied with staring off into space until Peridot’s voice pulled her out of her thoughts.

“What do you think?”

Lapis’s brain short circuited as she took in the simple yellow dress. It reached just past Peridot’s knees. The straps, modest as they were, showed more shoulder than Lapis had seen on Peridot in her life. Lapis tore her eyes away from the striking mark on Peridot’s right shoulder, making a mental note to ask about it later. It looked pretty cool as far as scars went, and it just made it all the more difficult for her to not stare at the exposed flesh. _Shoulders, Lazuli? What are you, twelve?_ She tried to respond to Peridot’s question but it caught in her throat, so she settled for a thumbs up and hoped she wasn’t blushing too much. _Don’t get a nosebleed, don’t get a nosebleed, don’t get a nosebleed._

Amethyst snorted behind Peridot, “Just a thumbs up, huh?”

Lapis hooked Peridot’s elbow and whisked her out the door before Amethyst could make Lapis any more embarrassed than she had herself.

When Lapis and Peridot got to the cafeteria, the place was boppin’. Sour Cream was DJ’ing while everybody bumped and grinded. A few people looked in Lapis and Peridot’s direction, staring at Peridot’s leg. Peridot steeled herself, ignoring the looks. Lapis spotted Jasper in the midst of the crowd and pulled Peridot in the other direction, towards an empty area of the cafeteria. She spun around and took Peridot’s hands, swinging their arms back and forth, trying to look as ridiculous as possible to cover up her nerves. Peridot laughed, but Lapis couldn’t hear it over the music. Steven, Connie, and Amethyst joined them after a few songs of dancing like a couple of morons. _So much for two wheels_ , Lapis thought.

“This is so lit!” Amethyst exclaimed.

Peridot went to get punch for their group, but came back with three cups instead of five. She handed drinks to Amethyst and Lapis. “Sorry,” she said to Steven and Connie, “Somebody turned it into adult punch.”

Steven frowned, “But you’re only seventeen.”

Peridot nonchalantly sipped from her cup, “I can’t hear you, the music is too loud.”

Lapis and Amethyst exchanged looks. Steven and Connie walked away to go dance together, leaving the three older teens to their drinks. They saw Garnet carrying the punch bowl away and sipped their spiked punch casually, hoping Garnet wouldn’t confiscate their drinks.

A slow song came on and Lapis set down her punch, offering Peridot her hand, “May I?”

Peridot giggled, “Sure.” She let Lapis lead her to the dance floor. Lapis placed her hands on Peridot’s waist and Peridot put her hands on Lapis’s shoulders. “I still can’t dance,” she joked.

“Stand on my feet, then,” Lapis said, smirking. Peridot obliged.

Peridot tried to look at anything except Lapis. Every time she caught Lapis’s brown eyes, she would blush. If Lapis wasn’t doing all the footwork, Peridot would have tripped. She cleared her throat, “Is this the song from _Thirteen Reasons Why_?”

Lapis snorted, “Yeah.”

“That’s so depressing,” Peridot said, smiling.

Lapis opened her mouth to respond but a hand on Peridot’s shoulder halted their dance and conversation. “Mind if I cut in?”

Peridot’s head snapped around to glare at Jasper. “Yes, go away,” she snarled, fingers digging into Lapis’s shoulders. Lapis blushed at the change in Peridot’s demeanor, trying not to think about how attractive angry Peridot was. _God, Lapis, stop._

Jasper seethed, about to respond, when Garnet appeared. “Is there a problem here?”

Jasper smiled sickly sweet, “No, Peridot and I were just about to dance a little bit! Right Lapis?” Jasper yanked Peridot away, the latter looking over her shoulder to frown at Lapis. Both of them were a bit shocked. They had assumed Jasper wanted to dance with Lapis. Somehow, this was worse.

Peridot begrudgingly put her hands on Jasper’s shoulders, the height difference making it awkward for both of them.

Jasper smiled, “How did you like the punch?”

Peridot pursed her lips. “So, it was you who spiked it?”

“Guilty,” Jasper laughed. She cleared her throat, “I hope you don’t plan on operating any machinery this time.”

Peridot’s blood ran cold. “This time?”

“Oh, don’t bother playing dumb. Last time you did that, you lost your leg.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Jasper smirked, “Does she know what really happened?”

Peridot was silent.

“I figured,” Jasper scoffed, “You wouldn’t get sympathy if she knew it was your fault.”

“It wasn’t my fault,” Peridot protested.

“Driving drunk?” Jasper laughed, “Yeah, I think that’s your fault.” She lowered her voice, “Lapis might be falling for you and your little cripple act, but I could tell her the truth. If you don’t watch your step, let’s just say you might be endangering your other leg. I’m not going to sit by while you mislead my girlfriend.”

Just like that, Peridot was pissed again. She put on a brave face, ignoring the voice in her head that was screaming _How the fuck does Jasper know?_ and smirked up at the brute, “Girlfriend? Last I checked, she dumped you.”

Jasper’s glare burned Peridot, she was about to respond when Lapis interrupted, pulling Peridot away from Jasper, “Okay. You got to dance with her. Now leave.”

Jasper raised her hands in surrender, flashing a fake smile. “Of course.” She disappeared into the crowd.

 

* * *

Peridot paced around the fire pit anxiously, pausing every so often to poke at the burning wood. “This is it. This is really it. Tonight’s the night.”

Nephrite was sitting in a mesh folding chair, sipping a Busch Light. “Chill out, dude. I know. We all know.”

Peridot spun around to face Nephrite, “I feel so nauseous, though. And there’s still three hours left. Isn’t it supposed to get worse the later it goes?” The _it_ Peridot was referring to was timer jitters. She was currently suffering from one of the worst cases Nephrite had ever seen.

Nephrite stood up and grabbed Peridot, looking her in the eye. “Calm. Down.” She handed Peridot her beer, “Here, finish this, you need it.”

Peridot looked at the can skeptically, before tossing her head back and downing the entire thing, flexing on Nephrite. She threw the can in the fire, eyes twinkling with mirth.

Nephrite rolled her eyes and muttered under her breath, “Drinkie McGee.”

Soon after, people began arriving to the party. Somebody started blasting music from their speakers. Peridot tried to join in on the festivities, hoping she didn’t look like as much of a nervous wreck as she felt. By midnight, a large crowd had accumulated. Random people would occasionally slap Peridot on the back, congratulating her in advance while she smiled half-heartedly, fingers twitching.

Around 1am, Peridot ended up in Nephrite’s chair again, running her hands through her hair and hyperventilating.

Nephrite noticed and tried to calm Peridot down, “Dude, she’s not gonna want to be with you if you’re acting this neurotic.”

“I can’t help it, it feels so bad.” Peridot complained, leaning back in the chair and pulling her messy hair, “Is it supposed to feel this bad? What if she’s not coming? What if my gut is telling me to leave?”

Nephrite groaned, “Peridot. We’ve been planning this since your timer showed up, like, three years ago. Fate has had plenty of time to put things in place so she ends up here.”

Peridot started to protest, “But—”

“Listen,” Nephrite said, cutting Peridot off, “Maybe you feel so bad because she’s still far away. There’s a lot of reasons why. Maybe she got lost. Maybe she’s on a plane two hours away and the plane will crash into this clearing, leaving only her as a survivor. You’ll pull her from the wreckage and she’ll look at you like she’s seeing the sun for the first time, even though her femur is sticking out of her leg and her family just died.”

That didn’t help to ease Peridot’s nerves. “That’s horrible, Neph, why would you say that?”

“I’m just saying, anything is possible.” Nephrite swiped a bong from a boy walking past them.

“Hey! Give that back!”

“In a second,” Nephrite said, handing the bong to Peridot, “Here, calm your frazzled nerves, my love.”

Peridot rolled her eyes, taking a hit. She coughed and handed the bong to the guy waiting impatiently. “I still feel bad,” she said, despite relaxing into the chair.

Nephrite patted her on the shoulder, “I’ll get you another drink.”

Peridot sighed, picking at the fabric of the chair. Her head spun madly, something deep in her chest pulling her to leave. It reminded her of an old story her mom would tell her. Something about “the red string of fate” that binds soulmates, the tension of the string increasing with each passing second. Peridot thought it was just a stupid children’s story – everybody knew soulmates were bound by timers, not some invisible string – but the anxiety swirling inside her was making her second guess.

Nephrite came back with a Bud Light, interrupting Peridot’s train of thought. Peridot took the can and chugged the good half, ignoring the look Nephrite gave her as she left, twirling the can to stir up the bitterness that always settles at the bottom. Peridot stood up and started to pace around the bonfire, occasionally throwing progressively larger sticks into the flames. It started to sprinkle lightly, making Peridot shiver. She stepped closer to the fire, which had grown sizably from the excessive firewood. Peridot was about to throw a heavy log into the flames when she felt a hand on her shoulder, “Alright, calm down, you pyromaniac. Come smoke with us.”

Peridot followed Nephrite to a small circle of kids who were passing around a joint. One boy punched Peridot’s shoulder, handing her the weed, “How ya feeling?”

Peridot took a hit and passed it to Nephrite. “Really nervous, like a storm is coming—”

Somebody in the circle cackled, “Yeah, ‘cause it’s raining, dumbass.”

“—And I’m really fucking drunk,” Peridot said, legs wobbling.

“You’re going to wake up in your soulmate’s bed tomorrow and not remember her name,” Nephrite laughed.

Peridot smirked, “That’s what the timer is for.” The group of kids “oohed” like the principal just pulled somebody from class. Everybody went back to making small talk while Peridot shifted her weight from foot-to-foot. She checked her phone and timer. 1:49am, just passing 50 minutes. “Nephrite,” Peridot complained, “I really need to go.”

Nephrite frowned, “Peridot—”

“I feel worse every second. I need to go.”

Nephrite sighed, pinching her nose. “Alright, okay. Go. Trust your gut.” She fist-bumped Peridot.

“Thanks,” Peridot said, already walking to her bike. She mounted it and hesitated with her thumb on the ignition. She felt conflicted. Every fiber of her being was telling her to go, safe for a small voice that was telling her to listen to Nephrite. _Fuck it_ , Peridot thought, hitting the button, the bike rumbling to life. As she was leaving the clearing, people cheered. _I’ll give you something to cheer for_ , Peridot thought, smirking as she popped a wheelie.

As Peridot whizzed around the winding dirt road towards Rockford, she mentally noted not to drink and ride again. It was a bit much to balance a whole motorcycle when she couldn’t even walk in a straight line. A few miles outside Rockford, she checked her timer. 30 minutes. _What the fuck? Is my soulmate Bigfoot?_ She felt tingly all over her body, but credited it to the joint. _Damn, this is some strong weed…_

All Peridot could register was _cold_. Her ears rang loudly. She opened her eyes and felt moisture drip into them, making her blink quickly. She couldn’t _see_. She closed her eyes tightly, opening them a second later. Still nothing. Perhaps it was just too dark? Something told her that it was nighttime. She became aware of the ground under her back, cold and soggy. She sniffed, registering the smell of unfamiliar smoke mixed with something more familiar. Overall, it was highly unpleasant, nothing like the campfire smell she enjoyed. Peridot wondered why campfires came to mind. Déjà vu, but she couldn’t put her finger on it.

 

* * *

 

They watched Jasper’s bleach blonde mane disappear into the crowd. Lapis realized she still had an arm around Peridot. She let her it drop to her side and cleared her throat, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” Peridot said, still frowning and watching the crowd.

“Do you wanna dance some more?”

“Not really.”

Lapis took Peridot’s hand and led her through the back door of the cafeteria, where she’d found Peridot after ruining the plant. It seemed like ages ago. “What did Jasper want?”

Peridot laughed, “Oh, you know. Empty threats.” She bit her lip. _Are they really empty, though?_

Lapis turned to face Peridot directly, worry written on her face, “She threatened you?” Lapis asked. “For what?”

Peridot leaned against the building, trying to take the weight off her sore stump. _Note to self: Don’t dance_. “She seems to think you’re in my league. Quite insulting, really. I can see why you dumped her.”

Lapis sighed, looking at the ground and kicking a rock, “I think you’re the one who’s out of my league. I mean, I’m getting you harassed by football players. You should raise your standards.”

Peridot scoffed, “Please, if she tried anything, you’d never take her back.”

Lapis’s head snapped up, “I wouldn’t ever take her back.”

“Sorry,” Peridot backtracked, “I didn’t mean—”

“No, it’s okay.” Lapis let out a deep breath. “I know what you meant. It’s just…” Lapis met Peridot’s eyes. “I don’t like Jasper anymore.”

Peridot blushed and it was her turn to look at the ground. Lapis stepped closer and cupped Peridot’s face, the latter looking at her again. Lapis placed her other hand against the building behind Peridot, trapping the shorter girl. Lapis leaned in, closing her eyes as lightning flashed in her peripheral. She felt Peridot’s breath against her face and heard it hitch.

Moments later, the thunder reached them and Peridot jumped with a squeak. Lapis’s eyes snapped open and she dropped her hands. They stared at each other for a long moment. Suddenly, it began to pour. Lapis took Peridot’s hand, “Let’s go home.”

The only thought Peridot could formulate was, _Home?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yikes honestly this chapter has been "done" for like 2 days but my lazy ass was too lazy to proofread it until now, when i should be doing something about my D in calculus esp considering i'm gonna go PARTY AND GET DRUNK AS A MOTEHRFUCKER tomorrow night so homework will have to wait til saturday/sunday  
> life is all about the mistakes tho


	17. When it Rains

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It pours

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this whole chapter is just a big fucking OOF

It was easy for Peridot to tell what was happening. She’d never been very socially perceptive, but she would have to be dumb and blind to not know that Lapis had it bad for her. Lapis’s reaction to her dress had said plenty. And Peridot was 90% sure Lapis had just tried to kiss her. The 10% was because she couldn’t wrap her head around why Lapis would want to do such a thing. Maybe she had something on her face? The worst part of it all was Peridot had begun to lean in herself, before the thunder interrupted.

This was the worst part because, as Peridot and Lapis walked back to their cabin in the rain, Lapis’s jacket around Peridot’s shoulders, Peridot’s thoughts were swirling like a tidepool of doubt and self-loathing. Peridot felt infinitely stupid for letting this happen. She was trailing a step behind Lapis, her roommate holding her hand and leading her. Every so often, she would catch the glint of her timer when she looked at their clasped hands. _You can’t be selfish_ , Peridot chided herself, _she’s not yours and you’re not hers. What happens when you find your soulmate? You’ll just hurt Lapis. She doesn’t deserve that…_

Jasper may be an asshole, but Peridot had to admit that she had a point. Peridot felt sick when she wondered what Lapis might think about everything. Her leg, her timer, and as of tonight, the burn scars. Lapis probably assumed Peridot’s soulmate was dead. Why else would she have tried to kiss Peridot? Everybody knew you didn’t get in the way of timers. But Peridot’s was broken. Only Lapis didn’t know it was broken on Peridot’s end.

Pumpkin greeted them at the door of the cabin, whimpering as thunder shook the small building. Peridot flinched at the sound, leaning down to pick up the dog. “You and me both,” she muttered. Lapis flashed them a concerned look.

“You should dry off. You’re going to catch a cold,” Lapis busied herself with something in the refrigerator, keeping her back turned so Peridot could change, microwaving some chocolate milk as she listened to the sound of fabric rustling. When she heard Peridot sit down on her bed, she turned around, taking a mug to Peridot. “Here, hot coco.”

Peridot, now in her pajamas, took the mug, chewing on her lower lip. Lapis started towards her bed. “Lapis,” Peridot said quietly. The blue haired girl stopped, giving Peridot her attention. “I…” Peridot wasn’t sure how to continue, “… need to tell you something.”

Lapis looked at her quizzically, sitting down beside the shivering girl. “Okay.” She tried to keep her voice steady, hoping Peridot wasn’t about to scold her for the botched kiss attempt. It sounded like Peridot was about to tell her something disappointing.

Another roll of thunder shuddered through the air. Peridot pulled a blanket around her shoulders, hoping the action would hide her flinch. “It was during a thunderstorm.”

“What?” Lapis asked.

“My accident. I was, uh, struck by lightning. That’s what the scar on my shoulder is. I went into cardiac arrest a couple times.” She laughed sadly, “Too bad I wasn’t old enough to buy a lottery ticket.”

Peridot looked absolutely miserable. The sight made Lapis’s heart ache.

“My life kind of went to shit after that,” Peridot continued. Lapis was shocked at hearing Peridot swear – she didn’t think her roommate had a single profane word in her vocabulary. “I guess it was already heading that way, but the illusion of having my shit together came crashing down. I started drinking all the time. Not for fun, but because it was numbing.” She heaved a sigh, “I guess I thought if I couldn’t feel anything at all, I would forget I couldn’t feel my leg anymore.”

Lapis wanted to ask Peridot to get to the point, but she held her tongue. How many times had Peridot opened up to her like this? Once? Never? She couldn’t say.

“Everybody assumes my soulmate died,” Peridot said, rubbing at the timer on her wrist, “but I guess I just missed her. Sometimes I wonder if, maybe, there’s somebody out there whose timer is frozen at 5:17, just like mine. But… I don’t know if I want my soulmate to think I’m dead. She probably met somebody else, and settled down. Maybe that’s for the best. I—” she met Lapis’s eyes and quickly looked away, “—don’t think anybody would appreciate being fated for damaged goods.”

Lapis’s mind was reeling, replaying a mantra of _cardiac arrest_ over and over. She connected the dots. “You mean, your timer is frozen, because you…”

“Yeah.”

Lapis stared at the floor. “That… really sucks.” _For me_ , Lapis thought.

Peridot sighed, “Everyone tells me not to worry about it, that everything is just going to magically fall into place, but I—” she met Lapis’s gaze for a second before looking away, “—I don’t know anymore. I don’t get the luxury of… choosing who I want to be with. Not like you do. Everything was decided for me when this showed up.” Peridot stared at her wrist.

Lapis deflated, “I’ve never considered being timerless a luxury.” _Especially now_.

“Well, I do.”

An awkward, heavy silence stretched between them until Lapis spoke up, “I’m sorry.”

Peridot looked at her in confusion, “For what?”

“For earlier. I didn’t—”

“It’s okay, Lapis,” Peridot cut her off, “You didn’t know. You couldn’t have.”

They both sighed, dejected. Another flash of lightning illuminated the cabin and Peridot cringed when the thunder reached them.

“You look exhausted,” Lapis said, “You should go to sleep.”

“I can’t. The thunder—” Peridot cringed when another wave of said thunder rolled through the cabin.

“Here,” Lapis said, taking the mug of hot chocolate from Peridot and placing it on the nightstand, “Lay down.” Peridot obliged, albeit hesitantly. Lapis scooted closer and brushed back Peridot’s rain-soaked bangs and began to hum. Each time lightning flashed, she increased her volume, distracting Peridot from the oncoming noise.

Eventually, Peridot fell asleep, clutching Lapis’s arm. _Well, shit_ , Lapis thought. She tried to pry free but Peridot had a strong grip, even while asleep. She laid down and Peridot subconsciously shifted closer to her. Lapis grimaced and mumbled, “You’re killing me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hav no excuse for taking this long to write barely 1,000 words


	18. Right Place, Wrong Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot and Lapis wonder about Peridot's soulmate. Lapis's ear itches.

Peridot twisted the throttle, grinning as the machine beneath her responded and flew down the road faster and faster. She whipped around the tight corners of the gravel road, feeling her stomach flip from the centrifugal force. The rain soaking her was cool and refreshing. She stood on the pegs and laughed into the wind.

A bright flash from behind her made her jump. Peridot looked over her shoulder and saw a tree in flames. “Holy shit!” she yelled, laughing hysterically. If she’d been a few second slower, that tree would have been her. She twisted back on the throttle again, smiling as the engine rumbled and purred beneath her.

She turned into a sharp corner, nearly dragging her knee in the gravel. She wished somebody was filming, because that was sick. As she pulled out of the turn, headlights came into view. Peridot realized she was too far to the left side of the road and began to panic. She grabbed the front brake and slammed on the back brake, but the bike kept speeding onward. She tried downshifting, to no avail. It felt like trying to run in a dream, though instead of feeling sluggish and unable to speed up, she felt as if she was unable to slow down. Fear locked her elbows and she braced to hit the car. The force sent her over the car and she felt butterflies as she flew towards the ground.

Just before she hit the dirt, Peridot jolted awake in a cold sweat. She was disoriented and felt crowded in her bed. Lapis’s loud snoring was inches away from – oh, so that’s why she felt like her bed was smaller than usual. Pumpkin was snoring from the foot of the bed as well, albeit much quieter than Lapis. Well, Peridot knew why she had a dream about her motorcycle: Pumpkin and Lapis sounded like engines.

Peridot blinked, eyes adjusting to the darkness. It was either very late into the night or very early into the morning. She realized she was twisted around Lapis like a koala. Peridot sighed. _You’re an idiot, Peridot,_ she thought to herself, _Reject her and then sleep with her? What happened to not wanting to hurt her?_ Despite her anger at herself, Peridot had to admit this was very cozy, even if it was the opposite of what she’d hoped to accomplish by telling Lapis about her timer. They had forgotten to light the stove when they got back from the dance, but with herself, Lapis, and Pumpkin all sharing a bed… a fire may have been overkill.

Peridot took the opportunity to examine Lapis’s face. She looked so much younger in this state: jaw slack, relaxed, a bit of drool running down her cheek. Peridot felt a pang of longing in her chest but tried to put it out of mind. Lapis was her friend. It was unfair to lead her on. Peridot wondered what her soulmate might be like – did she have Lapis’s deep brown eyes? Did she snore like Lapis? Was she artsy like Lapis? Peridot hoped so.

She was being selfish, Peridot knew, by letting things go as far as they did – making Lapis _sleep in her bed and cuddle with her_ – when Peridot already had her chance at that once-in-a-lifetime love and had blown it. Lapis had a choice, as Peridot told her earlier, and she certainly didn’t want Lapis to waste it on somebody like Jasper or herself.

Some people believed that only those with timers had soulmates. Others believed most everyone has a soulmate, and only a few are lucky enough to have a timer to streamline the process of selecting a partner. Perhaps soulmates didn’t even exist – maybe fate just selects one of the most compatible people that one will meet in their lifetime, and assigns a timer to let one know that they ought to wait for said person. Although, Peridot doubted that to be the case. If it were, she was certain her timer would have been counting down to when she first saw Lapis at Beach City High School. Instead, she was left wondering who she had missed. Had it been someone on the ambulance? Another patient at the hospital?

Peridot sighed. There was no point in worrying about it tonight, and definitely no point in disturbing Lapis’s sleep to send her to her own bed. Plus, Peridot loathed to admit to herself, Lapis smelled nice, and she might as well enjoy it while it lasts.

* * *

 

 

Lapis awoke to a fly buzzing in her ear and hot air blowing across her neck. She tried to swat the fly away but found her arm pinned. _Oh yeah._ Peridot had gone all Venus flytrap on her last night. Lapis opened her eyes, squinting in the sunlight. Peridot was curled up against her side, breathing on her neck. It gave Lapis goosebumps. She sighed as their conversation the night before came back to her.

_“I don’t get the luxury of… choosing who I want to be with.”_

It had been unspoken, but Lapis understood what Peridot meant: _I can’t choose you._ It was an understandable sentiment, given Peridot’s situation, but Lapis wasn’t happy about it. Somewhere, who knows where, was Peridot’s soulmate, not having a clue how lucky she is to be destined for somebody like Peridot. Lapis felt sick with jealousy when she thought about it. Peridot’s soulmate probably ended up dating somebody else. Somebody who treated her badly – that was nearly a given with people who didn’t end up with their soulmates.

Lapis found the whole situation to be fucking unfair, but what could she do except respect Peridot’s wishes? A sigh from the foot of the bed echoed how Lapis was feeling. She lifted her head and saw Pumpkin staring at her sadly. He probably wanted out of the cabin – he had been cooped up all night and the evening before, after all. Lapis oh-so-carefully pulled her arm out from under Peridot, slowly shifting her weight from the bed to the floor. She paused, taking a moment to look at the sleeping girl. Peridot’s eyes were moving rapidly under her eyelids, indicating that she was in the midst of a dream. _So cute_ , Lapis thought, kicking herself a moment later.

She tip-toed to the door, swearing under her breath when the hinges creaked. Pumpkin ran outside and Lapis spared another glance at Peridot before following Pumpkin, making sure she hadn’t disturbed her sleep. Lapis let the puppy lead the way through the woods, trailing behind him. He chased a butterfly and Lapis tried to commit the image to memory. It would make a good drawing later. Pumpkin caught the butterfly and ate it, Lapis didn’t know if she should laugh or be horrified. Instead, she quoted the first thing that came to mind, “Bentley, no!” Pumpkin looked at her and wagged, as if he understood the reference. When Lapis and Pumpkin returned to the cabin, Peridot was awake. They exchanged awkward glances and quiet ‘hey’s, but a silence soon fell over the cabin.

That evening, Team Pink was having a bonfire. Steven, Connie, and Amethyst had come to the cabin and coerced Lapis and Peridot into going, which was how Lapis and Peridot found themselves sitting on a log, a safe distance – and Pumpkin – between them. Steven and Connie were sitting together across the campfire from them. The two soulmates were whispering jokes between each other and eating marshmallows. Even Lars and Sadie were huddled together, holding hands. The sight made Lapis and Peridot’s hearts ache. Connie shivered and Steven took off his hoodie, lending it to her.

Peridot wrapped her arms around herself, wishing she had thought to bring her own sweater. Amethyst came up behind Lapis and lightly punched her in the shoulder. “Hey, Lapis,” she joked, “Why don’t you give your sweater to Peridot?”

Lapis shot a glance at Peridot, who was shivering, and frowned. She started to pull off her hoodie. “Shut the fuck up, Amethyst,” Peridot snapped. The outburst took everybody by surprise.

Pearl gasped, “Language!”

Lapis hesitated, trying and failing not to take Peridot’s visceral reaction to heart, handing her the sweater. Peridot looked at it skeptically. “You need it more than I do,” Lapis insisted. Peridot took the sweater. Everybody ignored the awkward exchange, carrying on with their conversations, safe for Amethyst and Steven, who were both watching Peridot and Lapis with concern.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the superstition about itchy ears?  
> completely accidental reference  
> ps. pearl and greg are cool with pumpkin


	19. Can't Go Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven and Lapis have a chat.  
> tw for blood and jaspis fluff

The gentle sound of the stream filled Lapis’s ears. Pumpkin was darting around the edge of the stream, tail wiggling through the air as he traced some animal’s scent. Lapis left her shirt and shorts on the ground, running into the water. She let herself float in the cool stream, holding her breath and sinking under the surface before swimming back up for air when her lungs began to burn. She rubbed the water from her eyes and screamed.

“Steven, don’t sneak up on me like that!”

The boy in question smiled sheepishly from the edge of the stream, sitting down and dipping his feet into the water. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you.”

Lapis sighed, “It’s alright.”  

“I’ve been meaning to talk to you,” Steven said, avoiding eye contact.

“About?” Lapis asked.

“I was just wondering… how are things?”

Lapis pursed her lips. She could tell Steven was skirting around his question. “Fine. I guess.” She absentmindedly dragged her hand across the surface of the water, watching the disturbance it made as the ripples spanned out before being washed away by the current.

“It’s just…” Steven pressed, “You seem down lately.” Lapis didn’t look up from the water. “What’s wrong?”

She didn’t feel like burdening Steven with her problems, but she hated keeping secrets from him. Lapis sunk down until the water was lapping at her chin. “I did something bad…” she said, guilt stricken.

Steven raised his eyebrows.

Lapis sighed, “I tried to… kiss Peridot. At the dance. And she told me that her soulmate is alive.” She tried to keep her voice from shaking, “And I slept with her anyway. And now she hates me.”

Steven blushed, “What?”

“Like, sleep-sleep! Ugh,” Lapis corrected quickly.

“I’m sure she doesn’t hate you,” Steven said gently.

“Well, she doesn’t want anything to do with me. That’s basically the same thing,” Lapis snapped.

Steven rolled his eyes, “You know that’s not true, Lapis. She’s been crushing on you for a while now.”

Lapis perked up, “Did she tell you that?”

“No, it’s just obvious.”

Lapis frowned, “It doesn’t matter now. I just have to get over it.” She splashed at the water angrily, immediately going back to moping, “How could I ever compete with a timer…”

“Maybe you don’t?”

Lapis threw him a skeptical look.

“I mean, if her soulmate has a timer, they’ve probably moved on,” Steven reasoned. “Or maybe it’s like Pearl’s timer, you know, one-sided?”

“No offense, Steven, but that didn’t exactly work out well for Pearl.”

Steven scoffed, “My point is: if you care about her, who’s to say you’re not her soulmate?”

“We both know my life sucks too much to be that fortunate.”

A heavy silence stretched between them, broken only by the sound of the water and Pumpkin’s panting. Steven looked like his mind was elsewhere. “She told you how her timer froze, then?”

Lapis squinted at him, “Yeah? Lightning.”

Steven nodded, pursing his lips. “And?”

“And what?”

“Don’t you think it’s… suspicious?”

“What are you talking about?” Lapis asked, irritated.

“You know – you, always going to parties. Peridot – her accident happened at a party...?” He wiggled his eyebrows.

Lapis furrowed her brows. “She didn’t tell me anything about a party.”

“Oh, well. It’s not really for me to tell…” Steven said. Lapis glared at him and he relented. “She didn’t tell you she was leaving a party? The lightning made her wreck her motorcycle.”

Lapis jumped up, the water running off her shoulders. “No! No, she didn’t. She left out most of those details…” Lapis’s mind was reeling. _A motorcycle wreck?_                  

* * *

 

 

The sun was peaking over the horizon when they returned to Jasper’s home. The car ride had been deathly silent. When Jasper came back to the car, dazed, with blood on her arms and face, Lapis had been too afraid to ask _What the fuck happened down there?_ Jasper said she didn’t want to go to the party anymore, and they had turned around, meeting an ambulance down the road on their way back.

They went inside Jasper’s house – her parents were pretty well-off and lived in Europe most of the year, leaving Jasper to her own devices – and Jasper sat down at the table, staring at her hands. Whatever she’d seen in the woods, it had shaken her to her core. Lapis went to the kitchen and made her some tea. Jasper took the cup wordlessly, staring off into space.

Lapis frowned and went to the bathroom, wetting a washcloth. She took it upon herself to wipe the blood streak off of Jasper’s face. Sparing a glance at her girlfriend’s distant eyes, she decided to ask, “What was it?” 

Jasper looked startled, as if she forgot Lapis was even there. She let out a deep breath. “Some drunk idiot,” Jasper said quietly, “She tried driving a motorcycle in this weather—" a rumble of thunder in the distance accentuated Jasper’s point, “—She was pinned under it and her friend, that drunk girl, couldn’t move it.” Jasper paused, glancing at the red washcloth as Lapis scrubbed the dried blood off her hand. “But there was… it was…” she tried to choke out the words, beginning to hyperventilate.

Lapis shushed her, “Hey, hey. You don’t have to talk about it.” She squeezed Jasper’s hand through the rag, “It’s okay.”

* * *

 

Lapis chewed on her lip as she recalled the conversation. Her mind raced to connect the dots. Peridot’s timer. Jasper making her wait in the car. A motorcycle accident. The party she never made it to. A stinging sensation pulled her from her thoughts. “Ow?” she said, holding up her wrist.

_00:00:00:00:03:04_

Lapis blinked.

_00:00:00:00:03:03_

Steven squealed, running into the water to get a closer look, “You have a timer?”

 _What the fuck?_ Lapis thought. She was nineteen – twenty in a few months – timers didn’t show up on people her age. At least, she hadn’t heard of it happening.

“Three minutes…” she mumbled. She looked at Steven, horrified, “What’s going to happen in three minutes?”

Steven smirked up at her, “What do you _want_ to happen?”

Lapis’s heart raced and she ran out of the stream, tripping a few times. She grabbed her clothes and took off towards her cabin in a sprint. Pumpkin chased after her, barking. “Thanks, Steven!” she yelled over her shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hhhhh its happennging


	20. Heart Under My Sleeve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ya'll already know what's going down ;)  
> i will warn there is some nosebleed-inducing sauce in this chapter (and alcohol)

Lapis made it to the cabin with seconds to spare, literally. She ran up the steps – _00:00:00:00:00:02_ – and threw open the door. Peridot was sitting on the floor, back turned, watching TV. Lapis’s ears barely registered the sound of beeping over the television. The numbers were gone from the timer on her wrist:

_Peridot_

Lapis let out a breath she didn’t realize she had been holding, leaning against the doorframe. Her legs felt like Jell-O and she couldn’t tell if it was from the run or the fact that _Peridot was her soulmate._

Speaking of Peridot – she hadn’t noticed Lapis’s presence, too immersed in the latest episode of _Camp Pining Hearts_.

_“Percy, I want to spend the rest of my life with—” Honk-honk, crash._

Lapis willed her legs to move, walking past Peridot and unplugging the TV.

Peridot gaped at her, jumping up from the floor. “What did you do that for? Paulette just got hit by a car as she was declaring her love to—” Peridot noticed Lapis was wearing a swimsuit and blushed, the words dying on her lips.

“Peridot,” Lapis said, ignoring the ego boost she was getting from Peridot gawking at her, “Look.” She held out her wrist.

Peridot grabbed her hand and stared at the timer, scrutinizing it. She took off her glasses and rubbed her eyes in disbelief. When she met Lapis’s gaze, Lapis blushed.

_Oh fuck, her eyes are so pretty._

She slipped her glasses back on and looked at her own wrist.

_00:00:00:00:05:17_

Peridot frowned, “I don’t understand…”

Lapis wrapped her hand around Peridot’s wrist, covering the timer and getting the shorter girl’s full attention. “I – I love you, Peridot. I’m tired of pretending I don’t.” She took a deep breath, “I want to be with you, if – if you’ll have me.”

Peridot looked like she was seeing the sun for the first time. “Oh,” she said, smiling dumbly. “Okay.”

Lapis coughed, “Can I kiss you?”

“I mean, I _am_ your soulmate…”

Lapis giggled, grabbing the collar of Peridot’s green flannel and pulling her in, pressing their lips together. Lapis only had a few moments to savor it before Peridot was pulling away. Lapis made a disgruntled noise and opened her eyes.

Peridot looked doubtful. “Not that I don’t… reciprocate your feelings, but—” she twisted her wrist out of Lapis’s grip, “Are you sure you’re okay with this? The uncertainty? I can’t – I can never give you this kind of proof, or any guarantee.”

Lapis shook her head furiously, “Peridot, I felt this way before any stupid timer said I should. I just… didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to complicate things if you met your soulmate – if there might be somebody more… more _deserving_.” She let out a shaky breath, “But maybe, if you’re mine, maybe I could be yours? I don’t need this—” she held out her own wrist, “—to know how I _feel_ about you. That matters more than a timer. But if you don’t want that – this,” she took a step back, feeling her heart sink, “If you think there’s somebody else you need to find then I’ll underst—”

Peridot closed the distance between them, cutting Lapis off with another kiss. Lapis was surprised but quickly returned the kiss. Next thing they knew, they were falling onto one of their beds, Peridot straddling Lapis.

Eventually, they had to pull back for air. “Peridot,” Lapis said, breathless, “I think this was supposed to happen years ago.” Peridot squinted at her, confused. “At that party outside Rockford—” Peridot’s face was a mixture of horrified and surprised, she sat up. Lapis sat up as well and wrapped her arms around Peridot, hanging onto her, “Jasper and I were going to go, but we got lost and we – we…” She put a hand on Peridot’s prosthetic knee, “… came upon a bad motorcycle wreck, but Jasper told me to—” Peridot cut her off with a kiss again. Lapis realized Peridot was crying and she pulled Peridot closer, if that was even possible.

They went back to making out, pushing and pulling at each other, desperate for the contact. While Peridot felt Lapis up, the latter got to unbuttoning the flannel. Somewhere in the back of Lapis’s mind, she had some half-formed joke about Peridot being a walking stereotype. She slid the fabric over Peridot’s shoulders, taking the opportunity to get a better look at Peridot’s lightning scar.

Peridot noticed Lapis staring, “It’s ugly, I know.”

“What?” Lapis said, offended on Peridot’s behalf, “No, it’s not! It’s—” Lapis blushed, “—It’s really pretty.” The words felt dumb leaving her mouth. She hesitated for a moment before leaning forward and kissing the scar, sucking gently. Peridot moaned, scratching at Lapis’s back. Lapis felt like a shark in bloody water.

Lapis kissed down Peridot’s collarbone, down her chest, tracing Peridot’s bra with her thumb. Her other hand caressed Peridot’s side, moving determinedly downward. Lapis squeezed at Peridot’s hip before reaching for her zipper.

Peridot leaned back, sucking in a breath, her hands leaving Lapis’s body. Peridot was shaking. Lapis couldn’t tell if it was from anticipation or trepidation.

“Hey,” Lapis took Peridot’s hands and squeezed them reassuringly, “We don’t have to do anything you’re not ready for.” Peridot looked surprised at the sudden change in Lapis’s demeanor. “We can wait,” Lapis insisted, kissing Peridot’s knuckles, “I can wait for you.”

Peridot blushed but relaxed nevertheless, she buried her face in the crook of Lapis’s neck, letting out a quivering sigh. “Okay.”

Lapis wrapped her arms around Peridot, hugging her, a hand playing with her messy blonde hair. Lapis noticed Pumpkin across the room, laying on the other bed, his paws crossed. He looked like he was smiling at them.

“Lapis?” Peridot said, muffled against Lapis’s neck.

“Hmm?”

“I love you, too.”

* * *

 

The last bus leaving Beach City Summer Camp bounced down the bumpy roads of rural Delmarva. Lapis and Peridot sat together, hands clasped between them, a squirming duffel bag on their laps. Everybody had known about Pumpkin for a while, but Lapis and Peridot still had the decency to at least _pretend_ they weren’t harboring a canine.

An unspoken _What now?_ hung between them. Peridot had been afraid to ask, but she knew she couldn’t put it off forever, so she steeled herself, “What are you going to do when we get back?”

Lapis slouched into the bus seat, “I don’t really know. I can’t go back to Jasper’s—”

Steven leaned over the seat in front of them, “You can come stay with us again!”

Lapis pursed her lips, “I don’t know, Steven. I think I overstayed my welcome.”

Steven was about to protest when Peridot interrupted him, “You could, uh, stay with me. We have an extra room.”

“Are you sure?” Lapis asked, “Isn’t that a little…”

Peridot laughed, “We’re soulmates. I think it’ll be okay.” The bag on their laps shifted, “Besides, Pumpkin is a two-person job.”

The bus came to a halt outside of Beach City High, where a number of cars and people were waiting to collect their kids. Peridot spotted her mom’s car and felt a mixture of nerves and excitement threatening to choke her. She hurried off the bus after Lapis, stopping to retrieve the rest of their things from the storage compartment of the bus. Lapis let Pumpkin out of the duffel bag and held him so he wouldn’t run off.

“There’s my Dottie!”

Lapis turned around to find Peridot being crushed to death by a woman who Lapis could only assume to be her future mother-in-law.

Peridot’s mother let go of her daughter. “I missed you! How was camp? Did you make a lot of friends?”

Peridot laughed. “Oh yeah, tons,” she said with only a bit of sarcasm.

Lapis decided to introduce herself, walking up behind Peridot. “Hi, Ms. Greene.”

Emerald blinked at Lapis, “Oh, hi. Who are you?”

Lapis shifted Pumpkin to one arm so she could extend a hand, “Lapis Lazuli. I’m Peridot’s… uhm…” She looked to Peridot for help.

Peridot coughed, face red, “My girlfriend.”

Emerald squealed, then looked embarrassed at the outburst. “Oh, I’m sorry, that’s embarrassing. I’m embarrassing my daughter,” she took Lapis’s hand and shook it furiously. It was then that Emerald noticed Pumpkin. “Who’s this?” Pumpkin opened his mouth and let his tongue hang out. Emerald had stars in her eyes.

Lapis bounced Pumpkin, who was sliding out of her grip – he had grown a lot since they first found him – and smiled proudly at her puppy son. “This is Pumpkin. He’s ours.”

Peridot flustered at the words _He’s ours_ and the implication that came along with them. She tried to change the topic, voice shrill, “Mom, can Lapis stay with us!?” she yelled.

Emerald looked at Peridot blankly. “Of course she can, but please don’t yell. We’re right here.” Emerald took Pumpkin from Lapis, “I’ll hold him while you two load your bags in the car.” She lifted Pumpkin above her head, cooing at him and praising him for being such a handsome boy. He drooled and it fell on Emerald’s face.

Lapis and Peridot stuffed their bags in the trunk. Lapis beamed at Peridot, “She seems nice.”

Before heading out of Beach City, they made a detour to Jasper’s house. “Do you want me to come with?” Peridot asked, concerned.

“No,” Lapis said, “It’ll only be a few minutes.” She took the empty duffel bag that they smuggled Pumpkin in. As she neared the door, she could hear the sound of a television inside. Jasper had taken the earliest bus back to Beach City. Lapis let herself into the house that used to be something of a home to her.

Jasper looked up from the sofa, scowling at her and taking a drink from a bottle of liquor.

Lapis pursed her lips. “That’s pathetic,” she said, adding, “and hypocritical.”

“At least I know not to drive in this state.”

Lapis rolled her eyes and went into the bedroom, gathering her few possessions and clothing, stuffing them haphazardly into the duffel bag. She heard Jasper’s footsteps approach and stop in the doorway.

“You’re welcome,” Jasper said, the sound of sloshing indicating she was taking another drink.

“For what?”

“For saving your… _her._ ” Jasper sneered the last word, unable to bring herself to say _your soulmate._

Lapis scoffed, “You wouldn’t have been there to help her if it weren’t for me putting in the wrong—”

Jasper cut her off, “She wouldn’t have gotten hurt at all if you didn’t put in the wrong address.”

That gave Lapis pause. She stopped packing as the sentence bounced around in her head, her gut twisting with guilt as she realized Jasper might be right.

“Don’t blame yourself too much,” Jasper mocked.

“You would have killed her anyway, if we’d met back then,” Lapis argued.

Jasper laughed, smiling, “Is that so?” After a moment, she conceded, “You’re probably right. I would have snapped her like a twig.” Jasper took another sip and hummed, “I’ll admit, maybe there is something to this alcoholism thing.”

“Charming.” Lapis deadpanned.

“As if you’re one to judge,” Jasper snapped defensively.

“I would rather be with an alcoholic than a psychopath. But that’s beside the point – Peridot didn't wreck because she was drunk.”

Neither of them said anything as Lapis continued packing. She zipped up the bag and threw it over her shoulder.

“But thanks, for saving her. I won’t take her for granted like you did to me.” Lapis pushed past Jasper, heading for the door. Just before she slammed it behind her, she heard Jasper speak up.

“Good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> good god this has been an adventure  
> the next two chapters are timeskips and idk when i'll get to them, probably sooner than i should in all honesty


	21. Epilogue 1: Twice a Day

It was a bright spring morning in Keystone, Delmarva. The sun’s warming rays made the birds sing gaily. Peridot slipped into consciousness peacefully, just as she had fallen asleep the night before. Peridot’s arm was numb thanks to the blue-haired girl curled up against her side, snoring quietly, a leg and arm thrown haphazardly over Peridot and pinning her to the bed.

Peridot stretched, careful not to disturb Lapis. She spared a glance her girlfriend and found herself unable to look away. Lapis’s mouth hung open, drooling on Peridot’s arm, a calmness of her features that Peridot could only witness in times like this. Peridot’s stomach flopped as butterflies stirred – she heard people say that feeling subsided with time, but after five and a half years, Peridot was beginning to doubt it. Not that she had a problem with it at all.

She gently brushed some saliva from Lapis’s mouth. The soft flesh against her fingertips made Peridot long to kiss her soulmate, but it seemed a crime to disturb her slumber. Regardless, Peridot succumbed to her instincts and leaned forward, ghosting her lips across Lapis’s.

Before Peridot could pull back, she was surprised by a hand on the back of her head, pulling her closer into a lazy, sloppy kiss. Lapis hummed against Peridot’s mouth before pulling away with a sleepy smile.

“Sorry,” Peridot whispered, voice rough from sleep, “I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

Lapis sighed and nuzzled into the crook of Peridot’s neck, mumbling, “Nice way to wake up.”

* * *

 

As they pulled into the driveway, Lapis was gaping at the house through the window. “Wow, it’s really beautiful,” she said, admiring the flowers surrounding the house.

Emerald chuckled, “Yeah, you can thank Peridot for that.”

Peridot and Lapis unloaded the trunk and hauled their things inside. Pumpkin ran into the house after them and barked excitably. He had never been in a real building before. Pumpkin went into the living room and jumped on the couch, rolling around on the cushions and pawing at them like he was digging a hole.

“Why don’t you show Lapis to her room?” Emerald suggested.

“Sure thing,” Peridot said, hopping up the narrow staircase – a bit awkwardly, thanks to her leg – with Lapis and Pumpkin trailing after her. She stopped at the door at the very top of the stairs, across the hallway from her own bedroom. “So, uh, this is the guest room – or, _your_ room, now.” Peridot shuffled nervously, opening the door across from Lapis’s room, “This is my room.”

Peridot’s room was full of plants – Emerald must have been watering them throughout the summer. Lapis smiled, “It’s very, uh, green.”

Peridot blushed, embarrassed, “Yeah.”

Lapis walked into the room past Peridot, spinning around to admire the vegetation. “It’s cute.”

Peridot huffed and watched her from the doorway, twitching anxiously.

“Are you okay?” Lapis asked, taking note of how jumpy Peridot was acting.

“Huh? Yeah!” Peridot lied.

Lapis frowned, “Is this – living together – too much? I don’t have to stay if it is. I’m sure Steven’s offer still—"

“No, no!” Peridot said quickly, waving her hands for emphasis, “It’s just, uhm, weird…” she trailed off, scratching the back of her head. Lapis waited for her to explain. “I guess it didn’t seem real, you know? Everything that happened at camp. Like a dream. But now I’m awake and—” Peridot fidgeted, “—You’re here.”

Lapis sat on Peridot’s bed, smiling, “I know what you mean.” She fell back on the bed, sprawling out, “We haven’t known each other in, like, actual civilian life.” Peridot sat down next to Lapis, the two of them content to enjoy the silence after the hectic bus ride.

Emerald called them from the kitchen, “Dinner’s ready!”

“That was fast,” Lapis commented, following Peridot back down the stairs.

The three of them sat at the table, awkwardly picking at their food. Peridot was sitting at the head of the table, Lapis on the booth-style bench against the wall as close to Peridot as she could be without falling off, and Emerald across from Lapis.

“So,” Emerald coughed, “How was camp?”

“Good,” Peridot answered quickly, taking a bite of her green beans.

“How did this—” she gestured between Lapis and Peridot, “—you know?”

Peridot flushed, “It’s kind of a long story, mom.”

“Right. Right!” Emerald said quickly, leaning back in her chair, “But, like, can’t you summarize?”

“We went to camp together. We started dating. We left camp together. The end.”

“And we found a dog,” Lapis added.

Pumpkin barked at the word “dog.” Lapis reached to pet the canine on the bench beside her, the glint of her timer catching Emerald’s eye. Emerald squinted at it, trying to discretely read it and failing at the _discrete_ part. She tried to look at Peridot’s wrist as well, but Peridot was holding her hand to her chest and glaring at her mom indignantly.

“Speaking of which, I’m gonna take Pumpkin out,” Peridot announced, getting up and leading the dog to the back of the house. Lapis and Emerald sat in awkward silence until they heard the footsteps fade away and the back door close.

Emerald drummed her fingers against the table and rubbed at her face in exasperation. The uncomfortable silence stretched between her and Lapis. “Are you done?” Emerald asked. Lapis hummed affirmatively and helped Emerald gather the dishes. They came to the unspoken agreement that Emerald would wash while Lapis dried.

“Thank you for dinner, Ms. Greene,” Lapis said sincerely, trying to get past the awkward silence.

Emerald scoffed, “Please, call me Emerald.”

Lapis wiped the moisture off a plate, glancing at Emerald, who had her eyes locked on the sink. Probably to keep them from wandering. “Did you want to see it?” Lapis asked, holding out her wrist.  

Emerald paused her dishwashing, looking at the timer and then meeting Lapis’s eyes, smiling warmly. “I’ve been meaning to ask how it all went down, but she’s so easily embarrassed,” Emerald turned back to the dishes, “You must have been excited to meet her.”

“Uh, not exactly.” Lapis admitted, embarrassed, “We were already well-acquainted before my timer showed up.”

“Well, now I’m _really_ interested,” Emerald joked.

Lapis chuckled, “I didn’t like her at first. But she grew on me really fast.” She sighed, rubbing at her elbow, “After I started to like her, I was really upset that I didn’t have a timer. Until it showed up and I had just enough time to find her.”

“I’m glad you did,” Emerald said softly, patting Lapis on the shoulder.  

That night, Lapis and Peridot were asleep in their respective beds. Or, rather, they were trying to sleep. Pumpkin had followed Emerald to bed, immediately taking a liking to her. Lapis related to the dog – Peridot was jealous of her mom.

From her bed in the guest room, Lapis could see Peridot in her bed across the hall. They watched each other silently, like playing a game of chicken over who would fall asleep first. The only sounds that could be heard was a clock ticking and Pumpkin’s immodest snoring which carried from Emerald’s room at the end of the hall.

Peridot lost their staring match, rolling over onto her back and closing her eyes. Her prosthetic leg was propped against the bed. Peridot heard scuffling from Lapis’s room and sighed as a weight settled on her bed and arms snaked around her waist. “Lapis,” she complained. Emerald finding them asleep together would be mortifying. Not because Emerald would disapprove, but because she might approve more than Peridot would like.  

Lapis ignored Peridot’s protests and pecked the shorter girl’s cheek, silently communicating the sentiment _I want to be near you_.

“Just couldn’t stay away from me, huh?” Peridot quipped, turning her back to Lapis and wiggling closer so she was the little spoon, in spite of her verbal protests.

“Nuh-uh,” Lapis mumbled, pressing a kiss to the back of Peridot’s neck.

Peridot tried not to squirm at the sensation, relaxing into Lapis’s arms. “I guess you can stay, but… just tonight.”

Lapis stayed in Peridot’s room the next night. And the next night. And the next. The guest room remained a guest room.

* * *

 

 

Peridot remained in bed, immobilized by Lapis wrapped around her. Her fingers lazily traced lines on Lapis’s back. The two would be content to laze around in bed all day, simply enjoying each other’s presence. Lapis stretched, drawing out a groan. She blinked her eyes open, smiling at Peridot. “You’re older today,” she pointed out.

Peridot snorted at the word choice – she and Lapis had rubbed off on each other, “I’m older every day.”

Lapis huffed, her breath against Peridot’s neck giving the latter goosebumps. “You know what I mean.”

The smell of bacon and eggs wafted into the room from downstairs. Peridot’s stomach growled.

“Same,” Lapis said in response to the sound, shifting off of her girlfriend.

Peridot took the opportunity to sit up and scoot over to the edge of the bed, fetching her clothes off the floor from where they had been discarded the night before. She could feel Lapis’s eyes boring into her back, shamelessly checking her out. Peridot still had trouble feeling good about herself when it came to the full-body lightning scar, but Lapis insisted that she loved it. It made Peridot feel marginally better at worst and significantly better at best. She slipped on her clothes – she heard Lapis huff in annoyance at that – and rolled up the left leg of her pants, “Ugh.”

“What’s wrong?” Lapis asked, propping herself up with one arm and using the blanket to cover herself with the other.

“I lost my leg,” Peridot grumbled.

“Where did you see it last?”

Peridot smirked, “Right next to my other one, like, eight years ago.”

A pillow smacked Peridot in the back of the head.

“Wow, that’s abuse,” Peridot whined feigningly. She spotted her prosthetic foot poking out from under the bed. “Ah-ha! Found it.” She slipped it on and hobbled to her desk, letting her stump settle into the socket with each step. In the top drawer of her desk, she retrieved the small velvet box she had been hiding from Lapis, slipping it into her pocket. When she turned around, Lapis was snoozing again. Peridot gave her a kiss on her way out of the room, heading downstairs for breakfast.

Under the table was a two-hundred-pound Saint Bernard. Pumpkin had gotten huge. He was drooling all over the floor, watching Emerald intently as she made bacon and French toast. Peridot sat down at the table and used her good foot to pet the dog. “Morning,” she said to her mom.

Emerald set a plate in front of her, beaming, “Happy birthday, Dottie.”

“Thanks,” Peridot said, smiling back and digging into the bacon. She slipped one strip of meat under the table to Pumpkin, who scarfed it down loudly and coated Peridot’s fingers in drool.

Lapis’s footsteps bounded down the stairs. “Good morning, Emerald,” she greeted cheerfully, “Food smells good.” Lapis and Emerald got along splendidly. It almost made Peridot jealous. Almost. Lapis walked up behind Peridot and mussed up the blonde’s hair. “Fluffy,” she observed. Peridot slapped Lapis’s hands away.

“I gotta go to work,” Emerald announced, a hint of sadness in her voice, grabbing her keys from the table. “Have fun today, girls.” She flashed Lapis a sketchy, pointed look. She had been doing that a lot lately, Peridot noticed.  

“Oh, we will,” Lapis assured.

After Emerald disappeared out the door, Peridot asked, “What exactly are you planning? Should I be worried?”  

“I’m hurt, you don’t trust me at all, do you?” Lapis joked.

“Can’t you at least give me a schedule or something? An agenda?” Peridot had been kept in the dark about Lapis and Emerald’s birthday schemes. Part of her wondered if Lapis was going to propose – it would definitely explain all the secrecy. But Peridot didn’t spend so much money on a ring to have it be an afterthought, a comedic “Wow! I was going to propose, too!” scenario. And Peridot refused to tell her mom she was going to propose to Lapis. Emerald couldn’t keep a secret from her future daughter-in-law if their lives depended on it – the same couldn’t be said for keeping secrets from Peridot herself. Once, Peridot had overheard a conversation between them:

“Lapis,” Emerald had said, “You’re like the daughter I never had.”

“But you have a daughter,” Lapis said, perplexed.

“Yeah, but you’re very different from her…”

Long story short, Lapis had assimilated into the family like water fits into a tight space.

“The first thing on our agenda,” Lapis said, pulling Peridot from her thoughts, “is to take Pumpkin outside, because we’re going to be out for a while. You’ll get the rest of the agenda as we go.”

Peridot sighed, resigning herself to her fate and leading Pumpkin to the back door. As soon as she opened the door, Pumpkin ran outside and started rolling in the grass. Peridot took a moment to watch the clumsy dog. He had the entire yard to himself, except for the vegetable garden which was fenced off ever since… _the incident_ when Pumpkin ironically destroyed the pumpkin patch. Peridot closed the door and went back to the kitchen, “Okay, let’s go.” She reached for the door knob to go into the garage, but Lapis grabbed her arm.

“How about we walk instead?” Lapis suggested, voice an octave higher than usual, eyes shifting nervously. Suspicious.

Peridot really didn’t want to walk, especially if it was going to be as long of an outing as Lapis made it sound like. The displeasure must have shown on her face because Lapis hooked elbows with Peridot, like she usually did when they walked anywhere, her height making it easy to support Peridot’s weight on her left side. It had taken a while for Peridot to realize that this wasn’t just Lapis being touchy but rather Lapis making sure Peridot’s stump didn’t get sore as quickly. It was one of the little things Lapis did for her that was so touching it reduced Peridot’s stubbornness to putty and made her agree to whatever Lapis wanted to do. “Walking it is,” Peridot agreed. Soreness be damned, Peridot would walk across the entire continental United States if Lapis held her arm the whole way.

The second item on Peridot’s birthday agenda turned out to be the zoo, but Peridot insisted on stopping at the local art museum first. “I heard they got some new stuff by a really talented artist,” Peridot teased, “Maybe you know her.” Lapis tried and failed to not get flustered every time Peridot fawned over each art piece with the name “Lazuli” on it. Peridot would search the museum until she found one of Lapis’s paintings and then she would stand in front of it and loudly announce to the other museum-goers, “My girlfriend painted this one!”

After Peridot had embarrassed Lapis to her heart’s content, they went to the zoo and laughed at the animals and each other. Peridot stopped to rest on a bench in front of a window looking into the tiger enclosure, her back turned to the glass.

“You kinda remind me of them,” Lapis said, sitting next to Peridot, facing the opposite direction so she could watch the big cats.

“How so? Because they’re cool and fierce?”

Lapis watched a tiger launch itself into the air spastically after another one frightened it with a tail flick. “Yeah…”

They stopped to get ice cream before leaving the zoo. Peridot licked her cone suggestively, wiggling her eyebrows at her girlfriend. Lapis gave Peridot a deadpan look as she grabbed the scoop of ice cream from Peridot’s cone, using her bare hand, and bit into it like an apple. Weird flex, but okay. The sight was intimidating in a strange way but it brought the engagement ring to the forefront of Peridot’s mind, making the box burn in her pocket. Peridot had the impulse to propose to Lapis right that second, with her hands and chin covered in vanilla ice cream.

Lapis checked the time on her phone using her clean hand, “Shit!” She set the scoop of ice cream back on Peridot’s cone. “We should head over to the third thing on our list.”

“Which is?” Peridot asked, licking at the ice cream Lapis manhandled. Five years ago, Peridot might have complained about that being unsanitary. Now, she just wanted ice cream. And she _knew_ where Lapis’s hands had been, if you catch my drift.

Lapis answered her with a head shake and a sigh. “You’ll figure it out when we get there.”

Peridot figured it out when they arrived at the movie theater for the afternoon showing of _Finding Nemo: Live Action_. Yes. Live action fish. The scene when the sharks chased Marlin and Dory was surprisingly action-packed and Peridot ended up hiding her face in Lapis’s shoulder when the shark, Bruce, went into his frenzy. Meanwhile, Lapis scarfed down popcorn and Dr. Pepper, an arm thrown around Peridot to comfort her.

Leaving the movie theater, Peridot asked what the next thing Lapis planned was. To her surprise, Lapis answered her, “The rest of your present is at home.”

They strolled along the sidewalk, the velvet box burning a hole in Peridot’s pocket. Part of her was afraid Lapis was going to propose to her. Truthfully, Peridot just wanted to see the look on Lapis’s face when she popped the question. It would be better than whatever present Lapis had at home – which was probably sex, now that Peridot was thinking about it. Weird, kinky sex. Only a marriage proposal could top that. Was Peridot ever going to get a better moment than today? She knew a perfect moment was impossible but… Lapis eating ice cream with her hand was pretty damn close. And Peridot had missed that opportunity. She stopped dead in her tracks in the middle of the crosswalk, unhooking her arm from Lapis’s. “Lapis?” she asked, trying not to sound like she was about to vomit from nerves as soon as her brain commanded her body to speak.

Lapis turned around to look at her quizzically, “Yes?”

Peridot audibly gulped, “I, uhm, wanted to thank you for today and also, uh, everything.” Shit, she was really fucking this up. Peridot felt sweaty like they were already having birthday sex. “I really loved it—” Peridot stuttered, “—and you! I mean, I-I really love _you_ , heh.”

Lapis smiled softly at Peridot and it made the sweating issue increase tenfold. Peridot wondered if Lapis was always this pretty. _Definitely_ , she thought. She tried to nonchalantly put her hand in her pocket.

“You’re probably the best thing that ever happened to me. And I was just… thinking about it lately and I wanted to ask if… if you would…” Peridot’s fingers closed around the box. She adjusted her stance and made to lower herself onto her good knee, “Would—”

_HONK-HONK. SMASH._

It happened quickly. One moment, Peridot was a stuttering, sweaty mess. The next, she was a hood ornament, her head bouncing against the metal vehicle. Why, oh why did she have to do this in the middle of a crosswalk? Lapis watched her girlfriend get mowed over by the vehicle, barely processing what was happening. It seemed to happen in slow motion. Lapis ran to catch Peridot when her limp body started to slide off the hood after the car screeched to a halt.

“Peridot?” Lapis asked, shaking her gently, “Peri…” She noticed something fall out of Peridot’s limp hand and she picked it up, her fingers trembling. She realized it was a wedding ring box and a million emotions struggled for dominance within her. The prevailing one was a strain of exasperation that could only be described as _God damnit, Peridot._

“Oh, no! I’m so sorry—Wait, Lapis Lazuli?”

Lapis looked up to see none of than Ronaldo-Fucking-Fryman, a guy she went to high school with. Ronaldo was exactly the sort of person who would run over a disabled girl as she was about to propose to her girlfriend. He was like the really annoying, kinda creepy, know-it-all guy who stuck his nose where it doesn’t belong and could never take a fucking hint – you know the type. You’re probably thinking of a really specific guy right now. I know I am, his name is Otis. _Shudders._

“Ronaldo? What the fuck! You hit my girlfriend!” Peridot groaned quietly, which put Lapis at ease. At least Peridot wasn’t dead, though she did have a big gash in her forehead.

“I’m sorry!” Ronaldo whined, “I didn’t see her.” He gasped, “Your girlfriend has invisibility powers! I need to document this for my blog!”

Ronaldo always did have a few screws loose. Lapis didn’t have time for it. She pocketed the ring, not looking inside the box – she shouldn’t take _all_ the surprise from Peridot – and scooped Peridot into her arms, bridal-style. Which is ironic given what Peridot was about to do.

The hospital was only a block away, conveniently. There were three things that played into Lapis being able to sprint there with an entire Peridot in her arms: one, Lapis is stronger than she looks; two, Peridot is lighter than my alcohol tolerance; three, adrenaline. When Lapis walked into the hospital, Peridot was quickly taken from her and whisked away to get whatever medical attention one receives after falling victim to vehicular assault at the hands of a deranged blogger.

Lapis was condemned to wait in the lobby. She texted Emerald, but didn’t receive a text back. Emerald was probably under some car draining the oil with her phone in the office, where it wouldn’t distract her into accidentally killing herself with some crazy car machinery. Lapis’s knee bounced with nerves. Her hand was tucked away in her pocket, fiddling with the soft velvet of the box. Lapis felt awful when she thought about how disheartened Peridot would be… her surprise ruined. Lapis had known that a proposal was imminent; After all, she saw Peridot grab the box that morning, like Peridot had been doing every morning for weeks. Lapis had the decency to play dumb and pretend Peridot was actually capable of hiding anything from her.

After a short eternity, a nurse came to the lobby and told Lapis she could go see Peridot. “She should be awake soon. We stitched up the gash on her head. Her prosthetic was damaged but that’s replaceable.” _And expensive_ , Lapis mentally commented. Peridot’s leg probably cost more than the ring tucked in Lapis’s pocket. It _definitely_ cost more than the present Lapis and Emerald had been hiding in the garage all day – which Peridot probably wouldn’t get to use for some time anyway, given her recent head trauma.

In Peridot’s hospital room, the heart monitor was beeping slowly and steadily. Peridot looked peaceful in her unconsciousness, safe for the bandage around her head. The prosthetic was propped against the bedside, the knee joint snapped. Perhaps the socket could be salvaged, though. _Salvaged._ Lapis had an idea. Peridot didn’t have to know that Lapis knew Peridot was going to propose… Lapis slipped the box under the bedsheet, finding Peridot’s hand and wrapping her fingers around it. Peridot would wake up, feel the box, and assume a nurse planted it there after finding the ring on her person. That was assuming Peridot was capable of that sort of mental labor after she woke up.

Half an hour later, Peridot’s eyes fluttered open, landing on Lapis asleep in a chair beside her before her other senses registered anything.

_Beep-beep, beep-beep, beep-beep._

Peridot glanced up and recognized the machine next to her bed as a heart monitor. The sound of Peridot’s heart rate increasing woke Lapis up. Peridot stretched, taking inventory of her body. Some unclear thought in her brain told her that you should do that when you wake up in the hospital. Take inventory. One leg. Two arms. Ten fingers. A velvet box in her right hand. Peridot remembered she had a ring before she was in the hospital. A nurse must have put it there for safe keeping – kudos to the hospital.

Lapis’s hand on Peridot’s shoulder made the latter lose count of her extremities. “Hey,” she said softly.

“What happened?” Peridot asked, trying to sit up quickly. Lapis held her down gently.

“You hit your head pretty bad…”

Peridot reached up to her forehead on instinct, her hand bumping the bandages and hurting the wound. “Ouch.”

Lapis pushed Peridot’s hand away from her forehead, “Be careful, there’s stitches. And…” Lapis bit her lip, not wanting to finish the _and._  

“What?” Peridot pressed.

“Your leg is broken,” Lapis held up the bent prosthetic.

Peridot laughed a bit too loudly, giving herself a headache. “That’s going to be expensive.”

Lapis smiled, happy to hear Peridot laughing. The smile disappeared as quick as it appeared and was replaced with a look of guilt. “I’m sorry your birthday date ended up here.”

“It’s not your fault, I had a lot of fun.” The date itself she couldn’t remember completely, but she definitely remembered having fun. Peridot had the mental image of Lapis eating ice cream with her hands, but couldn’t remember the context of the memory at the moment.

Neither of them spoke for a while until Lapis hesitantly asked, “What was your question?”

“Huh?”

“You were asking me something before that car made you eat shit.”

 _The ring._ The presence of the jewelry suddenly made more sense to Peridot. “Oh!” she said, sitting up slowly, glad that Lapis allowed her to do so this time. “Uhm, what was I saying… I love you? Yeah. I love you a lot, and…” Peridot removed her arm from under the bedsheet, opening the small box to show the ring to Lapis. It was custom made. A simple silver band with a large blue stone with gold flecks, covered in a special polish to water-proof it. Embedded within the large stone was a smaller green one. “Will you marry me?”

Lapis’s eyes went wide when she saw the ring. She touched the box in Peridot’s hand, leaning closer to stare at the jewelry. She recognized the gemstones instantly – the ones she and Peridot were named for.

Peridot’s nervous laugh pulled her out of her awe, “You’re supposed to say yes or no, Laz.”

Lapis felt her face heat up. She _knew_ this was coming and she was still at a loss for words. “Of course I will.”

Peridot beamed and pulled the ring from its box, taking Lapis’s hand and gently slipping the ring over her finger. Except, something about Peridot’s arm looked… _off_. Lapis felt her heart palpitate as she grabbed Peridot’s wrist and looked at the timer, still frozen, but numbers gone and replaced with letters:

_Lapis_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tfw you get ran over by a crazy blogger who went to high school with your girlfriend and the trauma fixes your timer that got fucked up eight years prior when you were struck by lightning on a motorcycle because you were supposed to stay at the party to meet your girlfriend but you're predisposed to nervousness and left the party early and fate had to redo everything so that you would meet your soulmate at summer camp and end up being banished from your teams and forced to live together but you slowly start to grow on each other and fall in love but you're scared of committing to anything because you don't know for sure if she's your soulmate and then she gets a timer and it has your name on it so you get over your inhibitions and then five years and some months later on your twenty third birthday, after you already propose to her and she accepts, you learn that she was your soulmate all along  
> rt if you agree


	22. Epilogue 2: Absolution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ab·so·lu·tion  
> /ˌabsəˈl(y)o͞oSH(ə)n/  
> noun  
> noun: absolution; plural noun: absolutions
> 
> formal release from guilt, obligation, or punishment.  
> synonyms: forgiveness

When Emerald finally got Lapis’s text, she immediately left work and drove to the hospital to give Lapis and Peridot a ride home. Peridot was discharged fairly quickly and given a pair of crutches to use until her prosthetic leg could be replaced. When they got back home, the first thing Peridot did was let Pumpkin back inside, knowing how lonely the dog got when left alone all day.

The dog circled her with his tail wagging furiously, confused by the crutches, as if he was thinking _hmm, favorite human has more metal sticks than usual?_ He grabbed one of the crutches in his jaws and tried to run back outside with it, getting stuck in the doorway. Peridot rolled her eyes and let the dog keep the crutch – she only really needed one, anyway.

Peridot hobbled back to the living room, using the crutch like a cane. Emerald and Lapis were both staring at her expectantly. Lapis had her hands hidden nonchalantly behind her back, keeping the engagement ring from Emerald’s view, “Peridot, do you want to tell her, or should I?”

“Oh!” Peridot said, mentally slapping herself. They probably _should_ tell Emerald the news. Peridot turned to her mom, “I proposed to Lapis.”

Emerald’s eyes went wide and she looked back and forth between them. She quietly asked, “Did she say yes?”

Peridot feigned offense while Lapis laughed. “I did,” Lapis confirmed.

Emerald screeched, “Finally!” She grabbed Lapis’s arm and whisked her away, jabbering on about wedding plans. Peridot watched them disappear into the basement and smiled to herself, flopping down on the couch. There was somebody else she needed to break the news to. She tapped out a quick message on her phone:

_Peridot: nephy get your ass over here right tf now_

Not a minute later, Peridot got a reply.

_Nephrite: what? wdym? everything ok_

_Peridot: will be if u get down here right now_

Nephrite lived just down the street from Peridot’s house, and after a minute Peridot could hear the graceless footsteps running up the pavement to her door. Nephrite let herself into the house, yelling, “Peridot?!”

“In here,” Peridot replied calmly.

Nephrite popped around the corner and gawked at Peridot, taking in the bandages on her forehead and the missing prosthetic leg that had been replaced by a single crutch. “What’s wrong? Where the fuck is your leg?”

“I broke it,” Peridot said, smiling at the horror on Nephrite’s face. She patted the spot on the couch next to herself, “That’s not why I texted you, though. I have good news and bittersweet news. Which do you want first?”

Nephrite sat down nervously, fidgeting, “Uh, the good news?”

Peridot wordlessly pulled out the ring box and handed it to Nephrite, flashing a toothy grin.

Nephrite gasped as she snatched the box from Peridot, clutching it to her chest as her eyes glossed over. “You’re going to propose to Lapis?” she whispered.

“Open it,” Peridot insisted.

Nephrite obliged her friend and stared blankly at the empty inside of the box. “It’s empty.” She gasped again, “Lapis said yes?”

Peridot hummed affirmatively, beaming at her childhood friend.

Nephrite jumped up from the couch and hopped around the living room excitably. She stopped dead in her tracks, spinning around to look at Peridot curiously. “Wait, then what’s the bittersweet news?”

Peridot held out her left wrist, timer turned up for Nephrite to see. Nephrite kneeled down and stared at it for a long moment before rubbing at her eyes. “Peridot,” she said shakily, “I’m so happy for you.”

At that, she lost her composure and her shoulders started to shake with silent sobs. Peridot scooted off the couch and sat on the floor next to Nephrite, hugging her. It had never been discussed between them, but Peridot knew Nephrite had blamed herself all these years. The soulmate party had been Nephrite’s idea, after all. Even though it had been Peridot’s decision to leave the party during the storm, that didn’t help to ease Nephrite’s guilt.

“Hey,” Peridot said gently, squeezing Nephrite’s shoulders, “Do you want to be my best hoe?”

Nephrite’s shoulders shook with a mixture of laughter and crying, “Sure, Dot.”    

* * *

 

It was the winter before Peridot’s twenty-third birthday when Emerald quietly walked up behind Lapis, catching a glimpse of the laptop screen. “Motorcycles?” she asked.

Lapis squeaked and slammed the computer shut, looking over her shoulder and sighing with relief when she saw who it was. “I thought you were Peridot for a second.” Peridot was currently at work at the local NASA center, building rocket ships and probably doing classified experiments on aliens that she couldn’t tell Lapis about. Though, if that were the case, they must have been doing some sort of hypnosis to keep Peridot’s mouth shut about the aliens. No way she would keep that from Lapis.

“You were looking at motorcycles,” Emerald pressed, raising an eyebrow at Lapis.

Lapis deflated, “Yeah. I was. I think Peridot misses when she had one.” Sometimes, when the two of them were out, they would see a motorcyclist and Peridot would “discretely” stare at them, eyes filled with longing. Lapis didn’t bother to mention that she felt partially responsible for Peridot’s first bike being destroyed, but Emerald was smart enough to catch the subtext anyway.

“Oh, yeah,” Emerald agreed frankly, much to Lapis’s surprise. Lapis had been expecting, “It’s not your fault, Lapis,” or some other comforting words. Emerald took a seat next to her, “But she can’t drive one anymore. She can’t shift a bike with her prosthetic.” Emerald held out her leg and flicked her left foot up and down, imitating the shifting motion of a motorcycle.

“Right, but,” Lapis opened up her laptop and went to a page she had bookmarked, “That’s why I was looking at this.”

Emerald squinted at the screen. It was a page for an electronic shift transmission system. The system was meant to render the gear lever obsolete, allowing the rider to shift using controls on the handlebars instead. “Huh, it’s like the controls on a four-wheeler.” Emerald noted, “That’s a great idea.”

“You think so?” Lapis asked. “I don’t want to upset her, though. I know she doesn’t like being treated like she’s incapable.”

“I think she’ll be more touched than anything,” Emerald reasoned, “What kind of bike were you looking at?”

“She had a sport bike before, didn’t she?” Lapis wracked her brain, “Like a Honda CB-something?”

“A CB300F, yeah. You weren’t planning on getting her another, were you?”

Emerald’s tone gave Lapis pause, “Uh, should I not be?”

Emerald tsk’ed. “Sport bikes are nice, don’t get me wrong. But they’re not really her style, you know?”

Lapis thought about it and realized Emerald was right. Peridot would look much more at home on a dirt bike.

“Let me see that,” Emerald said, taking Lapis’s laptop and typing in a URL. She clicked through the webpage a few times. “Check this one out.”

Lapis looked at the motorcycle Emerald had on the screen and chuckled at the fact she and Emerald seemed to agree that a dirt bike suited Peridot. “I can’t lie,” she said, “That is the coolest bike I have ever seen.”

Lapis and Emerald decided they both would contribute to the bike. Lapis would cover the cost of the motorcycle itself – a CRF250L – with money she’d been saving from selling her artwork. Emerald would buy and install the electronic transmission system. Lapis and Emerald hid the bike at Emerald’s shop so Peridot wouldn’t stumble upon it. Lapis tried to help Emerald install the transmission as best she could with no mechanical knowledge, which meant Lapis spent most of the time sitting around the shop keeping Emerald company or handing her tools. The night before Peridot’s birthday, Lapis kept Peridot busy – in a _very_ literal sense – while Emerald hid the motorcycle in the garage. The plan was to give it to Peridot at the end of the day, but after the incident with Ronaldo and the concussion and broken leg, it had to be postponed.

Once Peridot got her leg replaced, Lapis knew it was time to act. Peridot was sitting at the table drinking a cup of coffee, reading _Camp Pining Hearts_ Pierrcy fanfiction on AO3 when a pair of hands covered her eyes.

“Guess what,” Lapis purred into Peridot’s ear.

“Lapis,” Peridot droned, trying not to melt at the stimulation to her ear, “I know it’s you.”

“I said guess what, not guess who.”

“What?” Peridot asked, confused.

“You have to guess!” Lapis insisted.

Peridot sighed. “I have no idea what’s happening right now.”

“That’s the idea,” Lapis said. “Stand up and let me lead you.” Peridot did as she was told, letting Lapis walk her to the door leading into the garage. Lapis’s hands obstructed her vision the entire time. “My hands are full, open the door,” Lapis ordered lightheartedly.

Grumbling under her breath, Peridot reached out and fumbled until she grabbed the knob and opened the door.

“Watch your step,” Lapis warned, carefully leading Peridot into the garage.

“When can I have my vision back?” Peridot asked.

Lapis uncovered Peridot’s eyes, “Now.”

Peridot blinked, staring blankly at her belated birthday present: A brand new Honda CRF250L. It was the rally version which included headlights, blinkers, and other things to make the bike street legal. Lapis tried not to succumb to nervousness, ignoring the voice in her head that was currently telling her how stupid she was for trying to do this, that Peridot was going to hate it and ask Lapis why on Earth she would get a _motorcycle_ , of all things.

Peridot looked at Lapis, her eyebrows knit together in confusion, “You got this… for me?”

Lapis nodded, biting her lip, “Yeah. Your mom helped a lot, too. It’s from both of us.”

Taking a step closer, Peridot gently ran a hand over the handlebars, “So _this_ is why you two have been acting so sketchy!” Peridot paused when she noticed the extra controls on the left handgrip. “Is this an electric transmission mod?”

“You recognize it?” Lapis asked, surprised.

Peridot blushed sheepishly, “Yeah.” She didn’t bother to mention that she had done a lot of research into disability modifications for motorcycles after losing her leg, just out of curiosity. As much as she wanted to get back on the metaphorical horse, Peridot had assumed Lapis wouldn’t be comfortable with Peridot taking up such a dangerous hobby again. She walked around the bike. Peridot made sure her prosthetic knee was locked into place – the new joint still needed to be broken in – before throwing her good leg over the seat and settling onto the bike. The key was already in the motorcycle, so she turned it into the “on” position, pulled on the clutch lever, and pressed the ignition. The machine rumbled to life and Peridot took a deep breath, the smell of the exhaust immediately filling her with nostalgia. She put a gentle pressure on the throttle, flinching slightly when the engine responded louder than she had intended. She revved the bike again, grinning this time. Lapis returned the smile.

Peridot shifted the bike onto her good leg’s side and put up the kickstand with her prosthetic leg, smiling to herself at completing the simple task. She noticed the passenger pegs on the side of the bike and flipped them down, looking at Lapis and wiggling her eyebrows as if to say, _hop on._

Lapis looked at Peridot skeptically, “Not that I don’t want to, but maybe you should get a feel for it before you try with someone on the back?”

Peridot rolled her eyes, “Lapis, it’s literally riding a bike. You know what they say about that, right?” She wiggled the handlebars back and forth, “Look, I already got a feel for it. Feels like a motorcycle.”

Lapis sighed and climbed onto the back, wrapping her arms around Peridot’s waist. “I think that phrase is about bicycles, specifically—” she cut herself off with a surprised shout, tightening her grip on her girlfriend – or, fiancée, now – as Peridot blasted out of the garage with a maniacal laugh.

  

* * *

 

 

Lapis sat by herself in the living room, reading a book with the TV playing _Camp Pining Hearts_ quietly in the background. Peridot was in the backyard tending to the vegetable garden, having taken Pumpkin outside with her for company.

The ringing of the doorbell interrupted Lapis’s book. She went to the front door and opened it to reveal a tall, scary woman with short blonde hair and blue eyes. The woman was wearing a fancy pantsuit and holding an expensive-looking bottle of champagne.

“Hello?” Lapis said, confused by the sudden appearance of some random stranger.

“Oh, my goodness!” The woman said, a posh inflection to her voice, “Peridot, you’ve certainly changed, haven’t you?” She pushed past Lapis, letting herself into the house like she owned the place. She took a seat at the dining room table.

Lapis was instantly annoyed with this woman and the vibe she gave off. “I’m not Peridot.”

“Oh, pardon me. I didn’t think Emerald could afford a maid. Well, in that case, fetch me some chamomile,” she snapped her fingers at Lapis, “But wash your hands first, I don’t want any of that hair dye in my drink.”

Lapis stayed where she was standing, crossing her arms at the woman in unamusement.

“Ugh, so rude. Fine, here,” she slapped a one-hundred-dollar bill on the table, “Don’t spit in the tea.”

Lapis stared at the money, connecting the dots. Rich. Entitled. Looks like she cuts down forests to build skyscrapers. Doesn’t know a damn thing about Peridot except the fact she exists. “Are you Yellow Diamond?”

“Uh, yes? Wow, note to self: send Emerald a recommendation for a smarter maid.” She turned up her nose at Lapis, eyeing Lapis’s torn jeans and loose t-shirt. “And one that dresses professionally.”

“Why are you here?” Lapis asked, voice laced with hostility.

Yellow gestured to the bottle of champagne, “To celebrate my only daughter’s twenty-first birthday?”

Lapis opened her mouth to correct Yellow on Peridot’s age, but the sound of the back door opening and closing interrupted her. Peridot walked into the kitchen wearing her dirty gardening overalls and a wide-brimmed straw hat. She turned on the faucet and started washing her muddy hands in the kitchen sink. Peridot opened the fridge and drank some milk straight from the carton. She replaced the milk and closed the refrigerator door, finally noticing that Yellow was watching her from the table. Peridot froze and stared at her second mother, expression unreadable.

Yellow got up and approached Peridot, a displeased expression on her face, “Peridot, really? You never grew out of playing in the dirt? And you still drink from the carton like an animal?”

“What are you doing here?” Peridot asked, annoyed.

Yellow made an exasperated noise and shoved the bottle of champagne into Peridot’s hands. “For your birthday, silly. Happy twenty-first.”

Peridot looked at the champagne, confused. “I’m twenty-three… and my birthday was a month ago.”

“Yes, yes, whatever.” Yellow waved a hand dismissively, “Can you please tell your maid to make my tea instead of staring at me rudely? It’s making me uncomfortable.”

“My _maid?_ ” Peridot said in disbelief, glancing at Lapis. Peridot’s face turned red in anger and she slammed the bottle of champagne onto the counter loudly. “I think you should leave, Yellow. Lapis is my fiancée, not a maid. You’re the one being rude.”

“Rude?” Yellow repeated, aghast. “What do you know about manners? You were raised by _Emerald_! She’s a classless mechanic.”

Peridot had her hands on Yellow’s back, pushing her towards the front door, smearing dirt on the back of the expensive pantsuit in the process. “Apparently I know more about manners than you!” After she had escorted Yellow through the doorway, she paused, composing herself. “Thank you for stopping by,” Peridot said carefully, breathing heavily with restraint. “Please, don’t come back.” She slammed the door loudly, shoulders slumping. “Wow,” she mumbled to herself.  

Lapis had been watching this entire exchange, trying not to laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. She tried to lighten the mood, wrapping her arms around Peridot’s neck from behind, speaking in a perfect impression of Kermit the Frog’s voice. “Wow,” Lapis echoed, right into Peridot’s ear, “You’re so chivalrous.”

                                                         

* * *

 

 

Lapis and Peridot had commuted to Beach City together many times in their first five years as a couple, mostly because Peridot had to make the trip every morning for school. First, Beach City High School, then Beach City University after she graduated. Lapis often tagged along so she could spend the day at Steven’s house and hang out with Amethyst.

This time, however, the car ride was unbearably silent and tense. With their Autumn wedding date approaching faster than either could wrap their heads around, Lapis had decided they needed to make the announcement to two other people. Margo and Andy Lazuli. Whether or not they came, or even supported the wedding, was to be determined. But Lapis wouldn’t let the burden of her parents’ absence at her wedding fall on her own shoulders. If they knew, and didn’t come, it was on them. If they knew, and they came… that would be alright, too, Lapis decided.

Sooner than Lapis would have liked, Peridot’s truck came to a stop outside a familiar house. Lapis hadn’t been there in over ten years, almost eleven. It looked just like the artist remembered.

“Are you okay? We don’t have to do this if not,” Peridot assured.

Lapis nodded. “I’m just scared,” she admitted.

“Is there anything I can do?”

“Just… hold my hand. And catch me if I pass out from stress.”

Peridot smiled softly, “Alright.”

They got out of the vehicle and walked to the door hand-in-hand. Lapis knocked three times. Peridot squeezed Lapis’s hand when she felt it begin to tremble as footsteps approached the other side of the door.

The door opened to reveal an older man with grey and balding hair. He looked at them in confusion, then recognition, followed by shock, which was then followed by him throwing his arms around Lapis in a tight hug. “Lapis,” he said, muffled.

Lapis let go of Peridot’s hand to hesitantly return the hug, “Hey, dad.” After a moment, she returned the hug with equal fervor, squeezing her father tightly.

“Who’s at the door, Andy?” a woman’s voice called from inside the house.

Lapis’s dad released her from the bear hug and called back, “Come see.”

Lapis looked over his shoulder, a mix of eagerness, hope, and fear playing out on her face.

A woman with greying hair came into view and moved through the same stages of emotion as Andy. She dropped a porcelain plate on the floor, shattering it as she ran to the doorway and gave Lapis a second bear hug. “Oh, it can’t be. Is it really you?”

Lapis laughed, a bit overwhelmed as she returned the embrace. She was a few inches taller than her mom, now. “I think so.”

Lapis’s mom pulled away and cupped her daughter’s face, “Oh, goodness. You’re so grown up, so beautiful! I can’t believe it.” She touched a lock of Lapis’s messy blue hair, “Dear, what on Earth did you do to your hair?” She laughed, shaking her head quickly, “Nevermind, it looks great. It suits you.”

Her husband put a hand on her shoulder, silencing her, “Calm down, Margo, you’re smothering the poor girl.” He looked past Lapis and met Peridot’s eyes. Margo followed his gaze and Peridot started to sweat under the scrutiny, being sized up by Lapis’s parents. Lapis and Peridot were both bracing for the disgust, yelling, and condemnation. Peridot had a taser in her back pocket in case Andy got violent. Instead, Margo and Andy smiled at Peridot. “Who’s this?” Andy asked.

“I’m Peridot,” Peridot said, offering a handshake to him, letting out a relieved breath when he accepted it and didn’t crush her hand.

Lapis sucked in a shaky breath and let it out, forcing herself to calm down as she took Peridot’s hand again. “My fiancée,” she added quietly, examining the expressions on her parents’ faces.

Surprisingly, Lapis’s parents both smiled, albeit with a sadness in their eyes. “Oh, honey,” Lapis’s mother said, “We’re so sorry for… everything we did—”

“Why don’t you two come inside, get out of the cold,” Andy said, cutting off his wife, “We can talk over tea.”

Lapis, Peridot, and Andy sat down at the table while Margo went to make them all tea.

“So,” Lapis’s father said, letting the word trail off as he bit his lip and scratched at the pattern on the wooden table – like Lapis does when she’s nervous, Peridot noticed – “How did you two meet?” He looked up from the table hopefully.

“Summer camp,” Lapis answered.

An awkward silence stretched between the three of them until Margo returned with a tray of tea, oblivious to the tension. “So, how did you two meet?” she asked cheerfully.

“Summer camp,” Andy quipped, smiling at Lapis. Lapis returned the grin.

Peridot looked around the house, feeling out of place. On the wall behind Andy and Margo, something caught her eye. A painting. Bright hues of orange and purple made up a sky – though there was a darker streak of color across the sky, as if the painter had been startled in the midst of the artwork’s creation – while more subdued colors, greens and browns, were used to depict a quaint little building. A familiar building, at that. Peridot recognized it from when she first found out that Lapis was an artist. She nudged Lapis’s leg under the table, trying to call Lapis’s attention to her art piece on the wall. Lapis followed Peridot’s gaze, blindsided when she recognized it as well.

Their gawking did not go unnoticed by Lapis’s parents, who looked behind them and realized what the two were staring at. Lapis’s father cleared his throat, “Our friend came across that at an art auction. Said he saw the name and knew he had to get it for us.” He beamed at Lapis, pride written all over his face.

Lapis was at a loss for words. Her parents had always hated and disapproved of her art, but there was one of her own paintings, proudly hanging on their wall. Lapis remembered a crucifix used to hang in that place of the wall – they must have taken it down to make room for the painting.

Margo spoke up, snapping Lapis out of her trance, “We thought we might never see you again.” Her hands clutched her cup of tea as she blinked away some tears. “We went to your graduation, hoping to find you, but… we didn’t.”

Ashamed, Lapis quietly admitted, “I had to redo my senior year.”

Everybody jumped at the sound of Andy slamming his cup down on the table. “Well,” he said firmly, eyes fierce, “You didn’t need a diploma to make a life for yourself, anyways, did you?” He took a deep breath, as if he was swallowing what was left of his pride, “I’m glad that… that you proved us wrong. That’s all we could have hoped for.”

Speechless, Lapis stared into her cup of tea, clutching it tightly like her mother. This entire situation was weird. Lapis couldn’t believe her parents had changed so much. Granted, it _had_ been ten years, but this was a complete one-eighty from the last time she saw them.

Margo changed the topic, “Well, we already knew our daughter is a talented artist. Peridot, what do you do for work?”

“I’m an engineer,” Peridot answered matter-of-factly.

Andy raised his eyebrows and lifted his cup of tea to his lips while Margo followed up, “Really? Where do you work?”

Peridot swallowed. As much as she liked to brag about her career, she didn’t want to overshadow Lapis, which was what usually happened when she told people the specifics of her profession. “NASA engineer” always seemed to turn more heads than “freelance artist”. Unfortunately, Margo left no way for Peridot to skirt around the question. “I work at the Goddard Space Flight Center.”

Lapis’s father slammed down his cup of tea again, choking on the liquid he was drinking. “NASA?” he managed to rasp between coughs.

Peridot nodded sheepishly. Lapis had told her that Andy was a pilot, which explained his excitement.  

Andy grinned, “Lapis, I’m so proud of you!” Lapis laughed as Peridot’s face turned a deep shade of red. Lapis never realized how much she missed her parents and their crassness.

Margo scoffed, “Please, you two. Be tactful. You’re embarrassing the poor girl.”

Andy laughed and snorted, “Alright, alright.” He stood up from the table abruptly, smirking. “But I need to have a word alone with the bride.”

Lapis and Peridot exchanged confused looks.

“I’m talking about Peridot,” he clarified, a bit sad that nobody else found humor in his joke.

Peridot threw a cautious glance to Lapis, as if to ask _Should I?_ Lapis shrugged. Peridot decided _fuck it, I have a taser if he tries to kill me_ , and followed Andy outside, shivering when the cold air hit her again.

“Must be a bad storm coming,” Andy said, trying to make small talk.

“Yeah,” Peridot agreed, not bothering to mention that her bodily trauma made her a walking weather station. Her stump and the healed break in forearm were especially achy whenever a storm was about to hit, like they were now.

Andy kicked a pebble off the steps, taking a seat. Peridot followed suit. “Ah, how does it go,” Andy mumbled, “So, uh, you better take care of Lapis. Respect her. Treat her right, or, uh, you’ll answer to me.” He poked himself in the chest with his thumb.

Peridot looked at Andy, bewilderment written all over her face. “Are you fucking serious?” she said, flinching when she realized she said that out loud. So much for good impressions. Andy looked just as shocked. Peridot tried to recover, “With all due respect, Mr. Lazuli – and there isn’t much due – _you_ better respect her and treat her right or you’ll answer to _me._ ” Peridot wondered how it was possible for such a benign-sounding speech to piss her off that much. Probably because it was dripping in hypocrisy.

To Peridot’s surprise, Andy laughed boisterously. “Wow,” he said, “I like you, Peridot.”

“I don’t see what’s so funny,” Peridot grumbled, crossing her arms over her knees.

Andy stopped laughing and sighed sadly. “Yeah, you’re right.” He gazed out across the yard, his eyes landing on the faded swing set that he never had the heart to get rid of. “I don’t expect you to understand,” he said softly. “I just wanted to do what was best for her, and I’ll be the first to admit I didn’t know what that was. I never let her have any freedom. I tried to control who and what she grew up to be. It was foolish at best and malicious at worst. When I—” his voice broke and he turned his face away, “—when I kicked her out, I thought it was tough love, that she would come back the next day and everything would be better. But she didn’t. I’ve had a lot of time to reflect on what a terrible father I was.”

Peridot watched him reach up and wipe at his face.

“I can’t tell you why it was so hard to just… accept her. I don’t know why it was. I guess I just wanted to protect her. All the other kids at school were getting into all sorts of trouble… I would give anything to take it back, to let her do whatever she wanted when I had the chance. I can’t imagine how suffocating it must have been, to be torn down every day by the people she was supposed to look to for support.” He met Peridot’s eyes, his own red and glossy, “But, please, believe me when I say I only wanted what was best. That’s all I ever wanted. It kills me to know I spent so much time working against that.”

Peridot listened intently, weighing what he said. “I think I get it,” she said, fiddling with the fabric covering her new prosthetic, “I mean, not the part about being a homophobic art hater—” Andy chuckled at the bluntness of those words “—but wanting to feel in control of things?” she glanced at him and found him watching her with great interest. “My mom gave me all the freedom I could want, and she was always so enthusiastic towards my interests, but it still backfired. I spent a lot of time trying to get back the control I lost. Sometimes I wish my mom had stepped in sooner, been more involved before she was forced to. But, like you said, she tried her best. But one person can’t take the reins of another person’s life to steer them in the right direction. You have to do it for yourself.”

Andy nodded solemnly, “That’s very wise, Peridot. I know you didn’t ask for it, and it probably doesn’t mean much coming from someone like me, but you do have my blessing.”

“Thank you,” Peridot said, “That means a lot to me, Mr. Lazuli.”

He stood up from the steps and held out his left hand to Peridot, “Please, call me Andy. Or dad. Either works.”

Peridot stood up and grasped his hand firmly, shaking it. When she went to retract her hand, it didn’t budge. Peridot realized Andy was staring at her timer, his eyes glossing over again. He released her hand and turned his back to her.  

“You should go inside, she’s probably worried about you,” he said, voice despaired. Peridot remembered Lapis telling her how Andy insisted that Lapis’s soulmate would be a boy, that she would never get a timer with a woman’s name.

Peridot hesitated, trying to think of what else to say and wondering if there _was_ anything else to be said. She was pretty sure Andy was about to start crying and he clearly didn’t want to do so in front of his future daughter-in-law. Peridot decided to leave their conversation as is and quietly slipped back into the house. Just before she closed the door behind her, she heard Andy sniffle. _Holy shit_ , Peridot thought to herself, _I just made her dad cry._ For some reason, that made Peridot feel really satisfied with herself. She counted it as a win and strutted back to the dining room.

She stopped at the end of the hallway – should she interrupt Lapis’s first conversation with her mom in a decade? Peridot felt bad standing here and eavesdropping, but it seemed a lot better than the alternative, so she stayed put.

“—My timer showed up after we became roommates, and it timed out almost instantly.”

Margo’s voice asked, “But hers?”

Peridot could hear Lapis hesitating, “It had… a bit of lag, you could say. But it did eventually time out on my name.”

Margo sighed, “Lapis, I’m so sorry for what we did to you. Your father is, too. He tries to keep himself together but he’s just torn up over everything.” Margo paused, “You know, we—we almost got divorced over it. I blamed him for a long time, but now I just blame myself for not sticking up for you. I should have been there for you, and I’m so sorry I wasn’t. I’m glad somebody was, at least. Steven, was it? He sounds like a wonderful kid.”

Somebody drummed their fingers against the table. Peridot heard Lapis speak up, voice full of trepidation, “Thanks, mom. That means a lot.”

“Do you think you could ever forgive me?” Margo asked quietly.

Lapis didn’t answer right away. “I think…” Lapis hesitated, “I can start to. Yeah.”

When neither of them said anything, Peridot decided it was probably time to stop eavesdropping. She stepped back into the dining room. Lapis and Margo both looked up at her expectantly.

Peridot sat down and Lapis gave her a deliberate look, wordlessly asking _How did it go?_

Peridot gave Lapis a small nod. Margo watched the silent exchange with a smile, finding it sickeningly sweet how Lapis and Peridot could read each other so well.

The back door opened and closed and Andy came back to the dining room, his eyes red and puffy from crying. He tried to play it off, “That storm is about to hit. You girls planning on getting snowed in? Not that we’d complain if you did.”

“We have to go home,” Lapis replied, “The dog needs let in.” Her parents’ faces fell, neither of them wanting to see Lapis go so soon. “But we can come back later!” Lapis said quickly, trying to reassure them, “Maybe… not tomorrow, but the next day?” She stood up and leaned over the table, grabbing a pen and napkin. She started scribbling numbers onto the napkin, “I’ll give you our numbers and, uhm, the wedding date, so you can clear your schedules if you’d like to come. You’re welcome to.” Lapis slid the napkin across the table to them, her hands shaking.

Andy and Margo beamed. “We’d love that,” Margo said assuredly.

“Great!” Lapis said, a bit too loudly, “Then, uh, bye. I’ll - we’ll see you later, then.” She walked to the door quickly, not bothering to close it behind herself and breaking into a run as soon as she was outside.

Peridot flashed an awkward, apologetic smile to her in-laws. “Thanks for the tea. I should go, uhm. Yeah.” She followed after Lapis, closing the door behind her. Lapis was already in the pickup and Peridot climbed in after her. Lapis had slumped into the passenger seat, her hands over her face as she hyperventilated and trembled. Peridot eyed her in concern. The whole situation must have gotten too overwhelming. “So… how was that?” Peridot asked carefully.

Lapis surprised Peridot with a laugh, dropping her hands from her face, a few tears running down her cheeks. “Good,” she choked out, sniffling and smiling at Peridot.

Peridot squeezed Lapis’s knee comfortingly and started the truck. “Good,” she echoed.                                                                                         


End file.
